Looking for babysitter for 2 weeks in tri-state area

Debbie

Sun, Feb 14 2021, 1:32 am

amother [ Blue ] wrote:

You would seriously leave a nursing child for a vacation with dh? Have you no maternal instincts in you at all? I’m baffled.

I wouldn't have left my formula fed babies for 2 weeks so my husband and I could go on vacation.
Surely that's bonding time, and who on earth has the energy to travel 2 weeks after giving birth anyway?

amother

Forestgreen

Sun, Feb 14 2021, 6:22 am

I think everyone errupted because of the 2 weeks + nursing baby thing. If she asked for 2 days, you would have gotten a handful of haters, but many people would have assumed that was reasonable. Also, leaving 2 weeks of pumped milk is A LOT, and what are you planning on doing with the milk you pump over those 2 weeks you're away? If you're struggling with this baby, dropping nursing and pumping in every spare minute may help you get the space you need. (Speaking from experience here- I had to give up pumping at 4 months for my mental health and it made me a way better mother)

amother

Periwinkle

Sun, Feb 14 2021, 7:45 am

amother [ Olive ] wrote:

I’m sure child protective services would be happy to place her in Foster Care for you

Wow, what an evil thing to say!

bonny

Sun, Feb 14 2021, 10:57 am

amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:

I disagree.
Everyone erupted because they engaged in judgment instead of compassion.
Who is anyone to know if 2 days will have less of an impact than 2 weeks. Attachment trauma is not measured by days or weeks.
Either way, this will be my last post on this.
I've made my point clear.
And again, I hope OP doesn't buckle to all those judgers who expressed themselves so rudely in the name of "love" for her baby.

amother

Gray

Sun, Feb 14 2021, 11:04 am

bonny wrote:

I don't believe that there's any professional that thinks that it's ok to suddenly leave a nursing baby at a stranger. I don't believe that anyone thinks that a nursing baby doesn't doesn't get affected from suddenly being left. A nursing baby is part of mom and goes along wherever mom goes.

tichellady

Sun, Feb 14 2021, 11:12 am

Everyone has an idea of what’s healthy for children and what’s not. Some people think leaving your child during the day to work is wrong. Others are against any sleep training or scheduling. Some think leaving a child with family post partum is cruel. Personally I find the childcare set ups of many frum communities with one person watching 5-10 babies or toddlers to be concerning. But ultimately this is all complicated and complex and it’s really hard to be a mom and every mom needs to decide what she thinks is in the best interest of her family and kids ( and moms are part of the family too).

amother

Mustard

Sun, Feb 14 2021, 9:29 pm

amother [ Pewter ] wrote:

Research shows that children who were in full time day care as babies have more behavioral problems later on, especially boys.

Where does it say this?

mig100

Mon, Feb 15 2021, 12:38 am

tichellady wrote:

This.

amother

Gray

Mon, Feb 15 2021, 8:13 am

gilamom wrote:

OP, what about a kimpeturin home? Would that work, this way you can rest and unwind while the baby is close by and being taken care of?

You can only go to a kimpeturin home immediately post birth with a newborn baby. It seems like OP's baby is afew months old.

amother

Slateblue

Wed, Mar 03 2021, 2:42 pm

bonny wrote:

I disagree. I hope she reconsiders her plans.

amother

Ecru

Wed, Mar 10 2021, 1:07 pm

I feel like people are misunderstanding the trauma caused by abandoning a baby for 2 weeks. And yes, I believe it is abandonment. Of course a baby wont remember being left at a few months old. At least not in his/her conscious memory. But from age 0-3 a child's brain literally develops and forms around its experiences. So while the baby may not "remember " being left, his brain sure does. Leaving babies whether by choice or not most definitely causes trauma (to different degrees depending on the circumstance). As an a child, teen, and adult, is there anxiety, depression, issues with emotional vulnerability, abandonment issues, etc etc etc? These can be signs that something went wrong in these formative years. Who knows where all our issues stem from? So don't dismiss this trauma so quickly assuming everything will be "fine". Sometimes it really isn't.

amother

Khaki

Wed, Mar 10 2021, 1:55 pm

Soon after my mother had one of my siblings, she had to be rehospitalized for a post birth complication. She left her newborn at a friends house for as long as she was in the hospital. That sibling always had issues with anxiety and fear of abandonment, even today as an adult. Not saying it’s for sure connected to that, but none of the rest of my siblings had this issue.

amother

Gray

Wed, Mar 10 2021, 2:02 pm

Im the poster that posted about my sis n law leaving a nursing baby and mocking me because I wouldn't do the same. Well, since she came back 3 weeks ago, her baby that was happy, content, and quiet is cry non stop. He does not stop screaming and the second he doesn't see her he gets absolutely hysterical. This is going on non stop for 3 weeks. A child that was happy and never cried, shreiking bloody murder all day. I hope she learned her lesson.