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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children
Rabbi gave my 10 year old a 5$, sounds spooky to me
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amother
Vermilion


 

Post Tue, May 25 2021, 4:45 pm
amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:
My kids often get $ from their Rebbeim but they tell me about it. Question is why he didn't want to tell you.
I definitely wouldn't tell him to return it, he will be embarrassed and it will negatively affect the communication and trust between the two of you. Tell him that every time he tells you when his Rebbe gave him $ you will give him something (money? treat?). And if their Rebbe ever tells him something that's a secret or makes him feel uncomfortable and he tells you then you will give him something extra...


It could be a problem with rebbe he kept its secret
Or problem with mother. If a kid thinks mother will over react, get anxious, insist on putting money in savings, won’t let him spend how he wants, question him - then he may choose not to share the information.
Sometimes kids choose not to share info with their parents not bec its bad but because of how the parent reacts.
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yomomf




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 26 2021, 5:11 am
I would call the Rebbi. "Hi just calling to say thank you, my son was so excited that you said he was learning so well and gave him a prize. We are so proud to hear he knows the material, etc"
No confrontation BUT if he is grooming your son he now knows that your son tells you things and you have a relationship with him. One of the tools of grooming is testing the water to see how present the parents are in their kids life.
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WhatFor




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, May 26 2021, 6:03 am
I also think it's strange that he didn't want to tell you,OP. You know your family dynamic so do you think your son would have the impression that you wouldn't be happy about him getting a monetary prize from his rebbe? Have you ever expressed upset about children having money or anything like that?

Otherwise, honestly my first instinct was to wonder if he took the money from elsewhere and is using the rebbe as a cover story.
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amother
Periwinkle


 

Post Wed, May 26 2021, 7:16 am
avrahamama wrote:
Rebbe's give money sometimes instead of prizes. I never understand where that money comes from. My son's rebbe gives prizes I can't even afford to buy regularly.

My husband is a rebbe and spends at least 500$ per year on prizes. Five below has amazing things and sometimes can get cheap deals on Amazon. (Looks at Dan's deals daily) money comes from our own pocket.
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amother
Jade


 

Post Wed, May 26 2021, 7:22 am
I wouldn't even think to be worried. Rebbeim give money as prizes regularly.
I'm a Morah so the prize culture is very different by girls and even my prize budget is big, can't imagine how much it costs to keep a Rebbis prize budget.
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cbsp




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 27 2021, 10:56 am
Happens to be I was in my boys' yeshiva this morning and noticed these signs on the wall







Not only is it a "thing" but there are sales! LOL
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amother
Indigo


 

Post Thu, May 27 2021, 11:13 am
cbsp wrote:
Happens to be I was in my boys' yeshiva this morning and noticed these signs on the wall







Not only is it a "thing" but there are sales! LOL

LOL
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ShishKabob




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 27 2021, 12:36 pm
Totally normal. My son gets lots of money for extra learning and so on. Another son comes home with money for good behavior and work. It seems that it's standard out there these days.
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mha3484




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, May 27 2021, 12:41 pm
I would much rather my kids get money then dumb toys that break after 5 minutes. Our school cut back on the candy majorly over the years which I love but dollar store toys just end up in the trash.
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