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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
8 yr old asking about relations



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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Apr 13 2021, 12:15 am
My daughter found out that an unmarried teen had a baby and is now scared that she could have one. I told her it can't happen but she keeps asking why not and how.
Is it too young for her to know what relations are? Just the basics of course. I know in secular society, it isn't too young. In our frum world, I'm worried it will be too much for her. She is not crazy sheltered, we do have a TV but I'm still scared this is too young. She is very mature and always asks questions like why some people have more or less kids or no kids etc. For those with curious kids, do you tell them earlier or just dodge their questions?
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Tue, Apr 13 2021, 12:16 am
I would tell her in this case. You don't want her to fear that it can just happen to her. You don't even have to go into great detail. Just the basics of needing a man's seed.
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challahchallah




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 13 2021, 1:59 am
If she’s that curious, she’s going to keep looking for answers. You want her to find out from you and not another source both so you can control the messaging and so that she continues to come to you with questions going forward. You should obviously talk to her in an age appropriate way, but it sounds like it’s time she learned some of the basics.
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Tue, Apr 13 2021, 2:10 am
Explain the very basics, but say that it is not considered appropriate to talk about it.
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Tue, Apr 13 2021, 2:12 am
The fear of spontaneous pregnancy is much more damaging than an accurate explanation of why it is not possible.
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4g01o




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 13 2021, 3:17 am
Just say you need a man's seed to get pregnant and it will only happen when she's married iyh.
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amother
Burgundy


 

Post Tue, Apr 13 2021, 3:30 am
Call a mechanech who shares your hashkafa in general and ask him/her what to say or do.
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essie14




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 13 2021, 11:17 am
amother [ Pumpkin ] wrote:
The fear of spontaneous pregnancy is much more damaging than an accurate explanation of why it is not possible.

This!

OP, maybe read or listen to rachel tuchman and elisheva liss to get some ideas.

If shes asking so much she needs to know some basics.
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tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 13 2021, 11:38 am
You can also explain that a girl needs to go through puberty before she can get pregnant
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sequoia




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 13 2021, 11:51 am
Remember that scene in Bridgerton where Penelope and Eloise are freaking out that it could happen to them?
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