Need help davening as a new mom!

amother

Sat, Feb 27 2021, 8:50 pm

Hi, bh my baby is 5 weeks old.

I kept hearing how purim is such an important day for davening and tehillim etc. I was watching my baby the whole time. In between feeding her, putting her to sleep, packing up my MM, I didnt have time to daven shemonei esrei. I davened out loud for chava bas chaya sarah and all the agunot (ive been following dalia oziels story...) but I didnt actually daven tehillim or a shemonei esrei. friday morning my husband wasnt home and it was just me and the baby at home. im having such a hard time going places with her and planning my day so I just made it to hear meggilah reading bc I had a friend watch my baby for an hour (and felt guilty the whole time and worried she was kvetchy).

I find this trickles down to my week. before I had my baby I was so makpid to not eat before brachos, would bentch from a siddur, always davened mincha and kabbalas shabbos....now I wake up and quickly eat before my baby eats and I dont say brachos, I wash and have a sandwich and as im about to bentch my baby wakes up crying, as soon as I light before shabbos my baby wakes up and im running to change her, feed her and then its too late to daven mincha....

s/o told me the halachos for davening are diff. for a kimpeturin. whats the basic gist of davening halachos for a kimpeturim?

any chizuk on how to feel hashem more in my life? I feel like I can go days without talkign to Him bc im so overwhelmed with life!

SuperWify

Sat, Feb 27 2021, 8:53 pm

There is a reason why women are patur from tefillah. We’re taking care of Hashem’s children. Try to daven brachos first thing in the morning and shema if you have time. Speak to Him during the day as if He was your friend and listening ear.

amother

Sapphire

Sat, Feb 27 2021, 9:10 pm

Talk to your rav for details, but you can say most of davening while you're nursing, if you get to the point where it's more automatic and you don't have to focus on it too much. I was told I could say everything but shemoneh esrei. I usually didn't get there, but said brachos and ashrei.

It's a big adjustment. You become a different person in so many ways. You'll get there, but it takes time.

Frumme

Sat, Feb 27 2021, 9:13 pm

Honey. You doing all of those things for your child is a mitzvah! You are occupied with a mitzvah! That's what Hashem wants of you right now.

As your baby grows, you'll figure it out more and more. But for now, you do what you can. You eat breakfast and then sing brachos to your child out loud! You bentch with not a siddur in your hands but your child instead. Sit in your rocking chair and daven/say tehillim while nursing (just pop her off for shemonah esrei). Trim your davening to the essentials. Dance kabbalos shabbos with your baby. Babywear her while you light shabbos candles. You've got this, mama! Smile

(As a side note, if you did mincha consistently and didn't preface mentally that you weren't taking it on as an every day thing, you may need to speak to a rav if you need to break a vow)

missmuffetsmum

Sat, Feb 27 2021, 10:02 pm

I get you! Just do your best, take advantage of the few minutes you have at any point of the day to daven SOMETHING. Especially helpful not to wait until close to shkiah for mincha - try find out the earliest time you can daven as opposed to the latest.
I found it really hard with my newborn, it got easier at some point for a while, but impossible again as DD reached toddlerhood. I usually manage brachos in the am, mincha in the afternoon and I sing kabbalas Shabbos as she 'dances'.
Re brachos, maybe prepare your breakfast and DD's bottle, say brachos as she begins her feed and then eat your food?

amother

Chocolate

Sat, Feb 27 2021, 10:39 pm

Ever since my oldest was born, I only daven brachos (except for rosh hashana, yom kippur, and sometimes purim when I try to get something else in- but only when kids are sleeping or my husband is watching them etc). Please talk to your rav and find out what is your obligation and what is not. Obviously if you really want to daven more than your obligation, of course you can try to work it out. But without the pressure!
And you can talk to Hashem all day in your own words!

PinkFridge

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 8:47 am

Dovid Hamelech said, Va'ani tefilasi. Sometimes we can't get the words out but with our lives we express our connection to Hashem.
These are the years of "Reader's Digest" davening, brachos, shema, and shema esrei (at some point in the day, if possible) or whatever your rav says. (There's a sefer Rigshei Lev that talks about prioritizing in davening.) Informal prayer is prayer.
Mazel tov!