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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
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amother
OP
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 Mon, Apr 19 2021, 3:49 pm
DD8 is very perfectionistic and seems to have habits that display anxiety. I have anxiety and feel that I'm passing this on to her in our interactions. How can I tone it down- and if I do- is there still a chance that she'll get through unscathed? 
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oneofakind
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Mon, Apr 19 2021, 4:07 pm
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Work on your own anxiety will definitely help your child. Books or therapy depending on how severe it is.
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amother
Smokey
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Mon, Apr 19 2021, 5:55 pm
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Just to make you feel better, it’s more likely that she inherited your predisposition to anxiety and perfectionism than that it’s learned behavior for her. That being said, it’s important for you to learn to manage your anxiety so that you can model healthy behaviors for her. With my perfectionist daughter we do a lot of, it’s ok, everybody makes mistakes, it doesn’t have to be perfect, just do your best, mistakes happen, etc. We also addressed some root causes of anxiety like gut health, chronic infections and food intolerances.
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amother
Floralwhite
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Tue, Apr 20 2021, 10:18 am
I think we as parents give ourselves a lot more credit (blame) for our kids' challenges than we deserve.
As the previous poster said, she most likely inherited the gene. But don't go blaming yourself for having passed it down to your child!!
Yes, there are certain behavior patterns that she may have learned from you, and for that, learning how to manage your anxiety will definitely help you be a better model for her. But please don't assign yourself blame; it does neither of you any good.
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