Aargh!!!!! I can't cope with my kids with the mess!!!!!

amother

Wed, Feb 24 2021, 2:55 pm

I am just feeling so frustrated and at the end of my tether. I feel like the hours I spent tidying today and yesterday (and all the times past and all the future times) are a complete waste of time! I had the kids rooms neatand before I blink somehow the mattresses end up on the floor, the books across the room, mixed with the clothing that was sorted from the cupboards!! Punch

The sugar that I made the mistake of leaving on the counter, is now across the kitchen. The drink that I gave my toddler for snack got spilt. They had a sandwich that got pulled into pieces and crumbs across the table and floor.
I just can't anymore. Cleaning help doesn't help as it's destroyed within moments and then I'm upset that I wasted the money. My 2 kids are aged 2 and the older one is now almost 4. And yes I know it's the age and yes it's normal but THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT EASIER!
(btw before you jump on dh, he does help a lot (he's currently sweeping up the sugar while I've put myself in timeout) but he's out working most of the day and comes home late, helps gets the kids to bed and then wants to learn once the kids should be in bed.)

amother

Cobalt

Wed, Feb 24 2021, 4:01 pm

Minimize kids clothes and toys. Consider keeping clean clothes in laundry. Follow minimal mom on youtube.

I only do about 50% what she does, it changed our house. Starting now works, pesach cleaning anyway.

amother

Silver

Wed, Feb 24 2021, 4:24 pm

I hear that's frustrating... And I can relate especially about the messes. Not sure you are looking for advice.... But I would reccomend focusing on decluttering. Nothing should be out. Everything should be put away somewhere. Nothing should be in arms reach of your kids that is messy until they have proven that they can be responsible with it ...my kids are not allowed to access markers without me supervising because I know they can draw on the walls....

Of cours this is not a full proof merhid...Spilling is not under this category... there will always be spills...But I guess how did your child access sugar and how can that be prevented in the future... It may mean investing in a cabinet or something but it's money for your welbeing.

Edit: I see it was a mistake you left the sugar out. Of course mistakes happen and it stinks! Sounds like it's not a recurring thing and in combination with everything else it's terrible. Can books be moved higher up so they can't access it ?

Crookshanks

Wed, Feb 24 2021, 4:41 pm

amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:

I just suscribed and wow! She's great. Thanks for this.

mha3484

Wed, Feb 24 2021, 4:47 pm

Its a very hard age. They egg each other on. When my 4 year old was 2 he was very easy going on his own but add in the then 4 year old and they made a huge mess. They pair of them is lethal. Now at 4 and 6 they have mellowed out a lot in the mess making department.

At this age unlike my 10 year old lol they are still much more eager to please and they like helping me or DH. If I tell them they spilled and lets get the vacuum they will do it and do a decent job. If I say lets all clean up magnatiles they dont mind. I think the best thing you can do is just matter of fact when you see a spill or crumbs etc just calmly tell them its clean up time. It teaches them good skills and when they are older they will develop good habits.

amother

Wed, Feb 24 2021, 5:07 pm

Thanks everyone. I feel a bit calmer now and the validation makes me feel better as well.
As a general rule I keep my kitchen locked, unless I'm in there, which does minimise the damage in there.
I will admit I'm not great at being a minimalist. It's something I've been working on. But how and when? I feel so drained all the time. The kids are home whenever I'm home and tidying around them doesn't really work. And by the time it's the evening I'm wiped.
It's sort of like being in water, I'm so busy trying to hold my head above the water, I don't have the strength to actually swim, which would be easier.
If anyone has any practical tips, it would be useful.

mha3484

Wed, Feb 24 2021, 5:14 pm

I use this tip a lot during pesach time and really I should do it all year but I loose my resolve. When I really spend time getting my younger kids room clean and organized I keep the door locked any time they are not asleep. Basically they cant be in there unless they are sleeping. It cuts down on tons of mess. No tracking in food, dumping out drawers etc.

amother

Silver

Wed, Feb 24 2021, 5:40 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

If something is on the counter (or out)ask why? If you can't find a reason put it away!
Lol for months there was a spoon rest on my counter and it wasn't taking up terrible space but no reason either as to why it's there cause I don't use it.... So by a combination of making those decisions you'll see a big difference in your home.

It sounds like your burnt out ... Other things going on ?

amother

Wed, Feb 24 2021, 7:26 pm

amother [ Silver ] wrote:

Yeah, I probably am burnt out. Work is stressful, but at least I feel like I accomplish and feel appreciated for what I do. I think it's a mixture of an accumulation of things and it's just been building. No matter the self care I try (although admittedly it's not much at the moment), it seems never to fill up my bucket.
I feel like I don't have the capacity to think through, do I need it, well then get rid of it. Also where I live there's nowhere to donate things to as they're all closed. So I have a couple of bags sitting in my front room to give away but it just isn't happening. And for a sentimentalist who struggles to get rid of things, the thought of them being given a new home is the only way I feel comfortable enough to be able to take the step.
I think covid has just made everything more difficult, dialed up the stress levels.

amother

Honeydew

Wed, Feb 24 2021, 7:45 pm

I’ve resigned myself and given up. I have no words of comfort. My house is in shambles every day too, and I don’t have a lot of stuff. Dh is great about Keeping his mouth shut. And also Sometimes taking care of the mess.
My old coping strategy was keep everyone out of the house as much as possible. But now with Covid that’s not an option. (Library, pet shop, etc)

mommy3b2c

Wed, Feb 24 2021, 7:53 pm

I can relate but what makes it worse is that 2 of my kids are BIG!! The oldest, age 14, is the worst. His clothing is all over the floor, toys everywhere, Empty snacks and drinks on the floor of his room, he throws tissues on the floor instead of in the garbage... it’s ten times more frustrating because he should know better. I bh, have lots of cleaning help. I wouldn’t manage without.