Did your dh get drunk purim?

amother

Lime

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 7:35 am

amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:

In America the term "high" refers to drugs, not alcohol.

In some frum communities it’s often used for slightly drunk, or just on a high with happiness. I hear it used all the time by many ppl never referring to drugs.

PeanutMama

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 9:58 am

Last year my husband was horribly drunk, made the worst mistake by mixing stuff into one bottle, drinking nearly half of it (he drank from one of the glass bottles that Kedem grape juice comes in), then spending the rest of the day in the bathroom puking his guts out.
I came home from shul with my son to music blaring in our apartment and my husband opened the door already drunk, and he was so loud.
It really terrified me. I spent the rest of the Purim crying and taking care of my son and eating the seuda alone and rinsing off the bathtub.

After he sobered up like at 7 or 8 he told me remind me next Purim not to get drunk again.

And oh boy I NAGGED him this year.

He did not drink this Purim BH BH BH BH.

Even with our first Purim together married I also asked him to please not to drink so much.

He got tipsy that first Purim.

I’m actually terrified of drunk people. I hope I’m not alone. It just brings up memories I don’t wanna remember.

I know it’s a mitzvah to drink on Purim....

amother

Aubergine

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 10:34 am

Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:

He got tipsy that first Purim.

I’m actually terrified of drunk people. I hope I’m not alone. It just brings up memories I don’t wanna remember.

I know it’s a mitzvah to drink on Purim....

I actually davened as a young girl that my husband shouldn’t like to get drunk after a neighbor came running up holding 2 kids and asked if we can keep them until the end of the day cuz her husband came home screaming and yelling and vomiting all over. ( This was a man that was usually so calm quiet and refined)
Bh my husband gets stomach pain from even a few sips of wine so we never drink in our house. At most once or twice a year we’ll buy moscato d’asti which most people call soda. And Bh so far my teenagers don’t drink either. I’m extra thankful for all this.

amother

Salmon

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 11:23 am

amother [ Oak ] wrote:

My DH didn’t drink at all on Purim. Is this OK? Should I be concerned about his frumkeit and his taking mitzvos seriously?

Lol my husband doesn’t drink either and I think his observance level is alright

amother

Goldenrod

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 11:54 am

amother [ Lime ] wrote:

In some frum communities it’s often used for slightly drunk, or just on a high with happiness. I hear it used all the time by many ppl never referring to drugs.

No biggie. I just thought people might want to know the proper use of the term in America outside of frum circles. Sunny

(Especially since in most states getting drunk is legal and getting high is not.)

amother

Tangerine

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 12:02 pm

couple of beers around/with seuda, I made sure to "surprise" him with a big caffeinated soda and irresistable nosh in the afternoon to help get something else in him. not drunk (bigger guy), but happy since they tasted good... I fixed super weak vodka cranberry for both of us later in the evening, well after dinner

amother

Seafoam

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 4:39 pm

amother [ Salmon ] wrote:

Lol my husband doesn’t drink either and I think his observance level is alright

I heard my daughter and my neighbors daughter talking. My neighbors daughter was insisting that it’s a mitzvah for men to get drunk on Purim and it’s ok if they don’t but they miss out on the mitzvah. My daughter was insisting otherwise. I did not get involved LOL

Maybe I should have

amother

Lime

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 4:52 pm

amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:

No biggie. I just thought people might want to know the proper use of the term in America outside of frum circles. Sunny

(Especially since in most states getting drunk is legal and getting high is not.)

I don’t think it’s only frum circles.
The saying Being on a high in a general term is used in the world at large.
It’s not something frum ppl made up

Merrium-Webster
Definition of on a high
informal
: feeling happy and excited
He was on a high after receiving the promotion.

Theosouras:

How do you say someone is high?
doped
comatose.
dazed.
high.
intoxicated.
narcotized.
stoned.
stupefied.

amother

Goldenrod

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 5:44 pm

amother [ Lime ] wrote:

Trust me as a BT, it really is only in frum circles.

The expression “being on a high” has nothing to do drugs or alcohol, though it may have derived from the concept, and is not the same expression as “getting high.” You cannot figure out how expressions are used in actual society by the dictionary or thesaurus.

Unless you grew up outside frum circles, you can’t say how these expressions are used outside frum circles. I did grow up outside frum circles, so just trust me and let it go. Note that I was not the only one in this thread confused by the use of the term high to refer to alcohol. It’s weird!

But anyway, it’s not important enough to derail this interesting thread. I just thought people should be aware that outside the frum world the meaning is different. But people here don’t often want to learn, they want to be stubborn and prove themselves right. If you don’t believe me or don’t want to believe me, I don’t care. Really, just let it go.

amother

Burgundy

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 10:10 pm

Yup. Rip-roaring drunk! But he

1. does it only once a year, on Purim
2. Is a very, very happy drunk (it makes him sing zemiros incessantly and dance with other people)
3. we have an agreement that I don't have anything to do with his throwing up afterward, and that he helps me set up the seuda beforehand and gets my permission before getting drunk (aka when he'll be out of commission)
4. We aim for 2 cups water for every cup wine and he gets less of a hangover

It took a few years (of unhappiness) for us to work out this (very happy!) compromise!!!

allthingsblue

Sun, Feb 28 2021, 10:36 pm

amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:

No biggie. I just thought people might want to know the proper use of the term in America outside of frum circles. Sunny

(Especially since in most states getting drunk is legal and getting high is not.)

For probably 30% (more?) of imamothers on this forum getting high is now legal. Progress!

amother

Wheat

Wed, Mar 03 2021, 4:00 pm

amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:

I actually work in addiction. And yes, high can be used for alcohol, as in "I love the high before I got blackout drunk it then I am not me and very angry, I pick fights. Love the high and buzz though...". It is said, but is more often referring to drugs- cannabis, heroin, Coke, meth etc. so both of you are in a way right.
At least in my professional experience with clients from all walks of life.

amother

Pink

Wed, Mar 03 2021, 5:13 pm

My husband drank at night and then didn't want to drink Purim day. He still did, and then fell asleep an hour to Shabbos, and we were going away for Shabbos, and I bentched licht about 2 minutes before shkiah. I don't mind him getting drunk but Friday Purim made it complicated.

amother

Puce

Wed, Mar 03 2021, 9:44 pm

My husband told me he’d drink very little this year because Shabbos would be coming soon.

(Many other promises like this that he didn’t keep)

An hour before Shabbos the Rav of the shul called me, angrily, to pick up my husband because “we can’t have him here like this”. I still don’t know exactly what he was doing.

He wouldn’t come into my van, some guys had to literally bring him into it. When I got home he wouldn’t come home so I propped open the door from the garage to the house and went to get all the kids ready for shabnos.

I tried to help him out of the van but he looked delirious like he was sleeping with his eyes open and wouldn’t say a word like he was mute. Later I found him on the floor of the garage and tried to help him up to bring him to a bed or couch. My kids all saw that he stood up and pulled down his pants and peed all over the floor of the garage and then fell down and stayed there a while longer.

I’m FURIOUS. Not sure when I’ll ever calm down. And this guy is in his 40s not a 20 something year old still learning how the world works. Our kids are 20-preschool.