Wedding invitations for OOT wedding

amother

Thu, Apr 15 2021, 12:37 pm

B'H my son is engaged to a girl who lives over 2 hrs away from us. We are making chasuna in her town. Most of our friends and distant relatives will not go so far to attend the chasuna, so we are planning to make a very large sheva brochos (100 + people) in our neighborhood. I am trying to figure out how to send wedding invitations - send everyone regular invitations, and then call and ask if they would rather come to local sheva brochos? Send invitations to both wedding and sheva brochos and ask on response card which one they would rather attend? How to word it nicely ?

amother

Ruby

Thu, Apr 15 2021, 12:39 pm

Don't assume people won't travel. 2 hours for a wedding is not really that big a deal!
A lot of times, the traveling side will pay for a charter bus or van to make it easier for those traveling.

amother

Thu, Apr 15 2021, 12:47 pm

Before covid we would probably rented a coach bus (es), but I have been asking people, and most said they would rather come to local sheva brochos.

amother

Rose

Thu, Apr 15 2021, 12:55 pm

I've never heard of anyone wording it as an "either/or". I think it's odd to tell you guests to choose. IMO, send your chasing invitations, and see how people respond. Many will travel, and you may not even need to make such a large sheva brachos. And if you do make one anyway, there'll be some people who will probably be invited "even though" they travelled for the chasunah too.

amother

Orange

Thu, Apr 15 2021, 12:57 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Send invitations to both wedding and sheva brochos and ask on response card which one they would rather attend? How to word it nicely ?

Yes, send a sheva brochos card with the invitation.

Then, instead of a standard response card (will or will not attend wedding), have three options:

__ will attend wedding
__ will not attend wedding
__ will attend Sheva brochos

You should send this special response card only to your guests, not the other side's (unless you want them to come).

I don't think you should give them a "choice" of only coming to one or the other. Some may come to both, but most will probably be relieved not to have to drive four hours total.

(My ILs did this for my husband's aufruf - sent out a response card including a line about the aufruf)

amother

Indigo

Thu, Apr 15 2021, 1:41 pm

amother [ Rose ] wrote:

I agree with this. Two hours is not so far, IMHO. Wait to see who RSVPs yes for the wedding, then make the plans for the sheva brachos.

SixOfWands

Thu, Apr 15 2021, 2:01 pm

amother [ Indigo ] wrote:

I agree with this. Two hours is not so far, IMHO. Wait to see who RSVPs yes for the wedding, then make the plans for the sheva brachos.

I like the idea of letting people know that there will be local sheva brachos. Some people might feel obligated to travel because they want to participate in the simcha, and will resent doing so if there was a local opportunity to say mazel tov.

Mazel tov.