Buying DH his first Shtreimel

amother

Sun, Mar 21 2021, 10:50 pm

Hi everyone,

My husband and I are flying into NY for Pesach and have decided to come a few days early to do some shopping. Ever since we got formally engaged, my husband has always talked about wanting a shtreimel instead of just a plain black hat. However, a lot of his more traditional chassidish friends outside of our community have given him a lot of pushback for wanting one because we are more modern than they are (I.e. I wear colors, and we have wi-fi). He really wants one still, but he's so concerned about what everyone else would think. He thought about asking the rav for his opinion, but I feel like this is such a personal choice.

Should I just buy it for him while we are in NY? I really would like it to happen before our little one iy"h arrives in July/August so he can wear it for the bris.

tigerwife

Sun, Mar 21 2021, 10:54 pm

Quote:

because we are more modern than they are (I.e. I wear colors, and we have wi-fi).

Many, many shtreimel-wearing chassidim wear colors and have wifi!

amother

Cyan

Sun, Mar 21 2021, 10:57 pm

Are you chassidish? Does his family wear a shtraimel? Does he wear a bekisha on shabbos? I do think this is something he should discuss with his Rav.
You can't buy him a shtraimel. He has to go to the store to get fitted and try it on.

amother

Forestgreen

Sun, Mar 21 2021, 10:59 pm

Shtreimel-wearers run the gamut from extremely chassidish to chassidish lite; I'm not sure what you mean by wearing colors, but there are people who look very chassidish with shtreimels and people who look more modern with shtreimels. Either way, a shtreimel generally signifies attachment with a certain community, hashkafa, or family background.

I think the question you have to ask is:
Do you and/or DH have chassidish roots, leanings, or affiliation? Another thing to consider: Does anyone in your circles wear a shtreimel, or will DH be the only guy in shul with one?

Most people don't change levush at the drop of a hat, so if he does choose to put on a shtreimel, that would generally be a long-term decision. Is that something you are both comfortable with?

Side note: a shtreimel is custom-made (usually), so it's not something you can buy for him. He would have to get fitted for one himself. Also, the price tag can be a source of sticker-shock: cheap shtreimels start at close to $1000, and can go up to $6000

amother

Sun, Mar 21 2021, 11:01 pm

We are Chassidish. My husband is a BT and wears a bekishe on shabbos.

And yes, I realize he would have to be fitted, but he is going to be with me when we are shopping.

Last edited by amother on Sun, Mar 21 2021, 11:12 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Cyan

Sun, Mar 21 2021, 11:04 pm

(Just making you aware that your OP is amother and this post is under your screen name.)
If you're chassidish and he wears a bekisha, I don't see an issue with him wearing a shtreimel.