Newly Weds Please please respond

amother

Ebony

Sun, Jun 06 2021, 9:44 pm

To add to my earlier post - where are you shopping?
I'm in Flatbush. A half gallon of milk in moishas is 2.59 (10 minute drove my house). In my local grocery around the corner from my house is 2.89. Sometimes I have no choice and have to buy there if I run out but that is something to be conscious of.
It's only .30 but every .30 adds up. Especially when it's multiple items and a few times a month.
If I wanted to be even more frugal I should probably go to Bingo. But that's alot further for me and I need to take time into consideration.
If you're in a heavily populated Jewish neighborhood, you should have options of where to shop and the stores should have weekly sales. Take advantage and stock up on non-perishable sale items. The pennies you save add up.
If your not makpid on things like cholov yisroel and pas yisroel you can do very well in target or Walmart or other such groceries. Even if you are careful with that there are things you can still buy in those stores that are significantly cheaper, cereal, soda....

amother

Acacia

Sun, Jun 06 2021, 9:49 pm

princesswithaj wrote:

Hi,

I AM STRUGGLING FROM MONTH TO MONTH. MY DH and I, bh, have full-time jobs with a steady flow of income coming in. For some odd reason, we still need to borrow from friends at the end of each month. WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?

My spending, I promise, is so regular. Occasional nail salon, groceries, shabbos (I make suppers and shabbos every week), household maintenance (Excluding Cleaner), and yes, the occasional eating out...... I dunno. Please help.

Please someone help me... I haven't even gone on my first vacation with him because we just don't have that extra money. Is there something people have that I don't? Please help me. Please. I have everything in a DH I could wish for, but this is really stressing me out and making me just wanna give up.

Honestly, we are both people who come from crazy pasts (I'm talking about two real survivors who decided to become VICTORY AND NOT VICTIMS.) and so we came into the marriage with no savings at all.

I dunno if that even makes a difference - coming in with savings..... but whatever. Just putting facts out there.

wow, you sound really amazing!! I don't have any advice as we are also struggling to cover every month (we are not newlyweds, a bunch of kids) just wanted to say you sound like a strong amazing person!! good for you for choosing victory!

healthy18

Sun, Jun 06 2021, 10:55 pm

princesswithaj wrote:

Married 2.5 years and since the very beginning we have been meeting with a financial planner. It makes such a difference! If you live in the NY area, pm me and I'll give you her number. Or you can still pm me, she might do zoom but I am not sure.

Aurora

Mon, Jun 07 2021, 8:20 am

I think you need to put together a list of what you are both making (after taxes) and an exact list of what you are spending money on. Then you can see where the extra money is.

It might help to stop relying on friends now - this will only get worse.

I also think that cutting out the nail salons and eating out will help you. If household maintenance means cleaning staff, it might be time to cut that out too. Consider being a weekday vegetarian - meat adds up. Buy in-season fresh produce, or buy it frozen.

I don't know what your living situation is, but is there a way you can move to a cheaper apartment or area with a cheaper cost of living? Less rent drastically helps.

It isn't fun, but it might be time to see what can go. Including looking at what "regular" spending is. Trying to keep up with people around you just gets harder and harder as you have kids and the expenses go up.

amother

Burlywood

Mon, Jun 07 2021, 8:58 am

Not a newlywed here, but speaking from experience - it's best to start out without little luxuries (like manicures and eating out regularly) and work your way up than to have to cut things out.

If you feel like "everyone" is doing something that's not in your budget, it's time to move to a neighborhood that's more laid back. Because it's only going to get worse as you get older.

amother

Tomato

Mon, Jun 07 2021, 9:45 am

amother [ Burlywood ] wrote:

This is Fantastic advice

The thing about small luxuries like manicures is that they begin to feel less luxurious when you do it often, if starts to feel like something that you almost need

Honestly that’s why I don’t get manicures. They look too good, it’s too easy to get ‘addicted’ to them and need them every week

amother

Wed, Oct 20 2021, 12:50 am

Hi,

Thank you all so much for your advice. It's been tough- a baby joined our family. We started Dave Ramsey's financial plan. It's helped miracles.

See, the thing is, legit every month, an old bill from my DH past appears in the mail and I get all frustrated and sad and stressed all over again. It's like even when I try, it's not meant to be.

It's crazy but we definitely learned control over our money and haven't borrowed in good time. We hope to start paying back this month. We don't owe much - like $5000 and so it's not too hard.

Obviously, I talk to God every day requesting parnasoh berachves. Honestly, I just want to give to people and have an open home..... God is awesome and kind and loving. If this is a struggle I have to go through, so be it..... I can't wait to work my way up and see what the future becomes....

notshanarishona

Wed, Oct 20 2021, 1:53 am

The beginning things are very expensive with needing to buy furniture, cars, kitchen stuff, etc. once your house is furnished, then you should make sure your monthly budget is more or equal to your expenses. It’s hard without family support starting off.
Mazel tov!

amother

Viola

Wed, Oct 20 2021, 11:08 am

Get a financial coach that can work with you and your husband as a team. Best thing we did! It costs a few hundred dollars but it’s worth it. He helped us put our financials in order and save a lot more than we spent.