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How to get “chart behavior” to become permanent



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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Feb 10 2021, 11:31 pm
I have an eight yr old who thrives on charts. I recently made him a chart of very basic things like put your clothing in hamper; throw out breakfast bowl hang up coat etc. chart was for thirty days and he didn’t miss a day. Chart finished and clothing are back on floor. Is there any trick to have these become habits other than constantly reminding?
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amother
Bisque


 

Post Wed, Feb 10 2021, 11:46 pm
Longer term charts without reminding in the meantime.
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trixx




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 11 2021, 12:16 am
The title is hurting me. Chart behavior by definition won't become permanent bc it's done for the chart. If what works for him is the visual reminder then just hang up visual schedule flashcards either to look at or some kind of interactive way (velcro a check mark when done) to mark off what he's up to.
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behappy2




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 11 2021, 8:18 am
You don't need to stop the chart. 2 instances I currently use rewards. 1-child needs excess motivation 2-mommy doesn't have strength to discipline at this time both of these I use till forever.

Another reason-get kid over the hump and learn to do this (learn to get self dressed) then I do short term
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thegiver




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 8:53 pm
Habit kicks in when reward is removed. It's not a habit yet. Keep going.
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NotInNJMommy




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 9:44 pm
Also, some people need visual reminders. It's how they stay focused and on task. If that's a tool that works for him, great. Graduate to it being a reminder that he just uses. It's ok to keep rewarding appropriately, and as he matures, to phase that out to intangible rewards, like saying you're proud of him or helping him feel proud of himself.
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 10:45 pm
He does not need visual reminders to do things. If I made him a sign by his bed it would make no difference. He is motivated because he wants that prize at the end of the chart. I guess I will just keep making these charts.
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amother
Goldenrod


 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 10:59 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
He does not need visual reminders to do things. If I made him a sign by his bed it would make no difference. He is motivated because he wants that prize at the end of the chart. I guess I will just keep making these charts.

You can stretch them out longer. Like, a longer period of time or needing to earn more stars. To slowly build up his "stamina" and gratification wait time.
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Feb 24 2021, 11:12 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
He does not need visual reminders to do things. If I made him a sign by his bed it would make no difference. He is motivated because he wants that prize at the end of the chart. I guess I will just keep making these charts.

Will you let his wife know she has to do charts for him?
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amother
Chartreuse


 

Post Thu, Feb 25 2021, 12:30 am
This is the problem with charts. The child will also start to believe he doesn’t need to do anything unless he gets something in return.
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amother
Bisque


 

Post Thu, Feb 25 2021, 1:54 am
Habit-based behavior can be strengthened with a reward system. It just takes longer than one chart.
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amother
Puce


 

Post Thu, Feb 25 2021, 4:58 am
amother [ Bisque ] wrote:
Habit-based behavior can be strengthened with a reward system. It just takes longer than one chart.


This! All kids need reminders to some extent.

If a child has challenges with executive functioning, etc. because that's how their brain is wired, they may need these reminders (and some rewards) longer than others to establish the habit.

I have 2 children with these challenges, 1 with ASD and 1 with ADHD. As they've matured into their teens, they've gotten their own routines, etc. and become more proactive and self sufficient in managing getting things done. ie getting ready for school in the morning, keeping track of class materials, etc. They struggled in school when they were younger with recommendations to have charts but the teachers never stuck it out longer than a month. For better or worse, they had teachers who loved their job, but weren't necessarily appropriately trained to understand that some things were needed long haul (even if the immediately gratification of reward was stretched out). My children's brains weren't going to change-they will always need these types of supports. The reality is that as they would grow, they would be able to self support and self regulate if given the tools (and habits of tools) growing up.

They do still need some help. My child with ADHD has learned to make herself a plan in advance of a task that takes some organization (cleaning her closet in disarray). My child with ASD needs more suggestions of how to break up a task like cleaning his room into steps, or it will not get done. And I know this is because it's hard for him to get his head organized enough to attack the task. He's not being lazy or disobedient. He's overwhelmed.

I'm 40+, and do not have developmental delays, ADHD, etc. and I too have learned when having lists, or routines, etc. will help me. Obviously, I'm an adult and I make the lists/routines for myself when I need them, and I may or may not reward myself (usually, I'm sufficiently "rewarded" by the good feeling that the complex task or list of many things is just done). Maybe I also could have needed charts, etc. growing up, but I went to very organized schools with very organized teachers and had very organized parents and a stable routine, schedule, so I was at a better advantage as my environment didn't present the challenges my own children face. (I am organized and thrive on routine, but their father (we're divorced) does not so much, and their school is a bit hefker and on wheels at times.)
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Thu, Feb 25 2021, 5:54 am
Who was responsible for the chart?
Did he remind you to fill the chart or vice versa
He needs to be responsible for the chart
Also the prize needs to be worth it
Perhaps 30 days is too long and not worth the effort
I would do a weekly allowance and let him earn his prize


And for those that say thats bribery and he’s only working for the prize
Would you work for 0 salary
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amother
Coffee


 

Post Thu, Feb 25 2021, 8:45 am
amother [ Puce ] wrote:
If a child has challenges with executive functioning, etc. because that's how their brain is wired, they may need these reminders (and some rewards) longer than others to establish the habit.
This. Op, does this child struggle with executive functioning? Or are they just not interested in cooperating?
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amother
Coffee


 

Post Thu, Feb 25 2021, 8:48 am
amother [ Khaki ] wrote:
And for those that say thats bribery and he’s only working for the prize
Would you work for 0 salary
We all have responsibilities that we need to do for intrinsic rewards. As in, if you don’t put your clothes in the hamper then you won’t have clean clothes to wear, and if you leave your coat on the floor it will get stepped on and may rip. This child is old enough to understand that. If he struggles with executive functioning he may need the extra motivation to help him stick with it. Otherwise, nope. It’s time to grow up and do the right thing.
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Feb 25 2021, 9:03 am
amother [ Khaki ] wrote:
Who was responsible for the chart?
Did he remind you to fill the chart or vice versa
He needs to be responsible for the chart
Also the prize needs to be worth it
Perhaps 30 days is too long and not worth the effort
I would do a weekly allowance and let him earn his prize


And for those that say thats bribery and he’s only working for the prize
Would you work for 0 salary

So you don’t shower unless you get paid?
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