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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Toddlers
Baby doesn't enjoy to cuddle



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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, May 14 2021, 1:27 am
My 14 month old doesn't enjoy being cuddled- she never enjoyed it. She usually pulls away when I try to hug her tightly. Is this normal?

No worries, I always find a way to kiss and cuddle her- but she doesn't seem to like it. Wondering if this is a problem or just a nature of a kid.
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amother
Firebrick


 

Post Fri, May 14 2021, 1:33 am
If she doesn't enjoy it, why do you insist on doing it?

Speaking as someone who hated being touched from as far back as I can remember, it doesn't do anything for the relationship. As soon as she is old enough, she'll stop you anyway. Work on using other ways to connect and show affection.
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amother
Floralwhite


 

Post Fri, May 14 2021, 1:34 am
I had this with one of my kids. I got him OT through early intervention and he became the most cuddly baby I ever had.
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, May 14 2021, 2:00 am
amother [ Firebrick ] wrote:
If she doesn't enjoy it, why do you insist on doing it?

Speaking as someone who hated being touched from as far back as I can remember, it doesn't do anything for the relationship. As soon as she is old enough, she'll stop you anyway. Work on using other ways to connect and show affection.



I seriously don't get your question. What type of mother doesn't want to cuddle her little baby??
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amother
OP


 

Post Fri, May 14 2021, 2:00 am
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
I had this with one of my kids. I got him OT through early intervention and he became the most cuddly baby I ever had.


What was his issue?
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amother
Plum


 

Post Fri, May 14 2021, 2:15 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I seriously don't get your question. What type of mother doesn't want to cuddle her little baby??


The type of mother who adapts to her kids wants and needs even if it means she can't do something she wants to.

One of my babies was not very cuddly and that was ok! We played, sang, and danced together. She loved that. She did not love resting her head on my shoulder. She did not love hugs. Now she's a preschooler and is just not the cuddly type. She is very sociable, bright, and is on the intense side.

Unless you are noticing sensory issues I wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

And as I heard in a parenting class, hugging/kissing your child when they don't like it, teaches them that unwanted physical touch is ok. So please be careful forcing cuddles and hugs especially as your baby gets older.
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amother
Firebrick


 

Post Fri, May 14 2021, 2:32 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I seriously don't get your question. What type of mother doesn't want to cuddle her little baby??


The type who is aware that her fourteen month old is also a person with likes and dislikes, and who is willing to put her own desires aside in order to respect that.

The type who is willing to let go of what she wants at the moment in order to build a better relationship with this person.
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Mamushka




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 14 2021, 2:32 am
It might me bec of sensory issues. Check it out
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amother
Silver


 

Post Fri, May 14 2021, 2:41 am
One of my kids loves to cuddle and my other one doesn’t. I respect her, and I ask her before can mommy give you a hug, if she says no I leave it at that, but most of the time she will let a quick one.
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imaima




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 14 2021, 2:41 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My 14 month old doesn't enjoy being cuddled- she never enjoyed it. She usually pulls away when I try to hug her tightly. Is this normal?

No worries, I always find a way to kiss and cuddle her- but she doesn't seem to like it. Wondering if this is a problem or just a nature of a kid.


It's her nature.
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Kiwi13




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 14 2021, 6:11 am
14-month olds have places to be!!! :-D they want to explore and play and move freely! My kids had their own preferences as toddlers. I let them guide when we cuddled and when it was just a quick hug. I totally get the urge to snuggle your kids, but they are their own people and it’s good to teach ways to express boundaries. I teach mine to say “no thank you” or “I need some space” if they don’t want a hug or if the cuddle went on for too long, etc.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 14 2021, 6:21 am
I was a super cuddly baby, and my sister hated it. To this day, I love a good hug, and my sister is touch avoidant. Some people are just like that.

DD didn't like to cuddle at first, and I was terrified that it was because she was adopted, and she wasn't bonding with me. Then just before she turned 2, she turned into a cuddle monster.

As she got older she pulled away again, and I started asking "Do you want a hug?" and "Can I have a hug?" Being able to read each other's body language helped us understand each other's level of emotional needs.
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trixx




 
 
    
 

Post Fri, May 14 2021, 9:14 am
Ask for permission before touching her (even when getting dressed) and she might become more receptive when she sees that you respect her bodily autonomy and that she is in control of her body.
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amother
Coffee


 

Post Fri, May 14 2021, 9:17 am
My daughter HATED being cuddled from birth until she was about 3. From then on, she made up for it always coming over for hugs, squeezes and kisses.

No point in forcing it! If there are no other issues you see, there is no reason to assume it is a sensory issue.
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gootlfriends




 
 
    
 

Post Sat, May 15 2021, 10:49 pm
If there are other sensory issues I would worry, but not otherwise.
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amother
Pumpkin


 

Post Sat, May 15 2021, 11:42 pm
amother [ Plum ] wrote:
The type of mother who adapts to her kids wants and needs even if it means she can't do something she wants to.

One of my babies was not very cuddly and that was ok! We played, sang, and danced together. She loved that. She did not love resting her head on my shoulder. She did not love hugs. Now she's a preschooler and is just not the cuddly type. She is very sociable, bright, and is on the intense side.

Unless you are noticing sensory issues I wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

And as I heard in a parenting class, hugging/kissing your child when they don't like it, teaches them that unwanted physical touch is ok. So please be careful forcing cuddles and hugs especially as your baby gets older.


This is my 2yo to the T!!!
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