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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling -> Seminary Info

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amother

Amber

Mon, Mar 08 2021, 10:20 am

My sister applied. She ended up going to bjj just for name recognition. Can't Believe It

But she would have happily gone there otherwise.

amother

Salmon

Mon, Mar 08 2021, 10:26 am

I went to BA a few years ago and the girls are not at all what you call 'weird'. My parents are BT, and that was pretty common, but there were also plenty of girls from FFB (not divorced) families.
At least half the girls were from brooklyn/lakewood/5towns/monsey, and the other half from OOT communities.
I don't know what this coming year will be like, but if it helps to hear what other sems girls got into and chose BA instead - it ranged from places like Machon Raaya, Michlala, Meor to Kesser Chaya, BJJ, Bnos Sara.
I know a lot of girls look at BA vs Bnos Sara and choose BA as the less academic choice.

Chayalle

Mon, Mar 08 2021, 10:27 am

OP: This advisor from Monsey, does she know your daughter? Have they met? What is the nature of their relationship?

Is this a longstanding relationship that Mrs. Advisor knows your DD and knows what is or isn't for her? Or is this her opinion that applies universally to anyone who contacts her?

Just FTR....my DD's very close friend - a lovely Lakewood girl who originally hails from OOT, went to BA. Solid frum girl, mult-talented, smart, and lots of fun. Great middos too.
Also a very in-town neighborhood girl I know went to BA - solid frum family originally from Brooklyn.

So I'm not sure where Mrs. Advisor gets her info from...with all due respect.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Mar 08 2021, 10:31 am

4pom wrote:

So sad!! Do people who work with placing our daughters in seminaries not know the halochos of motzi shem ra and lashan hara ? It’s sad !

My thoughts exactly. Really inappropriate to make comments like that.

amother

Mon, Mar 08 2021, 12:48 pm

OP here. Thank you for everyone’s chizuk and help. Allow me to respond to a few questions.

I was shocked as well when this woman told me this info as I have nothing to do with her. Principal advised me to call her and explain our background + seminary choices as she’s a N.Y. seminary advisor/educator for 20 yrs and knows it all, while we including DD’s school doesn’t.

Again she didn’t say negative things about seminary. Rather it seemed that in her opinion should a traditional BY girl have other “better” options because of her grades and recommendations, she should take them.

We do know trustworthy NY/NJ people. the problem IMO is that my Lakewood family is too yeshivish while 5 towns family are too jappy.

My DD applied here because (1) she liked the way the school teaches based on their website and brochure (2) heard nice things about the girls and lastly (3) not too keen on the “top” choices given to her by her HS seminary advisor.

I Am not making a stand only providing a DP for everyone. But after DD called 5 random girls, it turns out that (1) one girl was from a divorced home (2) parents are BT (3) Russian (4) girl had school jumped multiple times and (5) was your typical B”Y girl.

Final note - when my MIL heard which schools DD turned down, “she was very surprised. She felt the other seminaries have better reputations/name recognition and more to offer her, and hopes that DD is not going to regret it.”

Yikes! I of course did not relay these thoughts to DD.

This whole conversation took place after paying the deposit, but B”H it was not a factor in the decision.

In the end, my daughter is sticking with her BA choice and ignoring the negative implications what the “professional” educator and shadchan says.

If I had to guess as to the reason, it’s because my DH has always drilled into my kids that being different can be good. A lesson can be learnt from everyone. Whether that means that a girl is a BT, Russian, divorced or broken home - who cares. Look at the girl herself!
Of course sadly this is not the way our Jewish world works for the most part.

Fabulous

Mon, Mar 08 2021, 12:54 pm

I know a super sweet, normal, regular Bais Yaakov Brooklyn girl who went there. I also know several of her friends from there - all great, happy, healthy, sweet girls. It's a great option for girls that want a torah environment and don't want to be drilled that marrying only full time learning boys is the only way.

amother

Apricot

Sat, Feb 26 2022, 11:10 pm

Op (or anyone) any update on your daughters year in BA? My daughter is considering going but after reading this thread I'm getting nervous....

Last edited by amother on Thu, Jun 15 2023, 11:50 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Periwinkle

Sat, Feb 26 2022, 11:12 pm

What is your daughter like?

amother

Tiffanyblue

Sat, Feb 26 2022, 11:24 pm

It's really funny how people on here are so conformist they're afraid of Russians. Lol. There's a pretty big world out there, FYI. And sometimes when you join the workforce -- gasp -- you have to interact with people who aren't *just like you*!! Shocking I know.

amother

Sage

Sat, Feb 26 2022, 11:43 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

My OOT daughter had decided to attend BA. Today she spoke to a respected mechanech in monsey that’s been advising girls for over 20 years who advised her not to attend (her sem advisor agreed with her). This was not done outright rather hinted at.

She had nothing negative to say about the seminary itself, only that it wasn’t for DD.
While she emphasized that the BA girls are good, solid, smart girls - most are coming from backgrounds not typical (Russian families, BT, divorced families etc..). Not to say anything is wrong with these.

The words odd, out of the box, possibly even weird were also used to describe the girls.
To add further salt to wound, it was mentioned how many girls only attend BA as their backup (always the bridesmaid never the bride) when their preferred places don’t work out.

Needless to say my DD freaked out, and is now thinking about her backup option of Machon Raaya. She does not want to be labeled a weirdo/“nebbe” nor have .....

We proceeded to call 2 women from NY/NJ that deal with girls post seminary and none of them even heard of BA. This part got me worried, as we’re from a small Midwest town that’s reliant on word of mouth that comes from being in a certain seminary.

I know that a number of Imas have posted nice things to say about BA, but since everyone is anonymous, for all I know it could be the same person that is a marketer for the seminary.

What should we do?

I knew the name sounded familiar, my niece will be going to Bnos Avigayil next year. Typical, wonderful family.
OP, how has your daughters year been?

amother

Apricot

Sun, Feb 27 2022, 12:08 am

amother [ Periwinkle ] wrote:

What is your daughter like?

Out of town, very frum (not yeshivish), tznius, highly intellectual, not judgemental, very nice sweet girl.

Last edited by amother on Thu, Jun 15 2023, 11:50 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Apricot

Sun, Feb 27 2022, 12:17 am

My daughter is bh a great kid (principal calls her a top girl) bnos avigail seems to want her very badly, they offered us a nice amount of money off...... B/c of that I'm getting nervous, why do they want her so badly? Do they not have such good girls there?

amother

Periwinkle

Sun, Feb 27 2022, 1:14 am

fish wrote:

Out of town, very frum (not yeshivish), tznius, highly intellectual, not judgemental, very nice sweet girl.

Seems like she’ll be a perfect fit.
Hatzlochah

amother

Tuberose

Sun, Feb 27 2022, 2:25 am

I personally wouldn't be comfortable sending there after Rebbetzin Hellers statements on Chaim Walder.

Even Neveh wasn't too happy about that and distanced themselves from the things she said on the topic.

TravelHearter

Sun, Feb 27 2022, 2:38 am

amother [ Apricot ] wrote:

They gave me parents a chunk off for the same reason. Not bad at all. I think they just want to give an incentive for the girls they consider to be an asset to choose them.

A lot of stuff in the OP was pure assumption (not attacking you OP- just clarifying for those reading.) Please feel free to PM! I can speak from my personal experience going there.

amother

Cinnamon

Sun, Feb 27 2022, 3:56 am

I never comment on these threads because I am too close to the center of seminaries. I just have to say that my husband and I are VERY involved in many seminaries and the girls at Bnos Avigayil are amazing. When we spend Shabbos with the seminary the girls go out of there way to introduce themselves and thank us for coming. They go out of their way to make my teenage daughter feel welcome (doesn't happen at any other seminary). They are great to have as Shabbos guests helpful and engage in conversation on a variety of topics. I would recommend BA to any OOT family that is looking for a fabulous experience for their daughter. It is NOT an "in town" seminary. Maybe 1 or 2 girls from Lakewood a year. But most girls are from large OOT communities. I am always impressed with the girls from BA and I can sit 20 seminary girls from many different seminaries a Shabbos meal ( and remember I am not a random family they got set up with they know us from inside the seminary world).

amother

Copper

Sun, Feb 27 2022, 6:32 am

Who is the Menahel/Menahelet of this Seminary? Is it located in Har Nof?

Elfrida

Sun, Feb 27 2022, 7:08 am

amother [ Copper ] wrote:

Who is the Menahel/Menahelet of this Seminary? Is it located in Har Nof?

Rebbitzen Heller.

It is in Har Nof, on the Neve campus.

amother

Lemonchiffon

Sun, Feb 27 2022, 7:20 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

HUH? My neighbor sent her daughter to Bnos Avigayil and she is a great girl. Rebbetzin Heller is fantastic. It's so crazy that we send our daughters to a year in Israel so far away from us and we have never been to actually see the seminary! Nerve wracking.

amother

Lemonchiffon

Sun, Feb 27 2022, 7:23 am

amother [ Tuberose ] wrote:

Yes she made a mistake on this, but it doesn't take away from her years of experience with seminary girls and she is a brilliant woman.
I wonder if she took back her statements.

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