Question about giving tzedaka

amother

Tue, Feb 23 2021, 12:53 pm

My mom is a widow with a very limited budget. I wouldn't be surprised if she receives support from her community. She has been wearing this shaitel for years now and it is super oxidized and old looking. I know she would love a new one. I myself don't have money but I did sell a whole bunch of clothing and I could use the money to get her a new shaitel.
The issue is that I had earmarked this money that I earned specifically for tzedaka. I also have a brother who is out of work and the money could go to him too, though knowing how with having a family, that money will barely make a dent, it's about 3k.
My question is this: would giving my mom the money for a new shaitel count as tzedaka or would I be breaching my promise?
And even if it did count as tzedaka, do I have more of an obligation to give the money instead to my brother?
I am obsessing because it's not like I usually have what is a huge amount to me to give to others and I just want to make the right decision.

SuperWify

Tue, Feb 23 2021, 1:06 pm

Of course it’s tzedaka! Plus the Torah does say to give charity first to your own family then in your own city ect. So I’d say it’s tzedaka in the highest form actually.

groovy1224

Tue, Feb 23 2021, 1:10 pm

You sound like a very thoughtful daughter and sister. I would think you can buy your mother a nice shaitel for 1500 or less, assuming she wears a shorter style, and give the rest to your brother. I absolutely think that both would qualify as tzedakah, though of course I'm not a rav.

zaq

Tue, Feb 23 2021, 2:49 pm

https://www.theyeshivaworld.co.....irst.)

When it comes to tzedaka, needy relatives take precedence over other needy people, and parents take precedence over other relatives.

zaq

Tue, Feb 23 2021, 3:10 pm

SuperWify wrote:

Of course it’s tzedaka! Plus the Torah does say to give charity first to your own family then in your own city ect. So I’d say it’s tzedaka in the highest form actually.

Only the fifth-highest, according to Rambam. The highest is to enable a person to support himself, e.g. by lending him money to set himself up in business.

Level 8 — Giving grudgingly
Level 7 — Giving less than one should, but cheerfully
Level 6 — Giving after being asked
Level 5 — Giving without being asked
Level 4 — The recipient knows the giver but the giver does not know the recipient
Level 3 — The giver knows the recipient but the recipient does not know the giver
Level 2 — Giver and recipient are unknown to each other
Level 1 — Enabling someone to become self-supporting

Reality

Tue, Feb 23 2021, 4:18 pm

zaq wrote:

You are mixing up two different things. You listed HOW to give tzadaka. We are talking about WHO to give tzadaka first. I think the order is:

1. Family
2. The poor of Yerushalayim
3. The poor of your city
4. Other people/places

tree of life

Tue, Feb 23 2021, 4:31 pm

It's very nice if you to help your family
Just to let you no there are great sheithal gemachs most out donated from people who have work them few months or ones that the cut was not right for them they are really cheap ask around plus fir your brother tell them how much you are giving and want to pay a bill that amount this way it won't get swalled up in there debts

zaq

Tue, Feb 23 2021, 5:48 pm

Reality wrote:

No, I'm not. She said it was the highest level of tzedaka. What you're talking about is the highest priority. They're not the same thing.