S/O why are people making such expensive weddings? especiall

Pamela

Fri, Apr 16 2021, 5:31 pm

MYOB

Everyone is entitled to spend and celebrate as they would like. The problem starts when others try to copy and they cant afford. Why cant we learn to be happy for others without casting an evil eye??

amother

Coral

Fri, Apr 16 2021, 6:23 pm

Everyone's being a bit mean. Literally all the Rabbaim have commented on the excessive material spending at every level.

Unfortunately, no one wants to be that person who makes a wedding for $2000, because of the stigma, because the other side has expectations, because friends, because family, because of som many reasons.

But I hear you, OP. I wish people were tznius with regard to spending money as well. As a guest, it's sure fun to enjoy an over-the-top simcha, but it really does send a message and make a lot of people feel bad. I hope to be zocheh to make weddings for all my children, and have them be tasteful, not in-your-face, on the much much cheaper side, and not make anyone feel bad.

amother

Peach

Sat, Apr 17 2021, 2:47 pm

[quote="amother [ Brown ]"]Would you do it in the backyard for your children? Be honest[/quote
If my son and his future wife agree absolutely! I never understood the point of an expensive wedding. I would use the money that I would have spent on a money to help them get started. I have always made very simple simchas pretty much everyone in my home.

amother

Maroon

Sun, Apr 18 2021, 12:29 am

I know someone who made a wedding during covid in a backyard. They rented the house with backyard for a few days(they were coming from oot so anyway had to find sleeping accommodations)
They bought fancy paper goods on Amazon, take out food, a few flowers on each table. Not sure if they had a one man band or a music player.
My son said it was a very nice wedding! They did save a lot of money!
There was so much back and forth about when and where to do the wedding that at that point chassan and kalla didn't care anymore! They just wanted to get married!!

DrMom

Sun, Apr 18 2021, 12:51 am

amother [ Maroon ] wrote:

Yes, this was my working definition of a "backyard covid wedding." I assumed people would use their sukkah folding tables and whatever nice tablecloths they had, pool their folding chair inventory, use nice paper goods, and order fancy take-out.

I was surprised to hear that people hired a caterer and rented tables and chairs and linens for a very small crowd -- obviously that is going to be not very cost-effective for 10-50 people.