Saving up for kids/ weddings

amother

Thu, Apr 29 2021, 10:37 am

My children are young and iyH family is still growing. I would like to start putting away money for kids weddings, furniture. It will be in quite a few years iyH so there will be price changes/ inflation. I am wondering roughly how much a wedding in NY costs? How much should I expect the wedding, simchas, apartment set ups to cost?

doctorima

Thu, Apr 29 2021, 10:54 am

It varies widely by the norms in each community. The best would be to ask some family or friends in your community who've recently made simchas for a ballpark range of what it cost. Otherwise, tell us a little more about what group you identify with, and hopefully we can give a rough estimate.

amother

Fuchsia

Thu, Apr 29 2021, 10:57 am

I’m wondering which is better.
To save to a specific number?
Or to save what you can afford.

We put away a set amount per child a month.
My oldest is 15 and his fund is doing really well. Prob not enough to make a wedding. But enough that will help tremendously. So we stopped putting in. This allowed us to keep putting in for younger kids. Otherwise saving for 6 kids is hard.
I’d say figure out how much you can save. And re-evaluate as time goes along how much you can add or subtract.
Having too much in my opinion isn’t a bad thing bec it can be used by couple toward car. Or down payment. Or monthly support.

I think 60-100k per kid would be a generous goal.

amother

Thu, Apr 29 2021, 11:18 am

Thank you for your responses.
I am from NY ( intown) we live a balabatish lifestyle and plan on making balabatish simchas.
Fuchs, it sounds like you started putting away money towards the same goal. Is there a way to put away money into some sort of account in the most beneficial way for tax purposes?

amother

Thu, Apr 29 2021, 11:20 am

And obviously it will only be an amount I can afford. I asked for a goal so I can calculate roughly how much a specific amount would return in x amount of years. Obviously, there is not such thing as too much money out away but Id rather not go way overboard with this amount and use the excess money for a different purpose.

amother

Bronze

Thu, Apr 29 2021, 11:40 am

Friends of our in Flatbush married off their last child a few years ago. The husband commented to DH that while he had budgeted 50k for his previous daughters, prices had gone up and this one cost 60k.

This was all inclusive of everything, from the engagement to the apartment set up, with the vort, wedding, Shabbos sheva berachos, and gifts along the way. This was also for a daughter; sons would be different.

Knowing them, I'd say their "level" was a little below what most would call balebatish in our circles. With the constant rise of prices, I would assume that the comparable figure for a balebatish wedding in Flatbush today would be 80-100k.

Yes, I know many people's jaws will drop at that figure, but that's the going rate in Flatbush balebatish circles that OP asked for.

amother

Fuchsia

Thu, Apr 29 2021, 11:52 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

We do a direct deposit into Vanguard account monthly. I like monthly bec this way you put in through market fluctuations. And direct deposit is good bec it just happens.

Accounts are in our children’s name which could help financially depending on your situation. We’ve had to pay taxes when earnings were very high (which is a good thing). However when they turn 18 they have full access to money. You have to hope they will leave it and not touch it.

amother

Bisque

Thu, Apr 29 2021, 12:04 pm

agree with previous poster. we also do direct deposit to vanguard in the kids names and yes they've had to file taxes on it.

Oldest

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 10:02 am

When my son was born, the first thing dh and I did was open a bank account for him. Every month we deposit a set amount of money in it. We set it up to go automatically so it's not even something we think about. Right now, the plan is not to save a specific amount, just to have money put aside for the future. We plan on upping the amount as our finances allow and we plan on doing this for all our future children

tichellady

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 11:19 am

There is no way to know who your child will marry, if it will be someone from a wealthy family who wants to pay for the whole thing, or an orphan without means, and all sorts of families in between . All the weddings in my family cost my parents very different amounts and were also different styles