UPDATED Should preschoolers know about Meron? Class today

amother

Mustard

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 5:36 am

I would not necessarily have told my preschooler but she was there when I told my middle schooler this morning. I had to tell her because there are girls in her grade who had brothers there and she was sure to hear about it so I wanted her to hear it from me first. B"H as far as I know all the boys from our area are ok but the parents were understandably freaking out last night until they could confirm that so I'm sure the younger kids heard more than they maybe should have.

miami85

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 5:38 am

Do we tell our preschoolers about the tragedies that took place from pesach until Lag B'omer when 24,000 people died? For not treating each other with respect? I mean, sure we teach them "v'ahavta l'reiacha camocha" but do we teach them the extent of the tragedy? Do we enforce the mourning of sefira on them? No. My husband's grandfather passed away in Adar, and the funeral was the same day as their school's purim celebration. They were not a direct conflict and I told my husband, they nor my husband have no obligation on mourning, but they may resent the rest of their lives if they didn't go to the annual father-son event. We do not subject young children to mourning they don't understand. When my husband's aunt passed away suddenly, during an event where they had been promised that they would go swimming, they didn't understand the tragedy, they just understood that they didn't get to go swimming, so I took them the next day.

imasinger

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 5:42 am

OK, responses vary greatly.

I will go in early and consult with individual classroom teachers on how they're handling it, and follow suit.

FWIW, all my classes in all my schools, except the 2 year olds, know that during sefira in the times of R Akiva, students of his were dying because of l"h, and on Lag Baomer they stopped dying. That's taught in MO, Chabad, and yeshivish schools.

amother

Firebrick

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 6:14 am

Zehava wrote:

If you don’t tell them they’ll hear a bunch of nonsense from friends

I really don’t think this is the case. She’s in a very small class (9 girls in pre 1a) in a very small school; she’s the oldest in her class and I can’t imagine the 5 years olds knowing it or being told, especially given that news emerged so late last night. I guess I’ll hear when she gets home if anyone spoke about it but I’d bet against it.

amother

Wheat

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 6:21 am

I really hope my dd's teacher won't be toning down her lag beomer plans. These kids are too young to have to be told this much info. It could be traumatizing for such young kids.

I told my dd in a toned down version since she heard the older kids discussing it however I wouldn't want her teacher expanding on it.

amother

Oak

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 6:24 am

imasinger wrote:

I don't feel right doing the joyous song and dance time that I had originally planned for today. But of course, I think it's important that we address reality without overwhelming or scaring young minds.

Instead, in my music sessions, I'm thinking to talk and sing about how when sad things happen, we trust Hashem, then sing Esa Eina (tehillim 121). Maybe also Pitchu Li?

We'll talk about how it's not good when things get too squishy, then sing a song I wrote called "Don't pop my bubble".

Then, we'll talk about how sometimes, we daven so fast that our words are squishy, and let's choose one thing this week to sing more slowly in our davening.

I'll do a beat game to review fast and slow.

Then, I'll let the kids choose which davening song we should sing together slowly.

What do you wise ladies think?

ask a rav who KNOWS the halachos. it is said very harsh things on a person who mourns the churben on laag beomer. that they'll have what to mourn about. the laws of shiva were instated for very specific timings and people. you dont make your own shiva... and feeling along is very different than mourning

PinkFridge

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 6:32 am

imasinger wrote:

Teaching about sefira is not reinventing the wheel. We have a frame of reference for it, we learned it ourselves, there are curricula.
When something is this fresh, and unusual, tzarich iyun. We need help preparing the lesson. Your plan sounds good.

Elfrida

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 6:41 am

Living in Israel, everyone knows about it. We still had the Lag b'Omer parade this morning. There were young children and older ones. It was toned down, and the children said Tehillim before it started.

Children can't fully relate to the tragedy, but they can know that it happened and that we can't celebrate freely after such a tragedy.

southernbubby

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 6:51 am

imasinger wrote:

They may have heard the term "death" but do they understand what it is? They do know that Moshe Rabbeinu isn't here because he went to Shamayim to be with Hashem. They understand that if we step on an insect, it's dead and can't bother them. We can say that the Jewish people are sad today because many of the people who went to Meron to celebrate passed away there but they don't need to know more than that. Hashem took their neshamas back to Shamayim at a special time.

imasinger

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 8:13 am

In the end, after consultation, I didn't do much of what I planned in my OP.

I did mute the celebration some, just substituted with other games and activities.

And I did teach "Don't Pop My Bubble", in the context of staying safe in the moon bounce.

Thanks, everyone, for your input.

amother

Gray

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 8:44 am

In case this helps anyone else

When I first told my then 4 yr old about the concept of passing away I explained it as the neshama goes back to Hashem and then Hashem sends the neshama down again in a new baby.

Ever since then whenever he hears about a person who passed away he is quick to reassure me that they will come back as a new baby and he doesn’t even process it as something sad.

He thinks passing away and dying are 2 different things. He’s an anxious kid in general so having this one area where he feels no anxiety or fear at all is like a miracle.

It makes it much easier to handle when things happen that he is exposed to.

amother

Blush

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 8:46 am

southernbubby wrote:

I would not take away their happiness and replace it with sadness and fear. I don't think that Lag b'omer needs to become Tisha b'Av. Unless a child that age has been personally affected by the loss of someone they know, I don't know what they gain from the information.
Let them sing and dance and enjoy the day.

This is very good advice

amother

Aquamarine

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 2:34 pm

I work in a preschool. Our Lag Baomer plans went on as planned. The older grades modified what they were going to do. We were told to observe carefully to make sure no discussions about it were taking place amongst the children. If a child asked about it, to discreetly give them the proper answers. Make sure that the children whose parents chose not to tell them wouldn’t find out in school. It was manageable since it was a short day. By Monday hopefully the kids won’t discuss it.

professor

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 2:41 pm

Oish this is so sad... On the day they can finally have music.

Kids could be supervised all day in class, but then on the bus they will talk and scare each other.

It's best to let them know that we adults know about it too, and if they have questions or concerns, we are approachable to them.

amother

Firebrick

Fri, Apr 30 2021, 2:58 pm

amother [ Blush ] wrote:

This is very good advice

My 6 year old did not hear about it today from classmates. She had a lovely age appropriate Lag bomer trip to the park and had a great day. Unfortunately she knows about death; her grandmother died a few months ago. I don’t hide death from her. Last nights tragedy and how it happened would terrify her. She wouldn’t sleep. It’s enough that WE won’t sleep.