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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Toddlers
amother
OP
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Sun, Jun 20 2021, 8:53 pm
My difficult three year old who I invest so much time and energy in told me she doesn't like me, but she does like my oldest daughter. I took it so to heart and I'm sitting and bawling right now.
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amother
Cinnamon
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Sun, Jun 20 2021, 9:00 pm
And if she told you you were a silly poopyhead would you also be sitting and crying?
Its the exact same thing. She has no idea what she's saying.
Internalize that- your daughter called you a silly poopyhead.
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amother
Bluebell
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Sun, Jun 20 2021, 9:10 pm
Did you tell her no about something? Did you make her eat or not let her eat something? Put away a toy, take a bath, stop jumping in the furniture, wear clothes…..
What would you say to someone else in your situation?
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amother
Tulip
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Sun, Jun 20 2021, 9:33 pm
My adorable stubborn smart 3 year old told me "ill cut off your head". Yes, I am trying to teach him to speak nicely. You feel better now?!
And when my 5 year old doesn't like something I did, he'll say he doesn't like me, same for my husband. Kids are expressing their anger in a funny way. Mommy didn't listen to me and said No! To the ice cream truck or whatever so I don't like her.
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amother
OP
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Sun, Jun 20 2021, 9:37 pm
You're all right, but I guess I'm just feeling generally like a not so great mom, so this really triggered me.
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amother
Peachpuff
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Sun, Jun 20 2021, 9:57 pm
My 7 year old tells me I am ichy and the worst mother and a meanyhead when I discipline him after he hits his brother etc
But says I’m the nicest best mother when I cut up fruit that he likes…
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amother
Maize
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Sun, Jun 20 2021, 9:59 pm
amother [ OP ] wrote: | You're all right, but I guess I'm just feeling generally like a not so great mom, so this really triggered me. |
Ugh I get it. My 5 year old has been telling me since he was 3 that he likes my husband (his father) more than he likes me. I'm the one who does the discipline in the house so it makes sense. And everyone says it shouldn't hurt. But seriously it still does hurt to be told you aren't liked.
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amother
Lotus
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Mon, Jun 21 2021, 1:24 am
Yup! I get it too.
My two year old likes her Abba way more than she likes me.
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FranticFrummie
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Mon, Jun 21 2021, 3:53 am
When DD was 4, she said to me "I hate you, you're ruining my life!"
Where did she even learn to talk like that? Honey, you're 4, what kind of life do you have?
I said "I'm sorry you're mad at me, but I still love you." That confused her, because she expected me to fight with her.
I empathized with her about whatever her frustration was at the time (I can't remember, it might have been about eating a cookie before dinner), but I held firm and didn't let her get away with emotional blackmail.
Because it didn't work the first time, she never did it again.
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Rappel
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Mon, Jun 21 2021, 3:58 am
DS5 told me recently that he wouldn't let me babysit his kids when he grows up, to punish me.
These are some smart cookies!
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Iymnok
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Mon, Jun 21 2021, 5:17 am
I told my kids that I’m the ichiest ima. If a Bragg singsong voice, And that they should tell their friends that when they complain about their mothers.
It worked.
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Chickensoupprof
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Mon, Jun 21 2021, 5:48 am
Typical toddler behavior. Is ok. Say 'mommy knows you are upset but we do only say nice things to mommy'.
And you are a good mother, you feed your children you give them love and care. Toddlers are just really good in exploring boundaries and getting a reaction out of you.
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tp3
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Mon, Jun 21 2021, 6:31 am
PSA it doesn't go away. Teens do it too. Big whoop.
One minute I'm the best mother. The next minute the worst.
Kids need us to be able to contain all their feelings so that they feel ok having feelings.
We can be bigger than their fleeting feelings.
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Teomima
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Mon, Jun 21 2021, 8:06 am
Someday she'll be a teenager and she really won't like you.
Just tell her, "That's okay, you don't have to like me. But I like you. And what's more, I love you, and will always love you."
Love your child, care for your child, that's all you need to do to be a great mom. You don't need to be liked by your child. Just make sure they know your love for them is unconditional. You got this.
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Teomima
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Mon, Jun 21 2021, 8:08 am
Rappel wrote: | DS5 told me recently that he wouldn't let me babysit his kids when he grows up, to punish me.
These are some smart cookies! |
You gotta record him saying that! It'll be your Get Out Of Jail Free card when he calls you in twenty, thirty years, begging you to watch his screaming children.
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amother
Burlywood
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Mon, Jun 21 2021, 2:29 pm
When I have a fight with someone, I don't like him or her very much, either. Being an adult, I don't come out and say that, but my feelings are no different from your three-year-old's. The temporary emotion has nothing to do with my relationship to the person. I had to learn this after my first fight with dh as a newlywed. Like many others, I thought this fight meant our marriage was doomed. It didn't.
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causemommysaid
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Mon, Jun 21 2021, 2:43 pm
I do the discipline in the house. My husband is an old softy. I make sure they eat, do hw, shower, brush teeth, go to bed on time etc.
The kids all love him more and my 6 year old decided to enlighten me to this fact very bluntly.
Not gonna lie. I was crushed.
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