Would you die for your friend?

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Ima Piano

Sun, May 30 2021, 1:53 am

Had a conversation this shabbos and the topic turned to would you die for your friend. If you were in a situation would you let them die and try to survive or would you die and let them try to survive.

Whats your take?

WhatFor

Sun, May 30 2021, 1:55 am

I feel like choosing my friend would put her ahead of my children who need me to raise them. If I'm being honest, I'd probably do what I could to survive. What a bleak question though.

justforfun87

Sun, May 30 2021, 2:06 am

I don't have a friend that I've been that close to probably ever so... ummm... nope. I have had close girlfriends throughout various stages of my life but no one I feel that deep of a connection with aside my own kids/husband. Is that weird?

Genius

Sun, May 30 2021, 2:26 am

I would fend for myself and assume my friend will fend for herself. If she is injured and saving her would mean I die than we would both go. No?

heidi

Sun, May 30 2021, 2:28 am

I would die for my children. And that's it. Coming from someone who BH has super super close friends.

Goody2shoes

Sun, May 30 2021, 2:49 am

I would die for dh . A few years back I would have said some friends but since I met dh and married him he's the best friend I ever had.

Last edited by Goody2shoes on Sun, May 30 2021, 3:04 am; edited 1 time in total

mamma llama

Sun, May 30 2021, 2:53 am

I think halachically you're not allowed to die for someone else.

Zehava

Sun, May 30 2021, 4:17 am

Hell no
Only for my kids

4g01o

Sun, May 30 2021, 4:27 am

No, my kids need their mother, and they come before a friend Confused

FranticFrummie

Sun, May 30 2021, 6:15 am

Only for DD.

I also think that al pi halacha, you cannot sacrifice your life for a friend, no matter how altruistic you are. You can risk something dangerous to save someone, but if you are sure your life will end, you have to choose your own life first.

the world's best mom

Sun, May 30 2021, 7:11 am

mamma llama wrote:

I think halachically you're not allowed to die for someone else.

Correct.

Girl@Heart

Sun, May 30 2021, 7:29 am

No. But I think anyone who would answer yes should seriously consider donating a kidney https://www.renewal.org/

Kiwi13

Sun, May 30 2021, 9:15 am

I think Halacha is you’re supposed to save yourself. I’d have a hard time with that if it was my kids.

Kiwi13

Sun, May 30 2021, 9:16 am

Girl@Heart wrote:

No. But I think anyone who would answer yes should seriously consider donating a kidney https://www.renewal.org/

Oooh great plug for renewal!! (I’m serious!!!) 💕

zaq

Sun, May 30 2021, 4:03 pm

mamma llama wrote:

I think halachically you're not allowed to die for someone else.

Correct, unless you are already sentenced to death by beis din. If two people are in a desert, one owns a canteen of water with just enough to keep him alive till he gets to the nearest oasis, and the other has none, the one who has the water keeps it and keeps himself alive. Essentially, the Talmud says "His blood is not redder than yours."

But this example, which I believe is in the Talmud, and I know someone here will be able to cite exactly where, is two men. Now we know that the Talmud says, all other things being equal, if a man and a woman are both drowning and you know for a fact you can save only one of them, save the man because he can do more mitzvot. So suppose a man and a woman are stranded in our hypothetical desert with just one hypothetical canteen with just enough water to reach our hypothetical oasis--and the woman owns the canteen. Does she keep the water for herself or give it to the man because he can do more mitzvot?

Last edited by zaq on Sun, May 30 2021, 4:30 pm; edited 1 time in total

taby

Sun, May 30 2021, 4:07 pm

I don’t think anyone would really die for their friend! A spouse,parent or child I can understand but a friend....

Stars

Sun, May 30 2021, 4:13 pm

Crookshanks

Sun, May 30 2021, 5:16 pm

Literally not. I guess I'm just selfish this way🥴
I'd pay for it with guilt for the rest of my life though. Let's not think I'd be getting away easy.

zaq

Sun, May 30 2021, 10:52 pm

Crookshanks wrote:

Literally not. I guess I'm just selfish this way🥴
I'd pay for it with guilt for the rest of my life though. Let's not think I'd be getting away easy.

If you died for your friend and she lived, she’d pay for it with guilt for the rest of her life. So you saved her from a fate WORSE than death.

Crookshanks

Mon, May 31 2021, 7:44 am

I like the logic there;)

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