Who would you name after?

amother

Purple

Thu, Mar 11 2021, 11:23 pm

I'm confused about this adding a name/not using a full name and it not meaning anything...
The whole reason I give a name is to remember someone by it. It's like a meaningful thing to me and my family. Why would I need to discuss that with a rabbi? Is there like some more religious reason for naming after someone? Like why is that something that a rabbi needs to be talked to about?

Sorry OP. Difficult decision. No advice. G-d willing you will have more children and be able to use all of the names if that is what you want eventually.

amother

Honeydew

Fri, Mar 12 2021, 6:20 am

amother [ Purple ] wrote:

There are some people who view the naming after someone in a more kabbalistic way where it's like the baby takes the "soul" of that deceased person or similar so if you don't name properly and exactly after that one person than it doesn't "work" and it's not "counted".
The other perspective is that it's a meaningful way to remember the person and honor their memory and then it's not a problem to add a name etc.
The people who hold the first way or something similar to that are the ones who would ask a rav about those specific details
I hold the second way so there isn't really much to ask a rav about (unless it's a shalom bayis question or kibbud av ve-em question)

tweety1

Fri, Mar 12 2021, 8:31 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I'm almost due and dont know what I'm having. Of course, I've been thinking a lot about names and although once I have the baby, I will ultimately make the decision with my husband, he keeps saying it's my decision.
I have two choices for a girl:
1) my grandmother who was nifteres when I was 6, but I have tonz of memories of her and used to visit her every day after school. I have 6 nieces named after her already and if I do the name, I would add a name that's meaningful to me since I had a difficult pregnancy.
2) My husbands grandmother who has a name I love so would be happy to name my kid that. Although there are cousins who named after her, we don't have any nieces named for her yet. My FIL was close to her, but dh never really had any relationship with her. I think it would be meaningful for my FIL.
for a boy:
1) my mom's father- huge talmid chochom and I have 4 nephews named for him. (other sibs don't have boys) We wouldn't be able to do the full name (total 3) since my husband shares one and my FIL has the other, so we would do his first name (what he was called) and add a meaningful name for my difficult pregnancy.
2) my father's father- had a ton of mesiras nefesh to send his boys to yeshiva and was overall a very special person. I have one nephew named after him. One sibling has the name so cant name for him and other siblings with mult boys really dislike the name since it's yiddish and not at all common in our circles.

since dh doesnt want to make this decision (at least not yet) I'm very curious to hear what other ppl would do. It's our first kid if that makes a difference.

For the boy I can't offer advice, but for the girl; you mentioned you have great memories of your grandmother. There's is something so special to name a kid after somebody you knew and have fond memories of. It's like am emotional connection and that feeling you can't just explain in writing. I have 3 such names. Dh has one. There's something abt it.

amother

Honeydew

Fri, Mar 12 2021, 8:47 am

octopus wrote:

Not everyone "holds" that you have to name exact name etc. And a "spark" of a deceased neshama?? I'm not sure that's what it is. It's supposed to be a kesher to deceased neshama. Not a replacement.

If you look back I did say "some people view". Right of course not everyone "holds" that way. There are many different views. But those who are extremely makpid to name only the exact correct name of that person and otherwise it doesn't "count" usually fall into this category.
Sometimes it's just to make their parent happy that they named exactly after their father /mother. (but that would be less of a shayla to a Rav)