Do you give MM to men? and DH to women? (if not home)

amother

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 12:47 pm

Is there a problem with you giving mishloach manot to dh's friend if dh isn't home, or if dh gives to one of your friends if you're not home? or ds giving to one of dd's friend if dd wasn't home when her friend came or dd to ds's friend? If you're yeshivish, what do you do in these situations?

mommy3b2c

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 12:49 pm

In what way can this be a problem?

Last edited by mommy3b2c on Sun, Feb 28 2021, 12:50 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Magenta

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 12:50 pm

I give it to him, no problem. It’s technically from my husband and I’m his shaliach.

Shabbosiscoming

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 12:50 pm

In the situation you posted, I would give it and say "this is from DH," as an example.

amother

Cobalt

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 12:50 pm

DH and I will accept from/hand over to in these situations if the other is not around. We are yeshivish.

Rappel

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 12:56 pm

Yalkut Yosef says ideal to put it down rather than hand it directly (looks like kiddushin), but you can as you choose.

amother

Seafoam

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 2:09 pm

Dh and I give to families and as a family, not individuals. So even if we're giving to a single friend of mine or his, we're giving as a unit. So no issues.

amother

Babypink

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 2:13 pm

I'm chassidish. If DH friend comes when he's not home, I give him a shalach manos, and vice versa. I never thought it's an issue. We give from the family.

amother

Scarlet

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 2:41 pm

My husband goes to give out MM. if a woman answers the door he certainly gives it to her. We are far from yeshivish but I didn’t realize this was an issue is some communities

amother

Tangerine

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 2:53 pm

amother [ Scarlet ] wrote:

. We are far from yeshivish but I didn’t realize this was an issue is some communities

Its not.
Im yeshivish, have never encountered this situation

Simple1

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 2:55 pm

You can give and accept as a shaliach.

naturalmom5

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 5:03 pm

Rappel wrote:

Yalkut Yosef says ideal to put it down rather than hand it directly (looks like kiddushin), but you can as you choose.

When faced with poskining halacha from random obscure seforim or asking a Rov
I always choose the former... Mad

amother

Cerulean

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 5:06 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

When faced with poskining halacha from random obscure seforim or asking a Rov
I always choose the former... Mad

Have you asked a rav.
Dh always gives his boss. The year his boss was in aveilus my DH was told by our rav he cannot give the wife instead.

(The Sefer is based on the teaching of rav avadia Yosef. Definitely not obscure. We asked a yeshivish litvish rav)

amother

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 5:51 pm

Rappel wrote:

Yalkut Yosef says ideal to put it down rather than hand it directly (looks like kiddushin), but you can as you choose.

Who is the yalkut yosef?

amother

Puce

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 5:55 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Who is the yalkut yosef?

Yalkut Yosef isn't a "random, obscure" source as someone up thread called it. It's piskai halacha from Rav Ovadia, generally followed by yeshivishe american Sephardim.

amother

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 6:00 pm

amother [ Puce ] wrote:

Yalkut Yosef isn't a "random, obscure" source as someone up thread called it. It's piskai halacha from Rav Ovadia, generally followed by yeshivishe american Sephardim.

I didn't specify, but what about Ashkenazic poskim?

naturalmom5

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 6:02 pm

I was told that even though I can purchase an english M Brura and understand it perfectly its still preferable to ask a Rov

amother

Salmon

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 6:31 pm

amother [ Cerulean ] wrote:

Exactly. Yalkut Yosef is a very mainsteam sefer to a lot of Sefardim- not at all random or obscure.

Woman of Valor

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 7:09 pm

It is not appropriate for men and women to gift each other, it is a halachic problem. However to give from the family, or to a family is fine.