S/o Speech paycheck- how to help girls know the options?

amother

Antiquewhite

Mon, Jun 21 2021, 9:39 pm

lfab wrote:

You talk about your secular relatives and non-jewish colleagues going back to school or changing careers if they are unhappy in their field. However, many frum women just don't have the resources to do that. If you are 35 with 6-7 kids, (or even 28 with 3 kids) and paying yeshiva tuitions unless your husband makes a really good income you just don't have the luxury of deciding to quit your job to go back to school. Or even to switch jobs and start all over, with an income that reflects that. Most of the secular people I know who are in their upper 20's are not married and by mid to late 30's have max 1-2 kids. It gives them a lot more flexibility to change careers if they are unhappy. You can't compare that to a frum mother juggling a job, multiple little kids, often with a husband who is also working long hours and therefore not around to help much so most of the household responsibilities fall on her, shabbos to make each week (plus y"t) and only 1 weekend day to get things done. Most people just don't have the ability to change tracks while raising a family. There may be individuals who can do it, but most simply can't, that's just the reality. So yes, parents could, and absolutely should, do their best to help their children find a suitable career, but sometimes you just don't know until you're in it whether it's right for you.

I’m not saying they have to switch, in just saying it happens even in secular circles with career and college advisors on staff in their public schools.
Obviously it’s best to do your research thoroughly and aim for a career that fits your interests.
That’s what I did with my daughters, and again coming straight out of BJJ they did the frum college option, but did not choose the typical therapies as their college choice. I did send them to someone for guidance

ora_43

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 8:17 am

amother [ Nemesia ] wrote:

That's the crux of the problem though isn't it? People want. They want everything, all at the same time, without waiting.
That's part of being an adult, learning to delay self gratification and accepting you don't get everything whenever you want it.
Marriage, romance, s-x, babies, lots of money, easy job, quick degree, no stress, all by the young age of 22. No, that's not real life.

I don't think that's fair. The people expressing frustration here about their jobs - which is what started this thread - weren't saying "wahhh, no fair, I wanted to get lots of money for doing a super easy job."

They were saying, 'I was told over and over that this would be a steady job that pays well and has good hours, which is why I did a degree that wasn't quick and wasn't cheap. And now I'm finding that it either pays well or is steady work with good hours, but not both. People should really stop saying inaccurate things about this career.'

There's no amount of delayed gratification that would have fixed that problem. You can wait 20 years to get married and (attempt to) have kids, and still, certain jobs are only going to either be family-friendly or pay well, not both.

amother

Narcissus

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 8:24 am

ora_43 wrote:

I find it hard to believe they were "told over and over" by so many speech therapists that this was a great career, if so many of them are unhappy. Realistically, many of them did not speak to that many speech therapists first or research the career appropriately, because then wouldn't they have heard some of the negative?

amother

Mistyrose

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 8:27 am

amother [ Antiquewhite ] wrote:

It kind of proves the point that many 17 year olds are not ready to choose what to do for the rest of their lives.

amother

Narcissus

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 8:38 am

amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:

It kind of proves the point that many 17 year olds are not ready to choose what to do for the rest of their lives.

And they are probably not ready to choose who they want to marry for the rest of their lives either. But since many do marry young they need to have a way to support themselves.

ora_43

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 9:24 am

amother [ Narcissus ] wrote:

And that's the idea of this thread - how can we help young people to really know whether a career is good for them?

I'm guessing the people who were misinformed got misinformation from principals/ teachers/ parents/ guidance counselors. Technically, they could have done more research, but really, how many teenagers would? I think a lot of us can think of things we'd have done differently if only we'd realized, at age 17-22, that people might be much older than us, and much more experienced, and might sound very intelligent and knowledgeable, and still be wildly off in what they're saying about the workplace.

ora_43

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 9:27 am

amother [ Mistyrose ] wrote:

It kind of proves the point that many 17 year olds are not ready to choose what to do for the rest of their lives.

Adult life is one of those things you learn by doing.

I wouldn't want my kids to marry at age 17, but pick a job? Yeah. Because you have to start somewhere. They aren't going to get any closer to knowing what it's like to hold down a job and what they, personally, like or dislike about specific jobs, just by sitting and thinking about it.

It's absurd that people have to go into so much debt just to get a single foot on the career ladder. That I think is the real problem. And it's another problem that can't be fixed by waiting.

crbc

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 9:33 am

PCS, a division of Agudath Israel, will be hosting Deena Nahari, PCC, for a free seminar for seminary graduates and women on Wednesday June 23, at 8:00 PM EDT. The seminar will address questions that those entering the workforce may have such as:

How can I utilize my talents and strengths to help support my family?
What will I be good at?
How can I make sure that I don’t get stuck at a boring, dead-end job?
Do I really need a degree?
How can I find a position with long term salary growth?

The session will be followed by a question and answer session.

In person: PCS, 1771 Madison Ave. Lakewood NJ 08701.
Virtual: For link/teleconference number email: nj@nj.pcsjobs.org.

amother

Mistyrose

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 9:34 am

ora_43 wrote:

In America many have until at least 22 until the finish college and only then would be starting speech graduate school. That’s many more years to figure out a career.

amother

Narcissus

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 10:00 am

ora_43 wrote:

Before getting accepted to a therapy masters program you typically have to have a significant number of hours shadowing or observing a therapist. I would assume people completed that requirement or they would not have been accepted to the program. I had to do 100 hours for my program. It kind of makes it hard to say you didn't know what you were getting into, if you actually observed people doing the job.

Elfrida

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 10:05 am

amother [ Narcissus ] wrote:

Did you also observe the paperwork, the scheduling issues, the attempts to fit in work with managing a family, and generally everything surrounding the job, or only the actual therapy sessions? The therapy sessions don't tell you everything, especially over just two or three weeks.

amother

Narcissus

Tue, Jun 22 2021, 10:08 am

Elfrida wrote:

It doesn't tell you everything but it gives you the opportunity to speak with the therapist you are observing about the job. People are generally happy to share their experiences and will tell you things you might not observe during sessions, such as about the paperwork, scheduling issues etc...