Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Parenting our children
Dependent child in their 20s, living at home, how much money
Previous  1  2



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 06 2021, 9:47 pm
amother [ Fuchsia ] wrote:
You seem to have issues with that. I’m sorry your childhood/Young Adult years didn’t look like that. It really is a lovely privilege and a gift to be able to give your children.


Wow, I see it almost the polar opposite!

As I see it, the best gift I can give my young adults is the confidence that comes from knowing you can handle responsibility. Paying one's own way, even when under a parental roof, offers a really good start in life.

If a young adult has a disability impeding that goal, then offering the therapeutic and executive functioning support necessary to move forward seems to me the kindest, most loving way. Not giving an allowance to further the stagnation.
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Apr 06 2021, 10:37 pm
imasinger wrote:
If a young adult has a disability impeding that goal, then offering the therapeutic and executive functioning support necessary to move forward seems to me the kindest, most loving way. Not giving an allowance to further the stagnation.


After many years of patience, working with multiple therapists, its easy to give advice from afar.
Back to top

amother
Mint


 

Post Tue, Apr 06 2021, 11:37 pm
I’d say around $300
Back to top

amother
Plum


 

Post Tue, Apr 06 2021, 11:45 pm
Is he eating meals with you? What does he need money for?
Back to top

amother
Hotpink


 

Post Tue, Apr 06 2021, 11:49 pm
If you live in tri state area, she can be eligible for her own food stamps case. With no expenses she would get about 100 dollars a month. Now with covid I know some are recieving more. That could be a big help
Back to top

amother
Yellow


 

Post Tue, Apr 06 2021, 11:49 pm
Can this child work at all?
Would the incentive of purchasing some “ extra” motivate this child to do anything?
If yes, then maybe start at the lower end and encourage to fill in the difference.
I’ve watched this struggle up close.
May you and your child find menuchas hanefesh and all the blessings He has.
Back to top

Aurora




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 5:49 pm
I've seen this from the other end.

Currently, I have a brother in law who was allowed to be dependent on his parents for his whole life. My mechutanim are now dead. We have helped some, but I feel very resentful. He is also struggling.

If you expect your child to outlive you, then please help your child become independent now.
Back to top

advocate




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 5:54 pm
OP, it's clear you are really thinking things through.

Would this child be eligible to open an ABLE account?

Get vocational training?

Other supports?

I would love to brainstorm with you, if you feel comfortable.
Back to top

amother
Goldenrod


 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 5:55 pm
my older brother still lives at home, he's around f40, no real job. I worry what will be with him Sad
Back to top

dankbar




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 6:57 pm
Govt counts $50 per person for food weekly (non kosher )
Back to top

imasinger




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 7:22 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
After many years of patience, working with multiple therapists, its easy to give advice from afar.


Believe me, I'm familiar!

Does he have a diagnosis?
Back to top

amother
Forestgreen


 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 7:40 pm
amother [ Goldenrod ] wrote:
my older brother still lives at home, he's around f40, no real job. I worry what will be with him Sad


My brother is 47 I don’t know what’s going to be with him.

Parents in this situation somehow make sure that these adult children are set upto live on their own.. don’t make it your other childrens problem
Back to top

Petra




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 07 2021, 9:18 pm
I was going to say more like $300 a month but maybe it should be $200 and then $100 in a money market fund of some kind for later for some years down the road.

And some arrangement such as weekly chores/odd jobs around the house. Or continual outside effort at a useful marketable skill of some kind.

Or maybe attempt at disability or social worker and/or vocational rehab program.
Back to top
Page 2 of 2 Previous  1  2 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Parenting our children

Related Topics Replies Last Post
I am emotionally disconnected from my child
by amother
17 Today at 9:49 am View last post
Shana Rishona - living separately / 2 cities 16 Yesterday at 1:49 am View last post
How do people make money?
by amother
11 Yesterday at 12:35 am View last post
Child Tooth Ache- Pediatric Dentist
by Bruria
2 Wed, Mar 27 2024, 8:17 pm View last post
Podiatrist for ingrown toenail on child
by amother
1 Wed, Mar 27 2024, 3:23 pm View last post