Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
DD having a hard time with stricter tnzius laws



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Mar 14 2021, 6:55 pm
I want to be vague bec I don’t want to be bullied if people thing my community it too strict. My daughter who’s under 10 is having a hard time with her new summer wardrobe. I really tried to buy cute, in style stuff that she’d be ok with the more tznius stuff but she’s not having it. She keeps asking me if she can wear stuff in the house that I told her we’re not longer going to go out in. She’s also laying on her bedroom floor crying that she has nothing to wear and she doesn’t like XYZ bec it’s too ___
It’s been warm for only a week or so and I don’t know how I’m gonna deal with this all summer. How do I speak to her in a way that won’t turn her off to tznius?
Back to top

zigi




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 14 2021, 7:04 pm
can she wear a shell underneath? or leggings with short socks? not sure what she is fighting against. but I do let my girls wear whatever in the house. ok not my teen. but the littler girls have some interesting outfits. I also think with them that easing into something there is less fights, I am going to have to get rid of the knee socks if she is going to fight me about it, in school only tights are allowed.
have your daughter pick things that she likes from allowable options.
Back to top

amother
Lawngreen


 

Post Sun, Mar 14 2021, 7:16 pm
Tell her at this age all the girls start to....because you are growing up& we do this but she can go shopping with you and choose things she likes.
Back to top

allthingsblue




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 14 2021, 7:18 pm
Honestly I would let her wear what she wants in the house (unless it's short shirts and a bra and she has brothers).
Back to top

amother
Amber


 

Post Sun, Mar 14 2021, 7:20 pm
My girls have the same issues all year round outside of the home too. I’m not sure what we can do to make them appreciate tznius. The yetzer hora is huge. The girl equate tznius with nerdy. I wish I’d know the solution. Following for more ideas...
Back to top

amother
Smokey


 

Post Sun, Mar 14 2021, 7:22 pm
What's her close friends doing ? Usually kids wanna follow peer pressure.... Is there a sensory issue ? You can start by validating her feelings and then asking what's really bothering her...
Did she always have difficulties with this or is it all of a sudden?
I don't have older kids yet.... But I know for me when I started keeping tzinut it was hard from a physiological perspective but your body gets used to it...
Sounds like more is going on maybe..
If your for it psychologically then the physiological part follows through . Just some thoughts...
Back to top

amother
Slateblue


 

Post Sun, Mar 14 2021, 8:13 pm
Let it come from her peers. Do you have to enforce it.
She’ll want to dress like her friends. My son with sensory issues adjusted bc of peer pressure.
Unless youre a shlucha or in a neighborhood with people not on your standards then I have no advice. Hope others do. Good luck
Back to top

amother
Mauve


 

Post Sun, Mar 14 2021, 8:21 pm
First, good for you for trying to buy her cute things that she would feel good in. But it’s hard to know if she’s being dramatic and unreasonable without knowing what these tznius guidelines are. Are they new to her? Are they too strict? Are her friends wearing the same things?
Back to top

seeker




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Mar 14 2021, 8:37 pm
Do her old clothes still fit or is she asking for new clothes in the old styles? I found it gentler to phase out the short sleeves as she grew out of them. I'd let her wear them in the house and assume she'll get over that soon enough. Also agree with the peer thing, it feels hard for her when you talk about it but when she sees that's the way things are, it will stop being an issue. If her peer group doesn't keep tznius then you have a whole different question on your hands...
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Is it hard?
by amother
6 Tue, Mar 26 2024, 6:14 pm View last post
Do you give fancy MM to parents/in laws?
by amother
27 Thu, Mar 21 2024, 5:56 am View last post
Laws of Pesach
by amother
4 Mon, Mar 18 2024, 5:27 pm View last post
by GLUE
Requesting specific room/accommodations at parents/in laws 21 Sat, Mar 16 2024, 6:51 pm View last post
by zaq
Shalach manos for in laws
by amother
3 Sun, Mar 10 2024, 2:11 pm View last post