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Forum
-> Shopping
amother
Pumpkin
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Wed, Feb 24 2021, 10:00 pm
It’s funny, I was recently thinking about this.
I couldn’t decide between 2 shabbos shoe colors for my dd so I decided to buy both ( they were $50 each)
I felt very embarrassed that I indulged like that, it isn’t really my type. ( it’s only for me she is too young to care).
And then I rationalized that if we make enough a month, I can splurge a bit. Even if generally I live rather simply.
So it all depends on what percentage of your income you want to spend on yourself.
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amother
Emerald
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Wed, Feb 24 2021, 10:10 pm
No matter how much I spend, I feel guilty about it.
Stahm and my husband works hard..
I am frugal at the grocery but then my husband goes and spends more.
Never did a manicure
Never had cleaning help
Do my own waxing
Wash my shaitel myself
But occasionally spent on adding baby hair, or new rows to an existing wig.
Recently started sewing, so no more $ on alterations. But I do need to buy threads, bobbins, needles, fabric, etc...
I shop in thrift shop. Beautiful things. Sometimes I shop in Target or Zara...here and there Ill but a new makeup or moisturizer but I always feel guilty spending..
I treat myself with stuff for the house. New curtains, organizers, shelves, second hand furniture. I always find a new gadget for my kitchen. I also live getting stuff for my kids
I recently spent on my glasses. I bought one but didnt like it, so I bought another..it was a splurge for me.
Live in Monsey, so taxis add up, as I tend to go out alot.
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amother
Rose
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Wed, Feb 24 2021, 11:12 pm
Not much because most things that cost big money are not things I'm interested in. Don't wear makeup or nail polish, not interested in fashion (to whoever suggested it has to do with being a younger vs older mom, I'm in my early 30s and still very much in the little kid stage of life, not done having kids yet). I care more about having time to myself than buying things. If I have enough time to do my own thing, I'm happy and consider that my splurge. Two things I spend on are books and cute little fandom tzochkes. The reason I buy books instead of going to the library is that I don't like the pressure of having to keep track of the books, make sure they get returned on time etc. So I guess that's my splurge. I'm essentially buying the convenience of not having to worry about loss, damage, or just reading it before a deadline.
As for how, dh and I share finances and there's no such thing as allowing or permission. Granted, as a courtesy, any purchase above a certain amount is something we discuss together. It's not a permission thing more of a, hey this number is big for us, so it requires more thought and making sure there isn't something else more important going on. Also, that number has changed over the years. Much smaller as newlyweds, now rather larger as our income has grown.
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SuperWify
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Wed, Feb 24 2021, 11:19 pm
amother [ Cerulean ] wrote: | I am an old mom I guess 38 and pregnant again.
I have done some size changing in the past, so I have clothes in sizes 8 and 10, though not duplicates of everything. And also some maternity. I am also not above wearing the size 10 clothes even when I'm actually an 8, especially with tops. But yeah it is good enough for me. I'd love to be more stylish if a fairy godmother came and styled me in my sleep. But I won't actually make the effort myself. |
Oh wow bshaah Tovah! I’m impressed though! I can’t imagine going through the whole maternity and then postpartum stage without needing any new clothes! Being so many different sizes in one year is tough and expensive. I definitely would not survive with my old stuff.
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SuperWify
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Wed, Feb 24 2021, 11:22 pm
amother [ Rose ] wrote: | Not much because most things that cost big money are not things I'm interested in. Don't wear makeup or nail polish, not interested in fashion (to whoever suggested it has to do with being a younger vs older mom, I'm in my early 30s and still very much in the little kid stage of life, not done having kids yet). I care more about having time to myself than buying things. If I have enough time to do my own thing, I'm happy and consider that my splurge. Two things I spend on are books and cute little fandom tzochkes. The reason I buy books instead of going to the library is that I don't like the pressure of having to keep track of the books, make sure they get returned on time etc. So I guess that's my splurge. I'm essentially buying the convenience of not having to worry about loss, damage, or just reading it before a deadline.
As for how, dh and I share finances and there's no such thing as allowing or permission. Granted, as a courtesy, any purchase above a certain amount is something we discuss together. It's not a permission thing more of a, hey this number is big for us, so it requires more thought and making sure there isn't something else more important going on. Also, that number has changed over the years. Much smaller as newlyweds, now rather larger as our income has grown. |
I said because of the constant size changes due to pregnancies and also because younger people tend to care about fashion more then older people. Obviously there are exceptions to the rules. Like you for example.
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amother
Mauve
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Thu, Feb 25 2021, 6:56 am
Wow. I feel like I live in the most self indulgent community in the world.
It’s very standard where I live to always be 1.manicured and pedicured (1 pedicure and 2 gel manicures a month)
2. Have a personal trainer/ gym membership/yoga classes/ boxing/Zumba
3.Botox (most women over 30 do some form of Botox)
4. Facials are not as common. But fairly common. I have had 1 this past year. Thanks maskne.
5. Sheitals washed every 5-6 weeks
6. Haircuts/color/treatment. Many women I know dye their hair under the wigs and still get it professionally cut.
7. Waxing.
But there are some women I know who are always incredibly groomed.
Like tinted eyebrow. Eyelash extensions/ spray tans plus more skin treatments.
Fully lasered.
I don’t understand how people don’t ever buy clothes.
My size completely changed after my last baby including shoe size.
In the last month I have brought a bra (expensive) stockings (for the year-very expensive)
A sweatshirt from Target. (My other one was gross)
2 pairs of underwear. (Need more. Other pairs are gross)
A pair of Birkenstock’s (old ones were 10+ years old and falling apart)
A huge bag to travel with.
A dress and 2 belts and 2 shirts on the Zara sale
(Feel like that was more then a month ago though. Can’t remember)
I sometimes meet friends for coffees
And once a month Pre covid a group of friends went out for dinner.
I work hard and Bh we are financially comfortable.
Th first ten years of my marriage we were extremely financially limited and I still feel like my clothing is from before I got married and doesn’t fit me Or is stained and with holes and if It does it’s very dated.)
Where are all the people I know who spend way more money than most of these people responding on this thread.
If seems like I am this luxury loving girl here; and if you knew me in real life. I’m simple simple. Not fancy. Bag from target. Wardrobe from Zara and H&M.
My sheital is 2 years old. It’s simple.
I’m really intrigued by all these I never spend money on myself threads.
I also buy mascara from the drugstore every theee months. A high end foundation once a year. And a lipstick every Pesach. And random makeup as needed.
But I have friends who are fully kitted out in high end makeup.
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amother
Seagreen
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Thu, Feb 25 2021, 7:18 am
I have my same boots from 11th grade. I wear most clothing from my shtefir which is more traditionaland classy. I have one set of maternity, some of which I bought as part of my shtefir but the first set of which my parents bought after my wedding. I'm generally about the same size, with a size up or down and my mother bought us clothes that way. I buy shoes every other year. I have bought one coat since I got married 10 years ago. I buy a shaitel usually when a sibling gets married so every about every 1 or 2 years and my shaitels are only around $400. I don't consider a shaitel to be spending on me though I do consider buying a new hat to be. I hate spending on hats but that does need to be updated so I don't look ridiculously old fashioned. My mother is this type to not spend money so most of the children are but I have a sister or two who like the new styles so I usually take things they get rid of at end of season but I don't love trendy things. It's a personality. We don't wear makeup so no expense there. I mean maybe I buy myself a smoothie a few times a year?
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bsy
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Thu, Feb 25 2021, 8:09 am
SuperWify wrote: | I don’t like shopping but I like nice trendy clothes. The answer is called online shopping. Bh I am on top of my returns.
Practically speaking though- what do you wear then? |
I wear the things in my closet. Some are 2 years old and some are 10. I dont care. Nothing is expressly nerdy but I'm not trendy. I dont follow trends and I think fashion is dumb. I really feel like buying the latest clothes and shoes, only to replace them in a year or 2, is a waste of time.
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mommy3b2c
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Thu, Feb 25 2021, 8:21 am
amother [ Mauve ] wrote: | Wow. I feel like I live in the most self indulgent community in the world.
It’s very standard where I live to always be 1.manicured and pedicured (1 pedicure and 2 gel manicures a month)
2. Have a personal trainer/ gym membership/yoga classes/ boxing/Zumba
3.Botox (most women over 30 do some form of Botox)
4. Facials are not as common. But fairly common. I have had 1 this past year. Thanks maskne.
5. Sheitals washed every 5-6 weeks
6. Haircuts/color/treatment. Many women I know dye their hair under the wigs and still get it professionally cut.
7. Waxing.
But there are some women I know who are always incredibly groomed.
Like tinted eyebrow. Eyelash extensions/ spray tans plus more skin treatments.
Fully lasered.
I don’t understand how people don’t ever buy clothes.
My size completely changed after my last baby including shoe size.
In the last month I have brought a bra (expensive) stockings (for the year-very expensive)
A sweatshirt from Target. (My other one was gross)
2 pairs of underwear. (Need more. Other pairs are gross)
A pair of Birkenstock’s (old ones were 10+ years old and falling apart)
A huge bag to travel with.
A dress and 2 belts and 2 shirts on the Zara sale
(Feel like that was more then a month ago though. Can’t remember)
I sometimes meet friends for coffees
And once a month Pre covid a group of friends went out for dinner.
I work hard and Bh we are financially comfortable.
Th first ten years of my marriage we were extremely financially limited and I still feel like my clothing is from before I got married and doesn’t fit me Or is stained and with holes and if It does it’s very dated.)
Where are all the people I know who spend way more money than most of these people responding on this thread.
If seems like I am this luxury loving girl here; and if you knew me in real life. I’m simple simple. Not fancy. Bag from target. Wardrobe from Zara and H&M.
My sheital is 2 years old. It’s simple.
I’m really intrigued by all these I never spend money on myself threads.
I also buy mascara from the drugstore every theee months. A high end foundation once a year. And a lipstick every Pesach. And random makeup as needed.
But I have friends who are fully kitted out in high end makeup. |
All the things you mentioned are normal in my world too. Except the Botox. I’m over 30 and I can’t imagine that... but maybe other people are doing it and I just don’t know.
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amother
Pumpkin
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Thu, Feb 25 2021, 8:23 am
Now that I thought into it....
Just remembered that I pay for a personal trainer.
I buy lunch sometimes. ( esp. now that I’m pregnant)
I rarely buy clothes but I guess it does add up throughout the year.
Shaitel washing
Waxing
No mani pedi - just don’t enjoy.
Cleaning lady
Sending my 2.5 year old to playgroup is my luxury I guess.
Probably there’s more.... that I’m forgetting...
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amother
Lime
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Thu, Feb 25 2021, 8:35 am
amother [ Mauve ] wrote: |
I’m really intrigued by all these I never spend money on myself threads.
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I wrote that I don't spend on myself weekly.
Of course I buy myself clothes when I need clothes. That's a basic cost of living (yes there are alternatives, but wearing store bought new clothes is a norm).
But ya - my lifestyle (by choice, by community) doesn't include many personal services. (paying people to do my nails, make my lunch, make my coffee, show me how to work-out). Again - my choice.
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Crookshanks
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Thu, Feb 25 2021, 9:37 am
This is really interesting. My husband and I both have access to our joint checking and savings accounts. I also have a personal account where I transfer $100 a month for personal things. That could include coffee, lunch, sushi, manicures, accessories I don't really need, gifts for other people, etc. I use our money for everything else-my wardrobe in the beginning of each season, the first few pairs of shoes I buy per season, food shopping, Target, Walmart, etc. For example, when I buy some new spring makeup before Pesach, that's regular money. Same with my Pesach wardrobe (generally about 2k per season).
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Crookshanks
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Thu, Feb 25 2021, 9:40 am
SuperWify wrote: | Oh gosh I feel so high maintenance reading this thread. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around this but do people really not buy themselves new clothes ever? How is that possible? |
I'm around your age and stage-I generally lose count but between Shabbos robes, Shabbos and weekday clothing, tights, underwear, bras, socks, shoes, boots, outerwear and accessories I spend 2,000 per season (Pesach and Sukkos). I just got married and my husband is slightly scarred. And I wear in style but not trendy things (Primark, H and M, Target, some from Junee and BSW).
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Java
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Thu, Feb 25 2021, 9:47 am
Crookshanks wrote: | I'm around your age and stage-I generally lose count but between Shabbos robes, Shabbos and weekday clothing, tights, underwear, bras, socks, shoes, boots, outerwear and accessories I spend 2,000 per season (Pesach and Sukkos). I just got married and my husband is slightly scarred. And I wear in style but not trendy things (Primark, H and M, Target, some from Junee and BSW). |
Wow that sounds like a lot!! (Then again I'm an out of towner lol.) Do you really buy new tights, underwear, socks, shoes, boots,outerwear and accessories every season? Those generally last me year to year
Even a lot of my shabbos outfits usually last
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Crookshanks
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Thu, Feb 25 2021, 9:58 am
cutestbaby wrote: | Wow that sounds like a lot!! (Then again I'm an out of towner lol.) Do you really buy new tights, underwear, socks, shoes, boots,outerwear and accessories every season? Those generally last me year to year
Even a lot of my shabbos outfits usually last |
New tights-I keep whatever's in good condition and buy to supplement.
New underwear-I think mine are going on three or four years by now.
Socks-I buy a pack of short socks probably ever one/two years. I otherwise don't really wear socks.
Shoes-new Shabbos and weekday every season. Slippers, sneakers, booties...I don't always buy every season, but they do add up.
Outerwear-I wear coats usually one or two years.
Accessories mean clips for shaitels, pocket books and bags... I impulse purchase buy accessories and I occasionally buy new bags (again seasonally).
I buy new clothes always but save what I like season to season (more winter than summer because those are better quality and last longer). I also wear my black skirts winter and summer for several years straight...
Robes generally last for years.
Anything else?
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Java
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Thu, Feb 25 2021, 10:18 am
Crookshanks wrote: | New tights-I keep whatever's in good condition and buy to supplement.
New underwear-I think mine are going on three or four years by now.
Socks-I buy a pack of short socks probably ever one/two years. I otherwise don't really wear socks.
Shoes-new Shabbos and weekday every season. Slippers, sneakers, booties...I don't always buy every season, but they do add up.
Outerwear-I wear coats usually one or two years.
Accessories mean clips for shaitels, pocket books and bags... I impulse purchase buy accessories and I occasionally buy new bags (again seasonally).
I buy new clothes always but save what I like season to season (more winter than summer because those are better quality and last longer). I also wear my black skirts winter and summer for several years straight...
Robes generally last for years.
Anything else? |
Still how does it add up to 2k?? Unless you shop only in Jewish fancy stores
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amother
Ruby
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Thu, Feb 25 2021, 10:30 am
mommy3b2c wrote: | All the things you mentioned are normal in my world too. Except the Botox. I’m over 30 and I can’t imagine that... but maybe other people are doing it and I just don’t know. |
You just don’t know lol. I’m 35 in Lakewood. I do Botox. Probably spend $2000 a season on clothing for myself, couple of hundred dollars on makeup, I eat out 2-3 times per week...
Can’t think of what else but I’m sure there’s more
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mig100
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Thu, Feb 25 2021, 10:35 am
amother [ Ruby ] wrote: | You just don’t know lol. I’m 35 in Lakewood. I do Botox. Probably spend $2000 a season on clothing for myself, couple of hundred dollars on makeup, I eat out 2-3 times per week...
Can’t think of what else but I’m sure there’s more |
thanks for being honest. it makes the conversation more interesting
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amother
Ruby
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Thu, Feb 25 2021, 10:37 am
mig100 wrote: | thanks for being honest. it makes the conversation more interesting |
Haha - I figured I’ll be honest since everyone else doesn’t spend a dime
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doodlesmom
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Thu, Feb 25 2021, 10:42 am
To all those who don’t spend anything on themselves. What do you spend on? Do you have lots of money saved up?
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