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Gentle parenting help!



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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Apr 18 2021, 10:48 am
I love the gentle / positive parenting approach and have been trying hard to implement it.
Dd is two. She’s smart and such a good girl. She listens well (most of the time) and tries hard to do what we ask of her.

We did gentle sleep training with her and she sleeps really well BH.
But recently, she wants me to stay with her until she falls asleep. She wakes up in middle of the night which is a new thing, and again wants us to stay with her until she falls asleep. Shes a light sleeper, so I can’t do anything in the room while I’m with her or she won’t fall asleep. Sometimes it takes her an hour or two to fall asleep!

I had a big fight with my husband and she saw, but we right away both came to her and hugged her and told together that we both love her etc. I’m not sure if this sleeping issue is related, I can’t remember if it started right then or then.

Please, I need advice! I can’t stay with her every night for hours! This is over a week already!
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amother
Dodgerblue


 

Post Sun, Apr 18 2021, 10:51 am
I give my dc a stuffed animal. I give the stuffed animal 10 hugs and kisses and say “the [animal] has hug and kisses from mommy. If you need a hug and a kiss from mommy in middle of the night, ask [animal] for one.”
A night light also helps.
Can you sit outside her bedroom door?
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amother
Seagreen


 

Post Sun, Apr 18 2021, 11:00 am
amother [ Dodgerblue ] wrote:
I give my dc a stuffed animal. I give the stuffed animal 10 hugs and kisses and say “the [animal] has hug and kisses from mommy. If you need a hug and a kiss from mommy in middle of the night, ask [animal] for one.”
A night light also helps.
Can you sit outside her bedroom door?


I've done similar.
I've given child my pillow (with my smell) to sleep on to soothe.
One of my kids favorites was silly. I put on lipstick and give that child a "lipstick kiss" on the back of their hand so the child can see my kiss all night long.
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amother
Dodgerblue


 

Post Sun, Apr 18 2021, 11:01 am
amother [ Seagreen ] wrote:
I've done similar.
I've given child my pillow (with my smell) to sleep on to soothe.
One of my kids favorites was silly. I put on lipstick and give that child a "lipstick kiss" on the back of their hand so the child can see my kiss all night long.


That’s so cute! Reminds me of this book https://www.amazon.com/Kissing.....nodl_
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Apr 18 2021, 12:11 pm
I’ve tried a similar idea. I gave her favorite dolly to keep her company and the throw blanket that she calls “mommy’s blanky”. I tell her from just outside the room that I’m here and if she needs anything she can just tell me

But the minute I step out of her eyesight, she falls to pieces
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Apr 18 2021, 12:18 pm
amother [ Dodgerblue ] wrote:
That’s so cute! Reminds me of this book https://www.amazon.com/Kissing.....nodl_


DD loved that book! Now I take it with me when I go babysitting. All my kids love it.

OP, how verbal is your child? Can you ask her what is bothering her? When DD turned 2, she started having nightmares. The brain's neurological net starts firing more in sleep, and they go through a different sleep cycle than babies do.

I asked DD if there were scary things in her brain when she was sleeping, and she said "yes." I then explained to her what dreams and nightmares were. I told her "When you are asleep, your brain gets bored, so it starts telling stories. You are the boss of your brain. If you don't like the dream, you say 'Brain, that's a bad story. Give me a nice one!' and then your brain will change into a different dream."

(I know that sounds like a complicated concept for a 2yo, but kids can receive language a lot earlier than they can speak it. They understand more than we give them credit for.)

It was so cute when I could hear her say that from that baby monitor. She really felt empowered to tell her brain what to do, because apparently it worked!
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Apr 18 2021, 12:23 pm
FranticFrummie wrote:
DD loved that book! Now I take it with me when I go babysitting. All my kids love it.

OP, how verbal is your child? Can you ask her what is bothering her? When DD turned 2, she started having nightmares. The brain's neurological net starts firing more in sleep, and they go through a different sleep cycle than babies do.

I asked DD if there were scary things in her brain when she was sleeping, and she said "yes." I then explained to her what dreams and nightmares were. I told her "When you are asleep, your brain gets bored, so it starts telling stories. You are the boss of your brain. If you don't like the dream, you say 'Brain, that's a bad story. Give me a nice one!' and then your brain will change into a different dream."

(I know that sounds like a complicated concept for a 2yo, but kids can receive language a lot earlier than they can speak it. They understand more than we give them credit for.)

It was so cute when I could hear her say that from that baby monitor. She really felt empowered to tell her brain what to do, because apparently it worked!


Wow that’s incredible!!
No, she isn’t so verbal Sad she just says yes to anything I ask her.
I honestly can’t tell if she’s really afraid, or if she just likes it when I sit with her.
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