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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers
Lying at age two



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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Apr 01 2021, 8:18 am
In the last couple of weeks we've seen a surge of independence and contrariness from our 2.5 year old. In an older child, I would say lying and chutzpah, but at this age it feels more like exploration. I'm just not sure how to appropriately deal with it.

There's the normal two-year-old flaunting of rules and going about things his own way. But then there's the added layer of bald prevarication. He sneaks a piece of chocolate off the table and when asked how he got the chocolate in his hand he answers in a tone of puzzlement: "I not have choclate." When told he could not have any more candy, he grabbed a green jelly fruit slice from the other room and when I came in he explained to me that "This pepper is good for me" as he took a bite right in front of me. He ran over someone's foot with his bike and when told to apologize for hurting the person, he insisted it never happened.

Is this a normal toddler thing? I remember the "terrible twos" manifesting more as tantrums with my other kids and the "lying" phase coming in closer to four. How does one mechanech a two year old about lying? He absolutely digs in to his version of reality when pressed.
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amother
Orange


 

Post Thu, Apr 01 2021, 8:22 am
Yes, it's normal. And it's a wonderful cognitive step. It shows that he understands you don't know everything that he knows. Enjoy how funny it is.
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amother
Smokey


 

Post Thu, Apr 01 2021, 8:36 am
He sounds like he’s more high spirited than your other kids. I would read the Mary sheedy kurcinka book. He’s only getting started. He sounds adorable though!
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amother
Violet


 

Post Thu, Apr 01 2021, 8:37 am
Yes it's normal at this age
Also be conscious to correct his behavior gently. Not to shame him or shout or back him into a corner if he does something wrong.
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amother
OP


 

Post Thu, Apr 01 2021, 8:58 am
amother [ Violet ] wrote:
Yes it's normal at this age
Also be conscious to correct his behavior gently. Not to shame him or shout or back him into a corner if he does something wrong.


Thanks -- that's exactly what I was worried about. I have mostly been ignoring it -- accepting his version of events for the most part or just moving on, but I was wondering whether that was appropriate.
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amother
Oak


 

Post Thu, Apr 01 2021, 9:06 am
Hi I agree, totally normal. My son is younger than that and doing it too. I gently correct his version of events and laugh about it in my head. He definitely knows, hes "lying" as he is capable of telling things EXACTLY as they occured otherwise. And of course, it typically happens when he does something wrong/he shouldn't be, or snacks are involved. Hes getting more and more clever about it. I really agree that it demonstrates a cognitive advance. Wouldn't worry about disciplining just yet. Just help re- narrate the story. Or sometimes I'll say "oh really?" "Oh yeah? That happened like that? Hmm are you sure?" And hell catch on himself.
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