When there are not enough tables

amother

Sun, Feb 21 2021, 3:19 pm

Went to an event for families (mostly adults but there were some kids) with a buffet set up. There were lots of empty chairs available but every table had at least a few people already. Whenever I tried to sit at a table I was told my seat was reserved for someone else (usually for a kid who was running around). I finally just took a chair and went into the hallway to sit down. I felt stupid, like I don’t belong. I ended up leaving early. In the reverse, I would have made room for someone else to sit down, especially for just one person. Maybe I’m over sensitive but I don’t have the heart to turn people away.

amother

Oak

Sun, Feb 21 2021, 3:21 pm

If your in Brooklyn, it’s probably a result of people Not sending in response cards.

watergirl

Sun, Feb 21 2021, 3:24 pm

Thats so rude and uncomfortable.

Was this one of those events where kids are not invited but people bring them anyway? So rude.

amother [ Oak ] wrote:

If your in Brooklyn, it’s probably a result of people Not sending in response cards.

This is in no way just a Brooklyn thing!

amother

Vermilion

Sun, Feb 21 2021, 3:30 pm

If someone sitting right next to me just stood up to wash or use the bathroom, I would say it's reserved.

But if I'm waiting for her and someone else asks for the seat as there are no others; I'm sorry, first come first served. I'd give it to her gladly.

ra_mom

Sun, Feb 21 2021, 3:33 pm

Sounds like a wedding smorgasbord setup, with people expected to stand and move around the room as they eat, come and go. Lots of people, very few tables. These things are always awkward. I am so so sorry that you were put into this situation.

amother

Chartreuse

Sun, Feb 21 2021, 3:44 pm

Op, I have been in that situation before. It is Soooooooooo uncomfortable.... like how many times can I ask if this seat is available and be turned down and just wander around awkwardly???

I don't remember what I did in the end, but I remember the feeling very well.

amother

Papaya

Sun, Feb 21 2021, 3:53 pm

Ive learned to say
“OK”,and just sit down. Usually the person the seat is reserved for never shows. Or another seat becomes available. Or I am ready to get up by the time that person actually does arrive.
If this happens to you again, ignore them.
You don’t reserve seats at simchas, unless the person is actually there and got up to get a drink or go to ladies room, or look for a child. In that case you can see that the glass or cutlery is being used.

dovebird

Sun, Feb 21 2021, 3:54 pm

I’m so sorry ;( that’s so uncomfortable. I’ve had that happen to me, and I sit anyways and say “I’ll get up when they come”. Sometimes they don’t even show up. And most of the time if they do show up there are still other seats available at the table.

thanks

Sun, Feb 21 2021, 4:00 pm

I would just sit down, and say let me know when the person is back. Everyone understands that if they get up, they may lose their seat.

amother

Ecru

Sun, Feb 21 2021, 6:00 pm

I have experienced the same. It's like being back in high school with catty, clique-ish girls. So nasty.

amother

Jade

Sun, Feb 21 2021, 6:02 pm

That’s horrible and truthfully chairs are usually not meant for kids. I would have answered I will get up when they come usually u can pull in another chair.

amother

Ruby

Sun, Feb 21 2021, 6:03 pm

That is rude. I am from brooklyn living in lakewood and whenever I see someone needs a space we move over and make room for another chair. So it's not really about where you live. Some people are very self centered and they don't think past their little bubble. In the future think of them as self centered people, take a chair and move over chairs and add yours to the table. Don't let such people ruin your day, they aren't worth the brain space.

amother

White

Sun, Feb 21 2021, 6:04 pm

I've had the same and it's so so immature and childish. This happens often at small fundraisers/tzedaka events or at a vort. You don't "save" seats for someone that hasn't shown yet, that's rude.
I don't like to say that I'll get up when they come because then I feel even more unwanted.