Does language delay + sensory issues always = autism?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)

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amother

Purple

Mon, Mar 08 2021, 7:11 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Language delay and sensory issues. When she gave the class a choice of playing with orbies or something else, he was the only one who chose orbies and he loved them. And she said she sees him stimming, but I have no idea what she is talking about. I have never seen him stim.

She said he has his friends from last year, and he perceives the kids who were not in his class last year as a threat, so he fights with them to protect his friends.

The child has had 4 speech therapists in his life, and none of them ever expressed any concern about autism. Neither did any of his other therapists. His teachers from last year loved him.

I am hurt because his teacher spends all day taking care of him, and she doesn't seem to see the same sweet child I see. She focuses on the bad. He has never been very aggressive with other children until this school year.

No no no no no this makes me so frustrated. How old is this teacher?
Your son most likely has a processing disorder and not ASD. Does he make eye contact? Does he follow social cues and understand emotions? Does he have limited facial expressions? Respond to his name? Does he dislike socializing? Does he have obsessions that strike you as odd or different (I don’t mean this as a mean thing, I just can’t think of a different word to describe)?

amother

Chocolate

Mon, Mar 08 2021, 7:13 am

amother [ Purple ] wrote:

My daughter makes eye contact and responds to her name. She loves people. She has severe autism. Autism isn’t just the stereotypical ideas you have.

OP autism is just a label to enable you to get more help. If you need it to get that then don’t let the label hold you back.

amother

Purple

Mon, Mar 08 2021, 7:16 am

amother [ Chocolate ] wrote:

True, but speech and ot delays plus aggression and liking orbies is not enough to just call “autism”.
The aggression is usually part of the speech delay.

Chana Miriam S

Mon, Mar 08 2021, 7:42 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thank you.

I'm so hurt that my child's teacher thinks he's on the spectrum. His last year's teachers loved him.

Why is that insulting to you? You realize that people on the autism spectrum can be l loved?

My son had teachers through his entire school experience who loved him. He’s just also on the autism spectrum.

amother

Mon, Mar 08 2021, 8:17 am

amother [ Purple ] wrote:

I also think he has a processing disorder. He loves socializing, follows social cues, has normal facial expressions, wonderful eye contact... But his socialization is less verbal than most kids his age. Even since he was a toddler, he has loved running around in the park with other kids and doing what they do.

amother

Mon, Mar 08 2021, 8:20 am

andrea levy wrote:

I have a child who is on the spectrum. Yes, I realize kids on the spectrum can be loved.

The reason I am insulted is because my son's teacher is seeing things that aren't there. If he had autistic behaviors, I'd have no problem with her calling him that. But she's been taking care of my very social child all year, and she hasn't seen how capable he is when it comes to playing with friends. Instead, she perceives him- falsely, IMO- as a kid who can't socialize. She is seeing stims where nobody else has seen any.

amother

Purple

Mon, Mar 08 2021, 8:28 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Which makes sense that he’s aggressive in school

miami85

Mon, Mar 08 2021, 9:08 am

amother [ Coral ] wrote:

There is a special test at the board of Ed and it’s done around age 5. It’s called the educational psychological test. Ed/psych. I had it done on my son because I was concerned about dyslexia. It has an IQ component and other things. This is totally different than the normal evaluations and it was helpful for me to help me relax in terms of learning disabilities. This might be another evaluation option for you.

This is not quite accurate. I am a school psychologist I used to work closely with CPSE when I lived in NY. IF you have concerns about your child's development related to school, you may request a psycho-educational evaluation which can include parts to assess IQ and Autism. There may be screeners that help educators identify children that parents don't seem concerned/aware of the problems, but a psycho-ed evaluation always needs parental consent. Many children get one as part of the transition to "mandatory school-age" if they were getting speech or SEIT services in preschool often known as CPSE to CSE.

miami85

Mon, Mar 08 2021, 9:12 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

There are definitely people who misunderstand children and ASD becomes a catch-all for kids who are "odd" or "don't fit the mold". Sometimes kids are just not social, or shy, or miss social cues. In terms of my own child, the ADHD seems to be addressing the concerns that we're having that are often thought of as "ASD" I don't love the Dx of ADHD because I think it is also too broad and over-reaching but it's the best we have and so far the medication has been helping him control his impulses and "tune-in" better.

amother

Burlywood

Mon, Mar 08 2021, 9:27 am

Does he stim?

I think that would be the biggest sign as to whether he is or isnt diagnosable.

mommyhood

Mon, Mar 08 2021, 9:33 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Is there an assistant or a director who can observe and give you a second opinion. I know some of my kids are completely different in school than at home, are you sure that’s not a possibility here? I have literally sat at PTA with my mouth hanging open because the way they’re describing my kid is nothing like the kid I see at home.

miami85

Mon, Mar 08 2021, 9:34 am

amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:

Does he stim?

I think that would be the biggest sign as the whether he is or isnt diagnosable.

even non-spectrum stim, some even have a hand flap, I think the biggest "tell" is if the child is the stim to relieve social stress and are they aware of it?Non-asd will often stop if their attention is called to it or the get distracted

honey36

Mon, Mar 08 2021, 9:52 am

Slp here. I don't specialize in autism and have only worked with a handful of autistic kids over the years, but iirc from grad school there are (my numbers could be a bit off) 8 basic symptoms of asd and as long as your child has 5 of them he can get the diagnosis.

But im also pretty sure to be diagnosed they must have some sort of SOCIAL delay. That can mean anything from the classic no eye contact, preference to be alone, no joint attention etc. To just not being able to take others perspectives or not picking up on social cues that are age appropriate.

If your child's language is delayed but he's otherwise completely normal socially I would never suggest asd.

amother

Blonde

Mon, Mar 08 2021, 10:11 am

Do you have any close friend or relative that can go into the classroom and observe for a while. It might give you some more clarity as to what’s going on in the classroom. As an slp, sometimes when a child’s in a class environment they may present differently than at home. There may be something in the classroom that’s causing your child to behave this way that maybe the teacher is missing. It’s hard to hear from a teacher; when they are set on seeing one diagnosis and that’s all, but show her that you’re exploring options to do what’s best for your child... the therapists that are working with him this year, do you feel comfortable talking to them and telling them what’s going on. Maybe they have a better picture? Maybe they can relate some incidents that they see happening or maybe they hear from the teacher different things and can give their perspective. In either case, it’s so hard to have a Morah tell you these things and feel like she doesn’t love and see the good in your child, but I have experienced different type of morah’s and some aren’t so warm and just don’t know how to express their concerns in a nice loving way, and that’s what makes the difference. I’m so sorry you’re going through this, May you have the right clarity and get the help that’s best for your child to thrive and grow .

amother

Seagreen

Mon, Mar 08 2021, 10:26 am

As a former teacher we were told never to suggest a diagnosis. We were only supposed to list our concerns and ask the parents to arrange for an evaluation. So I do think the teacher is out of line and is way out of her league in suggesting autism. But I agree that you should have an evaluation to try to pinpoint what’s happening.

FranticFrummie

Mon, Mar 08 2021, 10:44 am

amother [ Seagreen ] wrote:

Teachers who "diagnose" are one of my biggest pet peeves! Mad

Recommending an evaluation is one thing, but labeling a kid before they've even seen a professional in the field is completely wrong.

My DD has been through the whole alphabet soup of possible diagnoses, and in the end it was the IEP based on her needs that was the only thing that helped.

Just be aware that IEP meetings can be soul sucking, because social workers will focus entirely on everything that is "wrong" with your child, and make him out to be worse than he is. You're instinct will be to want to defend him, and you'll have to keep your mouth shut if you want any kind of accommodations for him. Keep your eye on the bigger picture, always.

miami85

Mon, Mar 08 2021, 10:50 am

honey36 wrote:

The DSM-V diagnosis is yes based off of 5/8 symptoms or indicators of autism, but having worked with children with autism I do not like this method because as in the case of my son he has then checklist but they are not necessarily linked and the most important reason to get a good diagnosis is for the treatment. In my experience and research is that as a neurological diagnosis children with ASD their brains are wired to learn differently, they learn hard-fast concepts quickly--letters, numbers and shapes, and struggle mightily with the socially learned subjects such as "creative writing" and "recess" and "what to do after someone says hello" and "what happens when the plan changes suddenly". These were not the issues I saw in my son. He is very aware of other people's emotions and is able to ask for help--though he does not like to talk to unfamiliar people, it is because of his Apraxia. Apraxia is also neurologically based, but he is aware of social nuances and he has that ability to "watch something with someone else and comment on it", known as joint attention. He can talk "TO YOU" and not "Through you". In seminars about Autism that I have attended they said in individuals with high verbal ability the "tell" with Autism is the complete lack of awareness of social cues and emotions. Kids with ADHD can be socially off as well.

I find that using the DSM-V diagnosis for autism isn't much better than self-diagnosing with google. I'm frustrated that it can be "as simple as this" to get a diagnosis--and I went to a TOP developmental pediatrician for my son and he "just wanted to help me get services" and it "sounds great" but I have found that children who are neurotypical do not thrive in an "ABA" setting because they have too much "opinion" and "emotion" get "stubborn" and then get stuck and just act out behaviorally. For a child with Apraxia who doesn't have the capacity to "perform on demand" it just frustrates them and you WANT them to communicate however works for them, and they will not just say "cookie" when prompted. It's a completely different direction for therapy. Some children with ASD ALSO have Apraxia, some with Apraxia ALSO have ADHD, but we shouldn't be labeling Apraxia ASD just to get more services. We have to get insurances to acknoweldge Apraxia on its own.

amother

Amethyst

Mon, Mar 08 2021, 4:12 pm

l I have been involved in a number of groups (educational/professional/personal etc) that deal with persons the spectrum. (My husband is also on the spectrum as well as my son)

My son is so lovable. His teachers love him, his friends love him. Most have no clue about the other rigid side of him. He is very skilled at masking when needed. He is very smart and has learned about sarcasm, expressions, and actually does very well with speech.

I am saying this because often autism is very nuanced.

Yes, eye contact and stimming are easy ways to possibly notice autism, but it can be so much subtler as well.

I personally see rigidity as the most common denominator among the many many situations I am familiar with along the spectrum. and also family members on the spectrum is a very common occurrence of the spectrum.

amother

Cobalt

Tue, Mar 09 2021, 5:14 am

amother [ Hotpink ] wrote:

No it usually comes along with repititious behavior patterns, stemming, difficulty with change in routine, getting stuck when needs aren't met, not applying concepts from one situation to another, etc.

Many people have ASD and do not expirience all these symptoms.

amother

Smokey

Tue, Mar 09 2021, 5:27 am

I am aware that many local New York schools are getting lots of financial benefits from getting their children enrolled in aba hence the huge increase in asd diagnosis.
That being said can anybody suggest a good evaluator who can diagnose if my child really has asd? I feel the psychologist the school sent me to is asked to try to make sure to diagnose all the students with asd so the school and child can be enrolled in aba.
Also I was told I need to pay for private insurance. Is there any way to get that paid?

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