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Forum -> Children's Health
Anxiety due to anaphylaxis
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bnm




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 14 2021, 12:55 am
Knowing the allergens is half the battle. For us it was a huge unknown in the beginning. A lot of trial and error. Figuring out where we can eat. Which grocery carried which product that was allergen free. It did take time to adjust and learn. I also had to deal with people who didn't 'believe in allergies'.

You will get there. 1 day at a time.
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Bas Yisrael




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 14 2021, 3:44 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I think part of the reason why I feel this anxiety is that all you Imas sound so organized and on top of things, whereas Im not so together, and won't always remember to wipe, rinse, put away etc. Immediately...

A few months ago, one of my kids drank chocolate milk and left his cup half full on a chair. I saw it but didn't spill it out right away. The baby went over to the chair, knocked over the cup and started licking the chocolate milk from the floor. I was in the next room but got there a minute later just in time to catch him vomiting his whole breakfast, and then break out in hives. It happened so fast.

By nature I'm just not so organized. That's why I feel so helpless, like it's just a matter of time until the next one... Sad

(I do know where the benadryl and EpiPen are, and I've gotten much more careful about not going anywhere without the epipen. I also am more on top of controlling the chocolate milk situation- dont let my kids take alone, etc.)


My teenager was highly allergic since she was a few weeks old. Make it easier on yourself by avoiding to bring these things into the house so you can sleep peacefully without needing to worry about being organized or in control. It was definitely easier for us that we didn’t have older kids used to multiple food groups, but my husband and I gave up on plenty and avoided bringing it into our house to be on the safe side. So, for instance we only had dairy in a restaurant or at someone else’s house. Also, kids who struggle themselves learn real fast and will adapt to avoid uncomfortable or dangerous situations. My mother babysat during the infant years then I stopped working. For pre-school, I packed lunch every day and tried to cook extra for supper the night before so I have a nourishing lunch the next day, plus I added something extra. I had these cute insulated containers that would keep the food warm. Also, I was approved for a shadow (aka PARA?) to “babysit” while the class eats lunch or snack (during the preschool years). It’s very common in many schools. Eventually, my child learned and will still avoid questionable foods to be safe. I still have anxiety about camp and hold my breath all 4 weeks. I try to make sure the staff are informed but I’m practicing to trust in Hashem that I do my hishtadlus and the rest is not up to me. Believe me, giving up control after doing my due diligence is tougher than not having real cheesecake in my house for years. (Now I make both. It gets easier as they get older.)
I find that today’s day and age, there’s an abundance of alternatives to literally every type of food. I recently bought the new healthy cookbook... so many options for dairy free, egg free, gluten free, nut free... Pesach is harder because it’s all eggs and nuts... but still there are options. If I were you, I would tell your kids, that everyone needs to give up on something for their siblings. Some people move to faraway places because it benefits someone in the family, others have a sibling that isn’t well etc. This is your sibling and the safety of one is a goal for all. So you can’t have cows milk or a peanut butter sandwich etc. at home. This is what we need to do as a family. The younger kids adapt, the older ones learn how to give up for one another (which is great for their future marriages’, by the way. 😃 ) But like I said, as the years go on, it’s possible to bring most food items back into the house if the danger isn’t airborne.
Wishing you lots of luck and hoping it will get easier. By the way, many kids outgrow some or all of their allergies as they get older.
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amother
Wheat


 

Post Wed, Apr 14 2021, 7:49 am
bnm wrote:
I also had to deal with people who didn't 'believe in allergies'.


Off topic, but OMG these people are the worst! Talking to them makes me want to punch a hole through the wall. Punch
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amother
Mint


 

Post Wed, Apr 14 2021, 8:57 am
amother [ Wheat ] wrote:
Off topic, but OMG these people are the worst! Talking to them makes me want to punch a hole through the wall. Punch


Let’s not forget to include the people who blame it on vaccines and/or formula Banging head
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Apr 14 2021, 10:36 am
amother [ Mint ] wrote:
Let’s not forget to include the people who blame it on vaccines and/or formula Banging head


They don't know any bettwr. You can't really blame them.
I was one of those mothers who would send granola bars or wafars that said "made in a facility that also processes peanuts", and the teacher would return it. I thought it was overblown. If you aren't living with it, you dont really get it.
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Apr 14 2021, 10:42 am
Speaking of anxiety...
About 2 hours ago, my allergic child vomited his whole breakfast out of the blue. I am certain that he did not eat any of his allergens. Yet it sent me into a tizzy with calling the doctor and waiting an hour for a response. The last time he had an anaphylactic reaction, it started with vomiting as well, and we had no idea why (still dont). He seems fine but I have no idea why he vomited and I am just keeping him under observation.
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amother
Plum


 

Post Wed, Apr 14 2021, 12:31 pm
I’m so sorry op! I hope it gets easier.
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amother
Wine


 

Post Wed, Apr 14 2021, 12:36 pm
We had to get a kitchen gate and never kept food in arms reach even with a step stool or chair in case they'd climb up. Now at 3yo she knows exactly what she can have and we are used to keeping food off of counters, kitchen table and easy to reach shelves. We do intentionally put snacks that they can have on the lower shelves so they still have that freedom and can make choices etc.
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amother
Wine


 

Post Wed, Apr 14 2021, 12:38 pm
amother [ Mint ] wrote:
Let’s not forget to include the people who blame it on vaccines and/or formula Banging head


Anything that disrupts the gut can be a contributor to allergies-manybtimes those can contribute. Anyways, this comment was really uncalled for.
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amother
Tan


 

Post Wed, Apr 14 2021, 1:12 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Speaking of anxiety...
About 2 hours ago, my allergic child vomited his whole breakfast out of the blue. I am certain that he did not eat any of his allergens. Yet it sent me into a tizzy with calling the doctor and waiting an hour for a response. The last time he had an anaphylactic reaction, it started with vomiting as well, and we had no idea why (still dont). He seems fine but I have no idea why he vomited and I am just keeping him under observation.

I think “medical ptsd” is a blessing in disguise... yes, we might overreact sometimes and be somewhat anxious. But if you’re generally not an anxious person, I don’t think you should be bothered by this.
I have a kid with a medical condition and because I’m so on the alert for any signs of fever/illness I’ve preempted some major infections. Yes, I’m neurotic about checking temperatures and monitoring little colds etc, but I’m pretty much a step ahead of the (very kind, very supportive) doctors.

I know this is a very different situation, but wanted to share my perspective on this ptsd/anxiety. Bh things have gotten easier, less anxious as things stabilized somewhat medically, but I’m still very much on top of things we still have very unexpected situations...
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amother
Tan


 

Post Wed, Apr 14 2021, 1:19 pm
For the garbage situation- would it help to put tuna cans and other “allergy” garbage in a knotted storage or garbage bag before disposing? Or is your child the type to open that too? Or can you keep a shopping bag in the sink where you put this ‘genre’ of garbage and dispose at end of day? Just a thought, not sure how practical it would be in your setup though...
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bnm




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 14 2021, 5:53 pm
amother [ Mint ] wrote:
Let’s not forget to include the people who blame it on vaccines and/or formula Banging head


They where horrified when I told them the kid never had formula. LOL
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Bas Yisrael




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Apr 14 2021, 6:20 pm
How about the people who blame it on emotions? I didn’t know how to respond when my child was having a serious reaction and a bystander said: “allergies show an internal emotional issue is exploding... it’s all in the mind. If you talk your mind out of it, it will go away...” That wasn’t funny.
You can definitely listen, if people have good advice when you’re open and interested. But use imaginative ear plugs when hearing nonsense...
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amother
Tan


 

Post Wed, Apr 14 2021, 6:31 pm
Bas Yisrael wrote:
How about the people who blame it on emotions? I didn’t know how to respond when my child was having a serious reaction and a bystander said: “allergies show an internal emotional issue is exploding... it’s all in the mind. If you talk your mind out of it, it will go away...” That wasn’t funny.
You can definitely listen, if people have good advice when you’re open and interested. But use imaginative ear plugs when hearing nonsense...

Totally. I got this cr@p from someone when my child was born with a major congenital issue. Don’t ask Rolling Eyes
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Apr 14 2021, 6:32 pm
Bas Yisrael wrote:
How about the people who blame it on emotions? I didn’t know how to respond when my child was having a serious reaction and a bystander said: “allergies show an internal emotional issue is exploding... it’s all in the mind. If you talk your mind out of it, it will go away...” That wasn’t funny.
You can definitely listen, if people have good advice when you’re open and interested. But use imaginative ear plugs when hearing nonsense...


Someone really said that to you??? So my 6 month old son's entire face blew up after eating bamba because if an internal emotional issue??
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amother
Orchid


 

Post Wed, Apr 14 2021, 7:02 pm
We put all our eggs back into the container and then throw out the entire container at once so we don't have random eggshells all over the place.
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Bas Yisrael




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 11:45 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Someone really said that to you??? So my 6 month old son's entire face blew up after eating bamba because if an internal emotional issue??

I got busy and didn’t have a chance to reply to your question sooner. Here goes:

Yes, of course. You can’t make these things up. We had a whole discussion where I listened to her theory. That there must be underlying emotional issues, blah blah. When I said my daughter had her first reaction at just 2 1/2 months, she said that’s because my unresolved emotional issues came out in her. Whatever. I do believe that a mother’s well being has an effect on the child. I’m also a big proponent of natural healing & vitamin supplements, etc. But when a child has an allergic reaction, you give Benadryl/EPI pen (depending on the severity) and call Hatzolah. Inner work is a lifetime process, as is healthy eating, along with whatever else you choose to do for yourself/child. Blaming every problem on this, that or the other won’t get you anywhere. Some people think that since emotional health or vaccines came into use, Hashem stopped running the world. There were always sick people physically or mentally/emotionally & people died since Chava ate from the Eitz Hadas. Just do what you can to help yourself and stop finding reasons for why things happened.
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