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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
Extreme Anger in a child



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huff




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 21 2021, 10:58 am
DD is 6. He's extremely intelligent, sensitive and very, very intense. From the youngest age he's been just very strong-minded. He's my oldest so until I had more kids I didn't realise that it wasn't normal how intense he was. Always on the go from morning till night, into everything, never sleeping etc. Etc. Bh I have put a ton of love and care into him. We talk about feelings and how to deal with them. He asks deep questions about Hashem and the universe and we have amazing conversations. Overall he's a kind and brilliant boy. He has one problem though, he gets super angry about the smallest thing.doesmt even have to be at a person for example if he bumps his head on the door handle he'll be shrieking that he hates the door, he hates this house, he never wants to come here again. He'll be sweating, red in the face, fists clenched, screaming so loudly it makes the younger kids cry. His teachers say he is a perfect child except for his anger. They, and I are massively working on his emotional regulation. When he's calm we talk about what makes him angry, how it feels, the negative effects of being angry and what he could do to calm down. Occasionally he will remember and take himself off to another room to 'take some deep breaths.' But still it's happening too often and too strongly. He upsets other people by screaming that he hates them, never going to come to their house again etc. I feel like my own parents and siblings don't really like him much because of it. I'm very much of the opinion that I only worry about things that could still be a problem 10 years down the line and this is very much one of those things. PLEASE HELP ME! I'M AT MY WITS END WITH THIS.
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amother
Pearl


 

Post Sun, Feb 21 2021, 11:05 am
I agree that it COULD be a problem in 10 years, but I think if you keep doing what you're doing it won't.

My 12 yo also has a pretty extreme anger response. As he has gotten older and is more able to articulate his feelings, he's gotten better. Not fixed, but definitely better. All those discussions take time to sink in.

Also, using the methods in Ross Greene's book "The Explosive Child" can help you help him notice his own triggers and head them off to begin with.
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imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 21 2021, 11:05 am
Have you heard of Zones of Regulation? It might be a useful tool for you.
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amother
Turquoise


 

Post Sun, Feb 21 2021, 11:24 am
Did he ever read My Friend, the Volcano?
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naturalmom5




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 21 2021, 11:31 am
Could be Asbergers

My son used to be like that until he was on the right anti-anxiety meds
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amother
Natural


 

Post Sun, Feb 21 2021, 12:04 pm
Sounds like a child suffering from generalized anxiety possibly. Great books I like are The Explosive Child and Kids are Worth It.

Any methods that teach anxiety management will help if it is based on that. You or dh or at least one of the grandparents are probably wired that way too.

The right tools through childhood will help prevent problems later. Very do-able.
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amother
Mustard


 

Post Sun, Feb 21 2021, 1:49 pm
It definitely sounds like one of the neurological/processing disorders, like ADD or other brain centered disabilities, which often have a rage component because of brain inflammation. Please have him evaluated by a psychiatrist, ask your pediatrician for a recommendation. There are so many resources nowadays with the right diagnosis, you don't have to suffer alone and afraid for your son... behavioral therapies, OT, speech therapy (helps to manage large emotions), diet and sleep adjustments, supplements, and medications. Don't push it off, get started soon so you can and he can get relief.
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amother
Mustard


 

Post Sun, Feb 21 2021, 1:54 pm
Just want to add that children with brain challenges are often extremely intelligent, creative, and even well behaved in different settings. So don't write off my post by saying "well, he can't have a processing disorder because he does so well in school, or already taught himself the multiplication tables..." It is precisely because he is so smart, but can't apply his logic to the emotion of anger, that this is a red flag for a brain imbalance. Hatzlacha! I know what you are going through.
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amother
Plum


 

Post Sun, Feb 21 2021, 2:55 pm
Swab for strep...bloodwork for lyme, bartonella and strep....
Pandas rages are legendary.
Watch my kid is not crazy on amazon prime and see if anything sounds or looks familiar.
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amother
Puce


 

Post Sun, Feb 21 2021, 5:54 pm
Rages to that degree in a child are neurological, not emotional. There are so many things that can cause this. When my kids start flying off the handle like that I know it’s strep. Long term strep treatment along with gut healing has helped more than anything here. Bartonella is also classic for rages. Diet is also a huge factor, dairy, gluten, sugar, dyes and glutamate are common culprits. For this family corn was a huge culprit https://deeprootsathome.com/th.....sion/ . Addressing root causes will get you a lot further than any therapeutic methods can.
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