Home
Log in / Sign Up
    Private Messages   Advanced Search   Rules   New User Guide   FAQ   Advertise   Contact Us  
Forum -> Working Women
What do you tell your employer.....



Post new topic   Reply to topic View latest: 24h 48h 72h

amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 6:48 am
What would you tell your employer if you are actually going through a miscarriage, will have a d&c and will need more days to recover?
Do you just tell him/her that you are having a "minor" surgery and need some days to recover, without being specific?

I work in a Jewish organization, mostly men.
Back to top

Teomima




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 6:53 am
I'm so sorry you're going through this.

At the time I did not say anything. My employers didn't know I was pregnant yet. I told them I was ill, I was in the hospital briefly, and needed to take some sick days. In retrospect, however, I wish I had been more open with them. I had a good relationship with my employers but did not yet know how to talk about my miscarriage.

During my next pregnancy I was having issues and was afraid of another m/c and had to take time off for bed rest. At that time I told them everything, including about the previous m/c. They were so kind and understanding.

But of course it depends on how you feel with them.
Back to top

oneofakind




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 6:56 am
Just be vague.
Back to top

singleagain




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 6:56 am
I don't think it shouldn't matter if the organization is Jewish or if the coworkers are male it should matter about your comfort and your knowledge of the rights that you have to be able to take time off without explaining your whole personal life which they are not really entitled to know
Back to top

oneofakind




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 6:59 am
It's different if it's an ongoing situation or will be an extended period of time.
Back to top

amother
Coffee


 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 7:05 am
Firstly, I’m so sorry you’re going through this!

My first miscarriage at my current job, I had my husband tell my boss after I was already a few days out (they know each other from the community) I don’t remember what I did about the next few. My most recent one I told my boss I had a medical situation and had to take off. I think he figured it out based on my history Sad.
If it’s only a few days you can just say something came up etc... but if it’s longer maybe give a drop more info. Like “I’m having a medical situation, but I will be fine iyh.”

On the flip side I’m really happy I told the ladies I work with because it’s nice that when I went back the people I spend all day with know what I’ve been through.
Back to top

amother
Vermilion


 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 7:06 am
I did, but I was back at work day after d&c (fwiw) I’m sorry for your loss
Back to top

tichellady




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 7:08 am
I’m sorry! It’s up to you. You can be vague or share more, whatever you feel more comfortable with
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 7:19 am
Thanks for the suggestion. I’m not open with my employer and nobody knows I’m pregnant at work. So if I say a have a medical condition, I hope he won’t think anything COVID because we’re living during this time and when someone says he’s sick, right away people think COVID.
Back to top

amother
Coffee


 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 7:24 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Thanks for the suggestion. I’m not open with my employer and nobody knows I’m pregnant at work. So if I say a have a medical condition, I hope he won’t think anything COVID because we’re living during this time and when someone says he’s sick, right away people think COVID.


You can say something like “it’s something medical. But don’t worry not COVID related” with a smile, cuz we all know that that is on people’s minds.
Back to top

groovy1224




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 7:31 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Thanks for the suggestion. I’m not open with my employer and nobody knows I’m pregnant at work. So if I say a have a medical condition, I hope he won’t think anything COVID because we’re living during this time and when someone says he’s sick, right away people think COVID.


Just say you are having a procedure done, and will need a few days recovery time.

I'm sorry for your loss, OP.
Back to top

allthingsblue




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 7:31 am
I would say I'll be out for medical reasons for a few days.

Physically I could have gone back to work the next day; but you might need some time to recover emotionally.
Back to top

amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 7:45 am
allthingsblue wrote:
I would say I'll be out for medical reasons for a few days.

Physically I could have gone back to work the next day; but you might need some time to recover emotionally.

I’m hoping recovery won’t be so bad but I’m just preparing incase I need to take some time off. Unfortunately, emotionally it has been very difficult the last couple of weeks but I still went to work
Back to top

amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 7:47 am
I said I was dealing with an urgent medical issue and will be back on x day. You’re not required to share any details.
Back to top

amother
Lilac


 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 8:10 am
I’m sorry for your loss. I just looked up the email I sent when I was going through this a few months ago.

Quote:
Dear [boss],

I had a non-contagious medical issue crop up, so I need so I need to take a sick day tomorrow to take care of it. I’ll still be on slack and email if you need anything.

Sorry for the inconvenience,
Back to top

zaq




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 8:34 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
What would you tell your employer if you are actually going through a miscarriage, will have a d&c and will need more days to recover?
.


Absolutely NOT. Your medical condition is none of your employer's business. Just say you're going to have a medical procedure and will need X days of sick leave.
Back to top

amother
Purple


 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 8:36 am
I just told my employer that a small medical situation came up and I would need to take off but I would hopefully be back on x day.
I think it largely depends on what sort of relationship you have with your boss and if you feel comfortable talking about it with him/her. But you don't have to feel like you have to say what exactly the situation. That is private and you only need to share if you feel comfortable doing it
Back to top

amother
Black


 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 8:41 am
Hug
Tell them you have a procedure scheduled on 0x/0x/2021, and will be able to come back to work on 0y/0y/2021.
Refuah shleimah
Back to top

Goody2shoes




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 8:42 am
I missed right before succos so that made missing work somewhat simpler.
I ended up telling my employer(Woman)on advice of DH and even though it was hard and awkward she was really understanding. It felt good knowing that there's one person in the office who knew and was sort of looking out for me
Back to top

amother
Babypink


 

Post Tue, Apr 20 2021, 8:52 am
Depends on what YOU want to say
I didn’t say anything, went into work as usual.
I was told I didn’t look myself and asked if Im alright and if I wanted to go home. I said “yeah I had m/c last night” they asked why I felt the need to come in and that it was okay to take off and be home. But I just explained that I didn’t want to be home alone thinking about things and would rather work. They always kept an eye on my well-being after that. In a discreet and kind way.
You can say whatever works for you. If you say what happened, it’s more likely that they’ll be able to understand and be sympathetic, but do whatever works for you.
Back to top
Page 1 of 1 Recent Topics




Post new topic   Reply to topic    Forum -> Working Women

Related Topics Replies Last Post
Help!! My employer has fleas!
by amother
5 Sat, Aug 19 2023, 6:56 pm View last post
Can I be on jerseycare AND my employer’s health insurance?
by amother
3 Mon, Jun 12 2023, 8:56 am View last post