When do kids find out what happens at a bris?

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

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amother

Wed, Apr 14 2021, 11:43 am

Is it taught in school when they learn about Avraham Avinu? Do you tell them? I was talking about a bris with my son who is 7 and he thinks it's just a kiddush but for a boy. I wasn't sure if then was the time to educate him or now.

Iymnok

Wed, Apr 14 2021, 11:45 am

When they squish to the front!

amother

Bronze

Wed, Apr 14 2021, 11:48 am

I told my 5 year old girl when she asked

Chayalle

Wed, Apr 14 2021, 11:58 am

Yeah I remember being at the bris of a friend's son with DD when she was around 5 or so....and Miss Curious edged to the windows of the women's section to see. I explained it to her then, explained that the baby is okay, that there are lots of medical-type procedures babies get and they are ok....shots, earrings, and even surgeries....also that babies scream when their diapers are changed, or for no apparent reason at all....

FranticFrummie

Wed, Apr 14 2021, 12:32 pm

For boys, I'm pretty sure they find out what happens in 8 days. LOL

I don't think DD ever asked me about this, but I've been open with her about everything else, so if it came up I'm sure I told her the truth.

professor

Wed, Apr 14 2021, 12:52 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I think (just my opinion, so take it or leave it) that the less we hide from our children, the better it will be. I always knew what they do at a bris, and so did my kids. If we talk about anything in an honest way, it shouldn't be a problem.

Think about it: kids are learning Torah at age 3. akeidas yitzhak is easier to teach? Should we "change" the Torah to make it gentler? Kids can handle much more than we give them credit for.

ShishKabob

Wed, Apr 14 2021, 12:53 pm

Iymnok wrote:

When they squish to the front!

I love this answer, because it's probably the truest one!

wiki

Wed, Apr 14 2021, 12:54 pm

I told my four-year-old when he asked.

His older sister had asked, around the same age, when her tiny new baby's parts didn't look the same as her toddler brother's parts.

In our house this is not secret information. (Nor is spoken about all that much--the kids don't find this information terribly interesting.)

amother

Bisque

Wed, Apr 14 2021, 12:57 pm

Iymnok wrote:

When they squish to the front!

So true!! My boys figured it out at a young age from watching. One of them was fascinated and made sure he had good visibility at future ones, while the other was grossed out and didn't watch the next bris. All good Very Happy

amother

Olive

Wed, Apr 14 2021, 1:05 pm

I found it hard to explain properly, because I never really knew the details.

Years later when I was in nursing school (in Israel) we happened to be treating a man who had never had a Brit. He was unconscious and had very advanced dementia, so he was completely unaware of his surroundings. Since he needed a catheter anyway, our teacher took us all into the room to demonstrate, and took advantage of the situation to give us a basic anatomy lesson.

I was so glad to finally know what was removed! My explanations to a child remained at the level of 'removing an extra piece of skin', but at least I knew what I was talking about and if necessary could answer more detailed questions as they grew older.

amother

Floralwhite

Wed, Apr 14 2021, 2:00 pm

My very young kids asked when a family member made a bris. Answered honestly that hashem makes boy babies with an extra piece of skin on their eivar and the mitzvah of bris mila is to remove it when the baby is 8 days old. The baby doesn't remember the pain, the mohel knows what he's doing and all involved get a huge mitzvah. What a zchus.

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