S/O Jealous of Friends Looks

amother

Bellflower

Fri, Jun 18 2021, 4:33 pm

No one hates anyone. It extremely attractive women who dont reign themselves in when around other women's husband's aren't looked at too kindly.

I'm not thin or conventionally pretty, but I'm a terrible flirt with a great sense of humor. When I'm around other men. I absolutely subdue myself. For the sake of my husband, myself and my friends.

amother

Fri, Jun 18 2021, 4:37 pm

I thought it was interesting that so many posts were so sympathetic to the OP implying that that kind of jealousy and rage over another women’s looks is normal.

amother

DarkYellow

Fri, Jun 18 2021, 4:41 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Do most women hate thin and pretty women?

[b]

I hate them for that second when I see my husband looking besotted over them. He has a big problem. I know. Otherwise I’m a gals gal and love all !!!

amother

Steelblue

Fri, Jun 18 2021, 4:45 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I thought it was interesting that so many posts were so sympathetic to the OP implying that that kind of jealousy and rage over another women’s looks is normal.

It sounded more like op was really digging deep throughout the thread. First by acknowledging her feelings of jealousy and discomfort. Eventually realizing that it was a combination of needing to build up her self esteem, put the health of her marriage first and possibly letting a toxic friend go.
If people just bashed her how would that have helped?
She already feels shame and guilt and confused.

amother

Dandelion

Fri, Jun 18 2021, 5:00 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I thought it was interesting that so many posts were so sympathetic to the OP implying that that kind of jealousy and rage over another women’s looks is normal.

Why would empathy for a person's struggle imply that the person's struggle is common? The poster acknowledged that they had an issue and wanted advice on how to overcome their personal issue.

amother

Fri, Jun 18 2021, 5:07 pm

amother [ Steelblue ] wrote:

That was my problem the friend herself wasn’t toxic. If anything OP was the toxic friend.

amother

Trillium

Fri, Jun 18 2021, 5:10 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I thought it was interesting that so many posts were so sympathetic to the OP implying that that kind of jealousy and rage over another women’s looks is normal.

I was kind of surprised by this too.... it seemed like many women related to these feelings. I have never felt anywhere near that level of jealousy about someone's looks (other stuff, maybe) I had a really hard time relating.

amother

Fri, Jun 18 2021, 5:13 pm

amother [ Dandelion ] wrote:

Why would empathy for a person's struggle imply that the person's struggle is common? The poster acknowledged that they had an issue and wanted advice on how to overcome their personal issue.

I guess because in recent threads OPs have gotten kind of bashed, this one got a lot more support.

amother

Steelblue

Fri, Jun 18 2021, 5:29 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

That was my problem the friend herself wasn’t toxic. If anything OP was the toxic friend.

At first glance it does seem that way. Hearing other scenarios where this friend flirts with other people's husbands kinda flips the script. But I think the op and the friend have self esteem issues and are addressing them in unhealthy ways. The op acknowledged that, and appeared to be looking to work on her own self esteem and marriage along with sorting through the toxicity of the frienship. We don't have the friends p.o.v. but that's ok. Op seemed sincere in her efforts of becoming emotionally healthier. To me that's what matters, not debating who is toxic.

amother

Scarlet

Fri, Jun 18 2021, 5:35 pm

I don't hate women more beautiful than me.

I dislike women who get too chummy around my husband or aren't careful about tznius around him. Honestly so does my husband. It makes him uncomfortable. He once asked me why people sit on our couch in a way that he can see their underwear color. He was completely serious. He couldn't understand why someone would do that. I stopped inviting said person over when he was around.

amother

Linen

Fri, Jun 18 2021, 7:08 pm

amother [ DarkYellow ] wrote:

[b]

I hate them for that second when I see my husband looking besotted over them. He has a big problem. I know. Otherwise I’m a gals gal and love all !!!

Why would you hate them even for a second? This is on him (as you said!), not on them.

amother

Almond

Fri, Jun 18 2021, 7:16 pm

amother [ Linen ] wrote:

Why would you hate them even for a second? This is on him (as you said!), not on them.

Was going to say this. Why them and not him?

amother

Azure

Fri, Jun 18 2021, 7:18 pm

amother [ Almond ] wrote:

Was going to say this. Why them and not him?

It’s easier to hate them than to hate the person you love and realize his full responsibility.

Speaking from experience.

As far as hating pretty women: I like all nice people. I have a hard time liking mean or snobby people. If you’re pretty and nice I will like you. If you’re no nice I probably don’t want to be around you.

amother

Offwhite

Sat, Jun 19 2021, 6:22 pm

It's the pretty woman with the bad middos who I dislike. Somehow, I like them less because it's unexpected.

naturalmom5

Sun, Jun 20 2021, 12:07 am

amother [ DarkYellow ] wrote:

[b]

I hate them for that second when I see my husband looking besotted over them. He has a big problem. I know. Otherwise I’m a gals gal and love all !!!

So why is it the girls fault

Its the dog's , I mean HUSBANDS FAULT