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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
Advice needed . All the kids junk
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 10:43 am
My 6 yr old is obsessed with all the nice junk he got on purim. How to go about it? I told him he can choose 3 nosh a day . Is this even realistic? And I wish he didn't eat them everyday , but seems like this will be until his nosh isusing up. How do people manage the kids with tje nosh situation? Would love to hear ideas.
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Stars




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 10:57 am
The more you try to control him the more out of control it’ll be. I would ignore the situation sans 1-2 important rules you decide on ex. Not before dinner.
We keep all of the junk on the counter in a pooled container and the kids don’t look at it much, even my sugar obsessed one. I do throw out the real bad stuff but I do it matter of factly. I don’t sneak or lie.
They tend to take a few licks of each lollipop and then say yuck I don’t want it anymore so I say okay you can throw it out if you want. They do.
The more you sit there and act grossed out or try to control their choices the more they’ll want to defy you.
Anyway, The sooner he finishes it the sooner it’ll be out of the house. And maybe you’ll get lucky and make himself sick of it all.
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SHS




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 11:19 am
Maybe try trading his nosh for a toy/game?
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amother
Fuchsia


 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 11:24 am
I keep all the mishloach manos junk on the shared table for two days. I don’t watch who eats what and I don’t guilt trip anyone. On the third day, it all goes to the cleaning lady or the garbage.

The end! People are allowed to indulge every once in a while it won’t kill them.
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amother
Mauve


 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 11:32 am
3 noshes a day is a lot. Maybe just one, and only after meals. Does he listen to you in general?
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agreer




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 11:39 am
amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:
I keep all the mishloach manos junk on the shared table for two days. I don’t watch who eats what and I don’t guilt trip anyone. On the third day, it all goes to the cleaning lady or the garbage.

The end! People are allowed to indulge every once in a while it won’t kill them.


This is brilliant. I'm going to try it out.
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Redbird




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 11:40 am
I give my kids the option to "sell" me their junk. I let them keep a few favorite things. They each get $10 or a $10 toy.

Then I have a shabbos party stash.
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honeymoon




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 11:41 am
Redbird wrote:
I give my kids the option to "sell" me their junk. I let them keep a few favorite things. They each get $10 or a $10 toy.

Then I have a shabbos party stash.


Same here. Works like a charm.
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silverlining3




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 4:43 pm
Today I told my kids I think we'll leave all junkies for shabs, Shabbas nosh. They agreed and even seemed excited. The snacks I'll leave outside and allow them to take for snack.

I like the 2 day stay on the table idea as well.

Then I know many who suggest to their kids selling the nosh. Someone's kid made $15 and still stayed with some nosh for himself. She said he gave away real good nosh. It's upto him where he wants to use/put it. In savings or buy a toy or add to his school tzedaka.
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amother
Olive


 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 4:51 pm
If you are in Monsey, Flatbush, Lakewood, Far Rockaway or Williamsburg you can call 818-390-1829 to donate any food or nosh from purim. Tell your kids that its a mitvah to donate extra food or nosh to other people who may not have gotten anything.
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Zehava




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 5:14 pm
I turned a blind eye but by today I had enough. It makes them crazy and then I have to deal with the fallout on top of them being out of sorts from lack of routine. So today I put them somewhere and will slowly let them have one thing at a time.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 5:21 pm
Stars wrote:
The more you try to control him the more out of control it’ll be. I would ignore the situation sans 1-2 important rules you decide on ex. Not before dinner.
We keep all of the junk on the counter in a pooled container and the kids don’t look at it much, even my sugar obsessed one. I do throw out the real bad stuff but I do it matter of factly. I don’t sneak or lie.
They tend to take a few licks of each lollipop and then say yuck I don’t want it anymore so I say okay you can throw it out if you want. They do.
The more you sit there and act grossed out or try to control their choices the more they’ll want to defy you.
Anyway, The sooner he finishes it the sooner it’ll be out of the house. And maybe you’ll get lucky and make himself sick of it all.


This. I find it so interesting how frantic people get over candy. I barely bring candy into my house but I don’t make a big deal of candy at all. A platter of candy that our guests will bring for Shabbos will last months in my house. The kids are excited about their Purim candy on Purim, I let them eat what they want and then dump it in a box and they forget about it. When my kids want a candy from the store I buy it for them, they take 2 licks and throw it in the garbage. On the other hand, my sons friend who’s mom makes a huge deal out of candy will come to my house and beg me for endless lollipops. Candy is just a non issue in my house .
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amother
Teal


 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 5:48 pm
mommy3b2c wrote:
This. I find it so interesting how frantic people get over candy. I barely bring candy into my house but I don’t make a big deal of candy at all. A platter of candy that our guests will bring for Shabbos will last months in my house. The kids are excited about their Purim candy on Purim, I let them eat what they want and then dump it in a box and they forget about it. When my kids want a candy from the store I buy it for them, they take 2 licks and throw it in the garbage. On the other hand, my sons friend who’s mom makes a huge deal out of candy will come to my house and beg me for endless lollipops. Candy is just a non issue in my house .
I never made a big deal of candy when my kids were younger but they still do, so I have to put my foot down. But it clearly started with them, not with my wanting to control it, because I know I changed at a certain point in response to their behavior. My kids will never forget about the nosh they get. Or take 2 licks and dump it. They gorge on the stuff, no matter how much they get or how matter of fact I am about it. I’m aware there are kids who are different and don’t care as much, and it’s also possible that parents being too strict can cause kids to crave it too much, but some kids are just obsessed with candy no matter how nonchalant their parent are. And it’s really not surprising, being that sugar is more addictive than cocaine.
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Surrendered




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 5:50 pm
The kids sell me their nosh.
We make up prices according to how much sugar the nosh has. A very sugary nosh or big one, they get more money for.
The nosh gets put away for shabbos (after candle lighting) and shabbos party.
Snack bags are put away for recess before pesach.
Chocolates and other treats are for special occasions. If they davened nicely or helped out in the house...
Baked goods (which we didn't receive this year) is for my coffee and for shabbos.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 5:55 pm
amother [ Teal ] wrote:
I never made a big deal of candy when my kids were younger but they still do, so I have to put my foot down. But it clearly started with them, not with my wanting to control it, because I know I changed at a certain point in response to their behavior. My kids will never forget about the nosh they get. Or take 2 licks and dump it. They gorge on the stuff, no matter how much they get or how matter of fact I am about it. I’m aware there are kids who are different and don’t care as much, and it’s also possible that parents being too strict can cause kids to crave it too much, but some kids are just obsessed with candy no matter how nonchalant their parent are. And it’s really not surprising, being that sugar is more addictive than cocaine.


Well I can’t deny your experience, but I find it interesting. I guess it’s partly my kids personalities and my overall personality and attitude as well. If my kid drops a lollipop on the floor and it shatters into a million pieces I tell them I will buy them another one. We all shrug our shoulders and move on.
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amother
Teal


 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 6:01 pm
mommy3b2c wrote:
Well I can’t deny your experience, but I find it interesting. I guess it’s partly my kids personalities and my overall personality and attitude as well. If my kid drops a lollipop on the floor and it shatters into a million pieces I tell them I will buy them another one. We all shrug our shoulders and move on.
Yes, it is a personality thing. My kids have obsessive type personalities, even though I’m super chill and easygoing. I used to be smug too and think that if I never made a big deal about food my kids would be like that too. Well, it hasn’t quite turned out that way. And I know I’m not the only one with kids like this. Society loves blaming parents for their kids behavior but it’s not always the way it seems.
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mommy3b2c




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 6:04 pm
amother [ Teal ] wrote:
Yes, it is a personality thing. My kids have obsessive type personalities, even though I’m super chill and easygoing. I used to be smug too and think that if I never made a big deal about food my kids would be like that too. Well, it hasn’t quite turned out that way. And I know I’m not the only one with kids like this. Society loves blaming parents for their kids behavior but it’s not always the way it seems.


Well it’s definitely a mixture between of both. It’s partly personality and partly the way in raising them. We just don’t make a big deal.
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silverlining3




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 6:14 pm
I myself LOVE junkies, especially sweets. Oh that sweet tooth of mine. So yea, although I'm very easygoing, I feel there's a limit to how much they can consume.

To be honest, 1, 2, even 3 mm, I'd let go, it would all be gone during these 3 days Purim. But when it's already 7+, with many eaten before Purim still, (from teachers), and I'm not complaining, I just can't.. I don't take away or buy it off from them, I simply tell them what I do. I'll do whatever works well for me and my kids.

To each their own.
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amother
Navy


 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 6:29 pm
mommy3b2c wrote:
This. I find it so interesting how frantic people get over candy. I barely bring candy into my house but I don’t make a big deal of candy at all. A platter of candy that our guests will bring for Shabbos will last months in my house. The kids are excited about their Purim candy on Purim, I let them eat what they want and then dump it in a box and they forget about it. When my kids want a candy from the store I buy it for them, they take 2 licks and throw it in the garbage. On the other hand, my sons friend who’s mom makes a huge deal out of candy will come to my house and beg me for endless lollipops. Candy is just a non issue in my house .


I think you may be mistaken. I have observed enough and realized that mother's health habits do not make a difference at all. Some kids love it and some don't.
Consider yourself lucky because most kids gravitate towards colorful candy over chicken and rice.
Besides, what you consider an okay amount of sugar or coloring or additives may be very unhealthy in my house. And it doesn't make you right or me right. It's just that.
We aren't here to judge others or decide what is right for others. There is no right or wrong. We accept each other's because nobody's path is perfect.
So after observing the "deprived" kids and those who eat ice cream from breakfast, I haven't found more of either in either group.
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amother
Navy


 

Post Sun, Feb 28 2021, 6:31 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My 6 yr old is obsessed with all the nice junk he got on purim. How to go about it? I told him he can choose 3 nosh a day . Is this even realistic? And I wish he didn't eat them everyday , but seems like this will be until his nosh isusing up. How do people manage the kids with tje nosh situation? Would love to hear ideas.

A quarter per candy traded in. My son got a playmobile today using all that Purim candy money he traded.
And the garbage got the candy.
We're all thrilled with how it worked.
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