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How much money do you spend on yourself a week?
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thegiver




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 8:23 pm
cleaning help on myself $52! From savings!
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amother
Lime


 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 8:24 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
[/b]

Perhaps you don’t enjoy the phrase but it is what it is. Perhaps I grew up very wealthy and I am used to the “ finer things in life” and am trying to take a step back without it making me feel deprived but still valuing my budget.


I don't get this.

You like spending money. You want to spend money. Do you have the money to spend? If so - go enjoy.

What is this budget for?
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 8:30 pm
amother [ Cerise ] wrote:
We have a joint account so there is no conflict. I spent $3.50 on poppy seeds and $4 on healthy coconut butter. I choose the menu so my husband trusts me to spend conservatively. I spent today a lot on grass fed meat for the month so I don't need to return to the store. I removed $20 from maaser to give tzedaka. Splurging is spending $12 on new undergarments. Smile I only buy what I need. Not everything I want. I don't have allowance. I am not a child. There is trust. I do overspend on healthy food because this is my culture.

I am happy with little because when you realize all the small blessings u dont feel deprived. Having a home, affording tuition, paying the bills these are all blessings.

I'm trying to ingrain in my kids the same thing. Today when we went grocery shopping I said no to all their requests. Then I said to them these eggs and meat And flour are blessings from Hashem not just the sweets and treats.


Good training and important reminders to remain grateful! Thx
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amother
Wheat


 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 8:30 pm
amother [ Coral ] wrote:
Is he your parent?
It is one thing to sit down together and decide that based on the budget, that you can each spend $xx on extras, or even factoring manicures etc. into the budget, but him giving you an allowance is disturbing and condescending to me.


"Allowance" sounds childlike. Try the word "budget" instead. Responsible and mature sounding.
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allthingsblue




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 8:31 pm
Teal, I'd love to know what you do!
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 8:32 pm
amother [ Lime ] wrote:
I don't get this.

You like spending money. You want to spend money. Do you have the money to spend? If so - go enjoy.

What is this budget for?


A budget is always essential to have in place. No matter how much one can generously depend.
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 8:50 pm
nchr wrote:
Why not? I know so many people living like this and it's much easier. Literally the best thing and you can save from week to week or readdress if problematic but it's so practical. I think it depends on the person.

It really depends if the allowance is strictly for the woman to spend on herself for extras vs having an allowance for all the family’s living expenses.
I know someone who gives his wife 500$ a week strictly for whatever she wants outside of regular expenses. That’s sweet I think.
But an allowance for the entire family’s living expenses is extremely controlling and has you question where the rest of the money is going and why only he can decide how to spend it.
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 8:53 pm
Oh gosh I feel so high maintenance reading this thread. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around this but do people really not buy themselves new clothes ever? How is that possible?
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 8:58 pm
SuperWify wrote:
Oh gosh I feel so high maintenance reading this thread. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around this but do people really not buy themselves new clothes ever? How is that possible?

DH and I are both disorganized and never get around to buying clothes because we both hate clothes shopping. I buckle down and do it once or twice a year for myself. He never does, but fortunately his parents live nearby and MIL is happy to shop for him. I'm not thrifty or even disinterested in clothes, but just lazy and disorganized. DH is thrifty, but his failure to buy clothes is mainly disinterest and knowing MIL will do it eventually.
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 9:02 pm
amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:
DH and I are both disorganized and never get around to buying clothes because we both hate clothes shopping. I buckle down and do it once or twice a year for myself. He never does, but fortunately his parents live nearby and MIL is happy to shop for him. I'm not thrifty or even disinterested in clothes, but just lazy and disorganized. DH is thrifty, but his failure to buy clothes is mainly disinterest and knowing MIL will do it eventually.


I don’t like shopping but I like nice trendy clothes. The answer is called online shopping. Bh I am on top of my returns.

Practically speaking though- what do you wear then?
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 9:07 pm
SuperWify wrote:
I don’t like shopping but I like nice trendy clothes. The answer is called online shopping. Bh I am on top of my returns.

Practically speaking though- what do you wear then?

I have accumulated a number of black, gray, and navy slacks and skirts over the years, along with some boring, mostly solid colored tops and cardigans. I have a navy suit, and a couple of suit dresses with matching jackets for formal appearances. For Shabbos, I have also accumulated some dresses and separates. Many of the things I wear were bought years ago.

Since COVID, I wear comfy pants around the house, as I have been working fully remote. If I have a formal virtual appearance, I put on a blouse and suit jacket over my comfy pants. It's not very exciting, any of it.

I do use online shopping, but I am very bad at returns, so I hate the pressure of making a choice and always put it off.
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amother
Lime


 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 9:21 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
A budget is always essential to have in place. No matter how much one can generously depend.



This didn't answer my question.

If the household budget includes $2,000 of pocket money for you weekly - spend it with joy.

An expense budget is a plan for how to allocate funds. That's all it is.
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SuperWify




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 9:26 pm
amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:
I have accumulated a number of black, gray, and navy slacks and skirts over the years, along with some boring, mostly solid colored tops and cardigans. I have a navy suit, and a couple of suit dresses with matching jackets for formal appearances. For Shabbos, I have also accumulated some dresses and separates. Many of the things I wear were bought years ago.

Since COVID, I wear comfy pants around the house, as I have been working fully remote. If I have a formal virtual appearance, I put on a blouse and suit jacket over my comfy pants. It's not very exciting, any of it.

I do use online shopping, but I am very bad at returns, so I hate the pressure of making a choice and always put it off.


It sounds like you have a very classic taste and have plenty of nice pieces that last plus can I guess that you are past the young mom stage?

for two reasons-
1. You aren't constantly changing sizes and needing new clothes
2. You don’t feel a need to keep up with the trend so this works very well for you!
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amother
Blonde


 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 9:29 pm
This is a bit intense for me. I know based on our income how much I can spend that won’t break the bank. It’s not $104.15
I know how much we’re trying to save so I try not to splurge on myself more than X so we can still put away that amount or close to it. That being said, I really only shop for myself twice a year. I stop into 2 frum store I buy a few weekday and 2 Shabbos for each season and then I’m done. But I occasionally get myself lunch or coffee. I don’t even think about it. I know it’s not making much of a difference one way or another...
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silverlining3




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 9:32 pm
Really depends on a week and what I need.

Could be makeup, breakfast-lunch-and/or dinner, stockings, clothing, spa services, perfumes, wash n set sheitels, jewelry, a goody, sudoku puzzles book 😂 you name it. Some weeks I don't spend anything on myself.

I am subscribed to a weekly magazine. But it comes out to pennies.

No assigned amount. I don't like to swipe a credit card but always have it on me for your case scenarios. It's either cash or debit.

Once before I started working our cc bill has accumulated to a nice amount, my husband jokingly was like, yeye, cuz you don't work. The next month (when I was working already) it was a bit higher than the month before, I'm like, ya, but I work. He was laughing.
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amother
Seafoam


 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 9:35 pm
I don't money on myself weekly or monthly. It's as needed.

Makeup from Wal-Mart when my lipstick, mascara, etc. run out, which is about 3 times a year.
Clothing - when I don't have anything decent or my size to wear, I try stores like TJ Maxx/Kohls/Macy's about three times a year,
Or when we're in Lakewood Wink about once every 2 years, I'll stock up. Like I visited Lakewood this year and bought three black skirts, two weekday tops, and a shabbos top. That was a tremendous amount of shopping!!!
Underwear when needed.
About 12-18 new pairs of tights per year (6-12 summer, and same for winter)

No eating out
No cleaning help
No sheitel maintenance (I do my own besides for when I'm going to a close family simcha, about once every two years)

I wasn't raised with spending money unless you needed to.

Maybe I'm a bit too much if a martyr for my own good
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amother
Cerulean


 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 9:36 pm
SuperWify wrote:
It sounds like you have a very classic taste and have plenty of nice pieces that last plus can I guess that you are past the young mom stage?

for two reasons-
1. You aren't constantly changing sizes and needing new clothes
2. You don’t feel a need to keep up with the trend so this works very well for you!

I am an old mom I guess LOL 38 and pregnant again.

I have done some size changing in the past, so I have clothes in sizes 8 and 10, though not duplicates of everything. And also some maternity. I am also not above wearing the size 10 clothes even when I'm actually an 8, especially with tops. But yeah it is good enough for me. I'd love to be more stylish if a fairy godmother came and styled me in my sleep. But I won't actually make the effort myself.
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amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 9:41 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
So how do you go about spending on your needs. Is it just swipe ?


We have a joint account. So does everyone else I know. But if you’re a big spender maybe that’s why your dh wants another arrangement?
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amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 9:48 pm
nchr wrote:
I edited my post to fix that.
No, it isn't required to have an allowance but its ok if a couple feels it works for them. It doesnt need to ve degraded.


You’ve said before that you think a wife should stand up for her dh, so maybe that’s why a more subservient set up works for you. In my view a wife and dh are equals.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 9:51 pm
Not much. I used to get massages fairly often before the pandemic. Buy myself lunch or a treat every once in a while but can’t remember the last time. Can’t remember the last time I bought clothing
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