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Help with food for overweight dd



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amother
OP


 

Post Sat, Jun 19 2021, 11:51 pm
My daughter just turned 9 and is officially overweight. My other kids are normal weight but she seems to be struggling. She doesn’t eat particularly healthy (although my husband and I are very health oriented in our diets). She’s a kid! She loves snack bags, cookies and pasta etc…

I’m willing to put all my kids on a semi- diet (without them knowing). I never said a word to this daughter about her looks or weight but I want to help her while she’s still young.

My kids don’t like whole wheat anything…

What are good baked goods recipes I can make that have very little sugar?

Any other suggestions?
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amother
Calendula


 

Post Sat, Jun 19 2021, 11:59 pm
Following. Similar situation;(
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honey bunny




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 20 2021, 12:01 am
Ditttooo!! Help!! But im not as good as you. My daughter knows she's heavy and sometimes in literally can't look at her
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amother
Tanzanite


 

Post Sun, Jun 20 2021, 12:24 am
Whole wheat and sugar free are all gimmicks
Also she is 9. She hasn’t even gone through puberty. Give her a chance.

I would speak to a real nutritionist a flavorful fit on Instagram or someone like that. Not someone who forces calorie counts and thinks diet soda is good cuz it’s 0 calories. Someone who makes how food works and best way to gain nutrition.
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esther11




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 20 2021, 12:24 am
I would definitely try to start with serving healthy balanced meals and having less super unhealthy food in the house. Try to have easily accessible fruit, nuts, and string cheese.

Breakfast can easily be Greek yogurt and fruit/granola. Eggs and rice cakes. Oatmeal. Etc.

Lunches are harder because of school and no whole wheat, but try to avoid straight pasta/pizza/noodle soup.

Supper is easy. Make a protein, vegetable, and healthy carb. Try to avoid straight pastas and breads for supper. Ex: chicken, quinoa, and salad. Salmon, sweet potatoes, and green beans. Hamburgers, cole slaw, corn.
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amother
Plum


 

Post Sun, Jun 20 2021, 12:25 am
honey bunny wrote:
Ditttooo!! Help!! But im not as good as you. My daughter knows she's heavy and sometimes in literally can't look at her


You can't look at your own daughter because she's overweight?! Please go get some help working on yourself before you ruin your relationship with her over this.

My mother spent my whole childhood harping on my weight. She put me on a strict diet in middle school. She would watch me like a hawk at mealtimes to make sure I wasn't eating too much, all the while heaping good on my brothers' plates because they were growing boys. She would sigh heavily when she took me shopping that clothing would look better on me if I lost weight. All this turned me into an emotional and secretive eater. I would gorge myself on junk food when I was out of her sight. To this day I have terrible eating habits and I'm obese. Whenever we go to my parents' house for a Shabbos or Yom Tov I bring snacks with me in my suitcase because I leave her table feeling hungry.
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amother
Burlywood


 

Post Sun, Jun 20 2021, 12:34 am
Get rid of all the junk food, cakes, cookies even the whole wheat type, except for maybe shabbos. You could overdo it on "healthy sweets" Give healthy snacks like pretzels, popcorn. Let the whole family eat healthy. Instead of pasta, make sweet potatoes, potatoes, squash and other healthier starches.
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amother
Dahlia


 

Post Sun, Jun 20 2021, 12:57 am
I was like this. Changed once I went through puberty and I didn’t do anything differently. It can happen
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Jewishmom8




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 20 2021, 1:50 am
you can do small changes like remove any drinks besides water.
have lots of yummy fruit and veggies around and serve them with meals.
other than that it is really hard.
try to remove candy from the house.
but she will get all the rest from her friends.
when it comes to kids (and adults) they have to want to change or else there is nothing to talk about.
My mom was SUPER healthy and very restrictive when it came to snacks. and you guessed it now I have a very complicated relationship with food.
just tread carefully.
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amother
OP


 

Post Sun, Jun 20 2021, 7:22 am
Thank you for all your insights

I’m sorry so many of you have a hard time with food now and that’s exactly why I never said anything to my daughter regarding weight or size. I absolutely don’t want diet culture creeping into her young mind. I never use the terms fat or skinny either even regarding myself (and my body has gone thru plenty of weight situations bh with all my births. But I never ever want these words used in my house bc I know it breeds bad feelings and issues with food. At the same time I need to help my dd make healthier choices (without her knowing it’s about her weight) so I set her and all my children up with healthy eating habits as they get older

Keep the tips coming
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amother
Nasturtium


 

Post Sun, Jun 20 2021, 11:46 am
For baked goods, we try to stick to paleo recipes, so the flours we use are almond, coconut, cassava, the sweeteners are minimal amts of honey, maple syrup, coconut or maple sugar, stevia. We use unrefined oils. Try to incorporate sweet potato or butternut squash purée, or grated carrot or zuchinni. We use a lot of extra dark chcocolate chips. We make muffins, pancakes, waffles, quick breads this way. So it’s all nutrient dense. For meals we try to stick to Whole Foods, minimal grains, focus on healthy proteins, fats, and resistant starches like squashes, root vegetables and beans. We make our own ices out of blended fruit. Keep a lot of delicious berries and other fruits on hand for munching. My kids are loving nice cream these days. We make a strawberry version with banana and strawberries, and a chocolate version with cocoa and pb. Sprinkle some dye free sprinkles and they’re thrilled. My kids love acai bowls and avocado fruit smoothies.
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Sun, Jun 20 2021, 11:56 am
My 6 year old dd is also very overweight. Many times I make a smoothie for breakfast with frozen fruit, some milk and greek yogurt. My kids all love it.

I never buy real unhealthy snacks. I usually stick to popcorn, fruit leathers, whole wheat bissli, drizzalicous snack bags. BH my kids really like these.
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FranticFrummie




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 20 2021, 11:59 am
As said above, get rid of the nosh! Do NOT bring the kids with you when you grocery shop. They will be begging and pleading for everything they see. It's torture for them, and it's not fair.

You can't go wrong with paleo and keto recipes. Many of them are so decadent and creamy, you don't even realize they're good for you. I make dark chocolate truffles with coconut oil, and they are so rich you can only eat one. No added sugar, just make sure the chocolate is 70% or higher.

If you are going to serve a starch, serve it as a second course, after the protein and veg side dish. If everyone is mostly full from the first course, they won't eat as much of the starches. (DD used to dive straight into the pasta and rice, and then ask to be excused from the table. Once I switched things around her diet improved immensely.) Of course on Shabbos, the challah comes before the main meal, but the rest of the week it shouldn't even be on the menu.

I find that chickpea pasta is the closest thing to "normal" pasta, and with a tasty sauce I can't tell the difference at all. It's a little more expensive, and you can only find it in health food stores, but it's worth it. It has a very high protein content, way higher than wheat or brown rice pasta.

My motto is "Don't count calories, make your calories count." If you are mindful of the foods you choose, you'll do well. Shop the outside edges of the store, and only go down the middle aisles for non food items like toilet paper and soap.

Food should be bright, colorful, and beautiful. Think of the plate as an artist's palette. Is it too brown? Add some sautéed green beans, and some carrots. Get as much variety as possible, and let the colors excite you. Have fun!
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amother
Poinsettia


 

Post Sun, Jun 20 2021, 12:06 pm
Good for you for not saying anything about her weight. Keep healthy snacks within reach always- a bowl of cut up melon for example. And try and limit the junk purchased. No reason for kids to be snacking on cookies and donuts on a random day.. Do NOT have any soda in thr house (ever) but especially NO DIET DRINKS . They are poison and actually cause sugar addiction. NO LOW FAT DAIRY products- full fat dairy only- its much more filling and far healthier. Forget the whole wheat - it's not going to make that big of a difference- but try and go easy on the carbs.
If you can work with a nutritionist that's ideal. Keep away from the word diet
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Elfrida




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 20 2021, 12:14 pm
Instead of focusing exclusively on food, pay some attention to the other side of the weight loss equation - calories expended. See if you can help build more exercise into her life.

I was overweight as a child and in my early teens, but I always enjoyed swimming. Once I was judged old enough to go to the pool by myself, I would go swimming at least once a week - because I liked it, with no thought of looks. All that excess weight just disappeared without me even thinking about it, and with no change on my eating habits.
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amother
Brunette


 

Post Sun, Jun 20 2021, 12:24 pm
Elfrida wrote:
Instead of focusing exclusively on food, pay some attention to the other side of the weight loss equation - calories expended. See if you can help build more exercise into her life.

I was overweight as a child and in my early teens, but I always enjoyed swimming. Once I was judged old enough to go to the pool by myself, I would go swimming at least once a week - because I liked it, with no thought of looks. All that excess weight just disappeared without me even thinking about it, and with no change on my eating habits.


Yes, this. I was just coming on here to post this. I used to go on a daily walk with my kids before dinner. I bought them a dance machine and I do it with them.
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#BestBubby




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 20 2021, 12:49 pm
Try serving soup or salad without sugary dressings or croutons for the first course.
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amother
Dandelion


 

Post Sun, Jun 20 2021, 2:53 pm
Summer is great because you have all the berries, melons, etc. That should be a default snack.
Replace chips with popcorn.
If she doesn't like vegetables, even eating corn which is starchy is better than cookies. Don't buy junk.
I do buy churn style ice cream which is half the fat of regular ice cream but you have to stick with small portions.
You can't have fatty snacks in the house.
In regards to meals, give her more protein and less servings of the carb you serve.
Can you introduce an extra curricular sport or dance class/gymnastics or other form of exercise?
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amother
Mayflower


 

Post Sun, Jun 20 2021, 3:02 pm
Read Ellyn Satter. In a nutshell, she suggests serving small portions of desserts, snacks, and other treats as PART of your healthy balanced meals. This removes the forbidden-fruit factor and teaches the place foe treats in a healthy diet.
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DVOM




 
 
    
 

Post Sun, Jun 20 2021, 3:17 pm
honey bunny wrote:
Ditttooo!! Help!! But im not as good as you. My daughter knows she's heavy and sometimes in literally can't look at her


This sounds so painful, Honey.

When you say you 'cant look at her', I'm assuming that you mean that her heaviness disgusts and scares you. Being overweight doesn't have to hold her back in life, but seeing the disappointment and disapproval in your eye is bound to have a deep impact on her. Please figure out what's blocking you from loving her unconditionally. Her best chance at a full, wonderful, productive life is your love, no matter how heavy she gets.
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