Xh reaching out...for...

amother

Wed, Apr 21 2021, 8:32 pm

A COPY OF THE GET HE LOST!!!!!!!!!!!
is that normal??? call beis din, what in heavens is he thinking... im finding this highly inappropriate

Hatemywig

Wed, Apr 21 2021, 8:39 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

person who called me- I told her he should call beis din. she told me im being mean

You're not being mean. He is an adult, he can pick up a phone/send an email.

amother

Cobalt

Wed, Apr 21 2021, 8:42 pm

I don’t know all the details here but... I would also think it’s mean. What is the big deal about making a copy of your get for him?

I would definitely do it for mine and I’m pretty sure (but not positive 😏) that he would for me.

imasinger

Wed, Apr 21 2021, 8:44 pm

amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:

Same here.

amother

Natural

Wed, Apr 21 2021, 8:45 pm

If you're sharing custody and have a decent relationship coparenting, don't ruin that and help him if he needs a favor.
If you have no contact, no need to start now and have him find his way to bais din.

amother

Cobalt

Wed, Apr 21 2021, 8:47 pm

amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:

To add to my previous post... untangling our lives took a lot of helping each other out with sharing documents and information ... I don’t see why this is so shockingly inappropriate. Over the years, either/both of us have misplaced or lost access to something the other one had... it happens!

amother

Amethyst

Wed, Apr 21 2021, 8:52 pm

I have never been divorced so not speaking with any kind of personal experience.
Op said someone else called her for it. Not xh himself. That is telling. If he needs a favor from her the lease he should do is make contact on his own.

amother

Emerald

Wed, Apr 21 2021, 8:59 pm

Something's not adding up. I don't remember getting a Get document- they tear it up immediately after it's done.

amother

Lawngreen

Wed, Apr 21 2021, 9:01 pm

Op,I totally get you. My ex asked me for the date of our legal divorce because he needed to fill out his new marriage license. I didn’t know it offhand, and just ignored it. Then he had someone contact me to ask me and when I told the mediator I don’t know, he demanded to know how I could’ve gotten my new marriage license without knowing it. I actually hadn’t gotten my new marriage license! I was like, Mr. I am no longer your wife if you haven’t noticed ! You need to figure things out without me these days!

amother

Jade

Wed, Apr 21 2021, 9:03 pm

amother [ Cobalt ] wrote:

It really depends on how fresh the divorce is and the atmosphere between the 2. If things haven't settled yet into calm coparenting and things are still acrimonious then I can understand the hesitation and the surprise...

amother

Wed, Apr 21 2021, 9:03 pm

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

Something's not adding up. I don't remember getting a Get document- they tear it up immediately after it's done.

huh? what do you mean tear it up?
I got a copy from bais din, and they said they are holding the original one in bais din...

anyway, we have absolutely no contact, no kids.
I happen to be going through an extremely stressful time in my life now, and the person who called knows. im really annoyed at that person for being so tactless. now I have to send it to his father, not even to him.... very telling

amother

Chartreuse

Wed, Apr 21 2021, 9:03 pm

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

Something's not adding up. I don't remember getting a Get document- they tear it up immediately after it's done.

You get a shtar.

amother

Jade

Wed, Apr 21 2021, 9:11 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I hear you. I’m sorry.
If the person knew you are going through a hard time and still called you and then called you “mean” it hurts extra hard.
And asking for a Get is usually a sign of him moving on with his next marriage so its an extra shtoch!
I do find people insensitive in loads of areas..

May Hashem give you koach!

amother

Maroon

Wed, Apr 21 2021, 9:14 pm

I'm not sure what the issue is.

I'm not divorced but I was once fired from work. They would call me even months later asking me where files are and what did we do about this last year etc.

I never had an issue with helping them

seeker

Wed, Apr 21 2021, 9:15 pm

amother [ Emerald ] wrote:

Something's not adding up. I don't remember getting a Get document- they tear it up immediately after it's done.

They are supposed to give you a receipt or document attesting that they did the get. You don't get the get itself, but it's what you would show to someone if you need to prove that you were divorced with a get.

amother

Cobalt

Wed, Apr 21 2021, 10:07 pm

amother [ Amethyst ] wrote:

It’s very common in divorce cases (including in my own where I would have no problem giving a copy of my get) for the two ex spouses not to communicate directly with each other.

amother

Saddlebrown

Wed, Apr 21 2021, 10:20 pm

amother [ Maroon ] wrote:

The fired you and then called and asked you questions? I’m sorry but that weird.