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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
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amother
OP
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 Tue, May 04 2021, 9:50 am
Yes, Green, your mom gave such a nice answer.
I'm going to have to stop checking this thread because it's too triggering. The fact that I don't want to hurt the feelings of my own family memebers and destroy relationships is being called too tolerant and too liberal.
In general I don't like teaching my kids "this is wrong." I'd rather say "this is right." Instead of "don't touch!"' Id rather say "come here, let's play with this instead!"
That's my general parenting philosophy and it's even more applicable with religion. I grew up with a parent who was insistent that her way was the only right way. Well, shocker of shockers, I ended up taking a detour which sadly included eating treif and not keeping shabbos. Baruch HaShem I found positive mentors in open minded communities where all people including myself were accepted with love and acceptance. I would like to pass along this type of Judaism to my children.
I also do not want my kids to say anything to their cousins that would hurt anyone's feelings. They will learn the halachos at a later time, in school and at home. They don't need to know the intricacies now. I am not going to be saying anything about ravs- I am simply going to say every family is different and try to leave it at that.
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amother
Green
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Tue, May 04 2021, 9:52 am
| amother [ Yellow ] wrote: | Wearing long sleeves and tights in 99 degree weather is not from the Torah.
I am very confident that I teach my children the values that I believe are important, but if a child of mine chooses not to keep Shabbat, that is his/her decision and my children know how I feel about it. I love my children unconditionally. |
BB is talking about bikinis.
And no one said they wouldn't accept their child.
But that it's most likely not good practice to validate the choice too much.
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amother
Chocolate
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Tue, May 04 2021, 11:48 am
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We teach our kids that someone’s observance our own included is between them and Hashem. We focus on what’s our business and let others focus on theirs.
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juggling
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Tue, May 04 2021, 11:58 am
| amother [ Chocolate ] wrote: | | We teach our kids thst someone’s observance our own included is between them and Hashem. We focus on what’s our business and let others focus on theirs. |
Yes!!! 10000x this.
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juggling
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Tue, May 04 2021, 12:00 pm
| amother [ OP ] wrote: | Yes, Green, your mom gave such a nice answer.
I'm going to have to stop checking this thread because it's too triggering. The fact that I don't want to hurt the feelings of my own family memebers and destroy relationships is being called too tolerant and too liberal.
In general I don't like teaching my kids "this is wrong." I'd rather say "this is right." Instead of "don't touch!"' Id rather say "come here, let's play with this instead!"
That's my general parenting philosophy and it's even more applicable with religion. I grew up with a parent who was insistent that her way was the only right way. Well, shocker of shockers, I ended up taking a detour which sadly included eating treif and not keeping shabbos. Baruch HaShem I found positive mentors in open minded communities where all people including myself were accepted with love and acceptance. I would like to pass along this type of Judaism to my children.
I also do not want my kids to say anything to their cousins that would hurt anyone's feelings. They will learn the halachos at a later time, in school and at home. They don't need to know the intricacies now. I am not going to be saying anything about ravs- I am simply going to say every family is different and try to leave it at that. |
Well said.
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zaq
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Tue, May 04 2021, 2:00 pm
| amother [ Green ] wrote: |
But that it's most likely not good practice to validate the choice too much. |
Saying that it's none of our business why other people do what they do is not "validating their choice." It's saying it's none of our business. Which is the case.
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