ADD child | Imamother

amother

Wed, Feb 10 2021, 10:44 pm

It's been suggested that my 3 year old has ADD, we are looking to get her tested.
I am the kind of person who really enjoys my space and quiet. I struggle with this child because she is a running soundtrack in my ear all day. Chatter, chatter, chatter....and more than that she constantly needs affirmation of everything that she shares. "Right Ima this, right ima that, look ima look ima...." And I feel suffocated being in her presence. I try to give her one on one time so she has my full attention but she can't get enough! She is deliciously cute and such a sweet child and I love her for a million reasons, but this makes me really want to avoid her because I find it super draining. What would you suggest could help?

amother

Blush

Wed, Feb 10 2021, 11:30 pm

ADD or not, there's nothing WRONG with being a chatterbox! I totally get how draining it is, I'm an introvert and feel like kids are constantly chasing me and I just can't get enough alone time. But this may just be her personality, and I don't see that calling it ADD will make a difference. Medicating kids to keep them quiet, though tempting, probably is not a good idea.

In general, any kinds of treatment and intervention should be to help the child with their struggles - but they may not end up helping YOU much.

Do her teachers find her overwhelming also?

Practically, you can help guide her to self-validation and independence. "Do YOU like the tower you made?" "How about you take a picture of your painting and we can send it to Bubby." "That's an interesting question. What do you think?"

She also might like talking on the phone with friends or facetiming with relatives. That can give her the talking she needs but not only in your ear!

behappy2

Thu, Feb 11 2021, 5:13 am

Try to match her enthusiasm, her pitch and tone.

You initiate. Play hide and go seek, tag. Have her stand at one wall, you on the opposite end and have her run into your arms. Hug her up and tell her to run back to the wall. Do this back and forth multiple times. These games will give her confidence that you love her. Over time she will need you less.

amother

Slateblue

Thu, Feb 11 2021, 5:28 am

I agree that age 3 is very young for diagnosis.

If you can help her find activities that can keep her busy independently, that will be a big help. This may require doing them with her initially to show her how they're done.

- Jigsaw puzzles (start with the super easy jumbo ones that only have 4 or 6 pieces, you may be able to borrow them from your local library)

- magna tiles or other building toys

- toy cars, animals, and people (can be placed inside magna tile constructions, lined up and rearranged repeatedly, or used for pretend play)

- paper and crayons

My 3 year old son is very rambunctious, but he can do some of the above by himself for quite a long period. It's not predictable or reliable, meaning I can't set a puzzle in front of him at 9:05 a.m. and guarantee that he'll be in the mood to do it himself. He may want to run around and bother me at that time. But when all the things are available, he will decide when he wants to do them and there will be at least a few quiet interludes.

One of the symptoms of ADHD can be hyperfocus, so if your daughter does have it (which is probably too early to tell for sure), there is a good chance she will be able to focus for a long time when allowed to pick her preferred activities. My child with ADHD is 7 now and can spend hours immersed silently in a single activity if allowed to do so.

Good luck.

amother

Pewter

Thu, Feb 11 2021, 8:59 am

3 years old is way to young in my opinion. My son was an extremely busy 2/3 year old, constantly talking moving doing and ADHD runs in my family and I was nervous for him. Around age 4 he really calmed down and he is now 8 and at the top oh his class academically and socially. Zero issues sitting and learning.

My 6 year old actually has an ADD diagnosis. She had a terrible time doing zoom last year but I just figured that was age. She started first grade behind and I wanted to get her resource room so I took her to a neuropsych for a learning disability diagnosis and he surprised me with a an ADD diagnosis as well! I was a little upset at first but as the year goes on OMG yes he was right there is definitely ADD here. NOT ADHD, just plain ADD which is an inability to focus but no hyperactivity. In preschool she had no problems but there is a lot more expected of a first grader as far as focusing so it makes sense its only starting to have negative affects this year.

hfam

Thu, Feb 18 2021, 10:46 pm

I am sensory and can have the same problem. Out of 6 kids 5 are diagnosed with ADD/ADHD.
I was told by a few professionals that my kids should be in school and afterschool care (in Israel called tzaharon). Even my 2.5 year old is in after playgroup care and he loves it. It is a small group and he gets more attention there. (His play group is a bigger group).
The child/ren don't suffer from it. Everyone benefits.
I highly recommend the same to you.