Neighbor Banned Her Daughter From Playing in Our Home

mommy3b2c

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 9:13 am

amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:

I find it comical that a few days ago there was a thread about a kid whose parent was not vaccinated and another kid wasnt allowed to play there. Everyone was sooo understanding. Guess what? To some of us, allowing our kids into your home if you have a smartphone, even if you wont show it to our kids, is not something we feel comfortable with for whatever reason. Let us see a bit off acceptance here.

I’m not understanding of either. I think both parents are idiots.

OOTforlife

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 9:16 am

Mommyg8 wrote:

If someone grows up and lives in a community where they know that they are not allowed to have a smartphone, and they will be shunned if they do, then that person understand the risks of owning the smartphone and cannot be shocked that they respond according to the way she knows they will respond.

OP seems to be shocked and hurt, which leads me to suspect (I am not sure if OP clarified) that OP is NOT part of this community. If you move near someone who has slightly different values than you and you allow your children to play together, you have to have more sensitivity to other values/cultures.

I agree, I got the impression that it was novel for OP to have a child's friend not be allowed to play in her home. If this was the type of community where smartphones were extremely taboo and OP was a conspicuous outlier in openly using a smartphone, I would expect the OP to read very differently.

faigie

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 9:21 am

To answer the OPs question….
If ur new neighbor, without her smartphone, is the norm of the neighborhood…than ur SOL. However, if the norm in the area is to have a smartphone, then sooner or later the mom will see that she herself won’t have any kids to play over in her home, and she may decide to reevaluate her decision.

amother

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 10:17 am

faigie wrote:

What does SOL mean?

My neighborhood is mixed with about 40% of the mothers owning smartphones and maybe 3 or 4 families having no access to internet whatsoever. Even if 100% of the families have no access to internet I would be shocked to be treated badly. Being kind and being sheltered are not mutually exclusive.

faigie

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 10:39 am

SOL mean s**t out of luck.
Sometimes we just have to accept, that a certain derech includes certain kinds of behaviors. In this case, it’s not uncommon for those who feel very strongly against technology, to actually and actively ban anyone or anything at all, that would expose their family to technology. Is it hurtful? Of course. But that’s the reality of living in such a society. It’s cultural, and not personal. I think that the only way to avoid it, is to move to an area that is more into ur derech…….I’m sorry u were hurt, but I’m thankful that your reaction to being hurt in this way, was outrage for the lack of inclusivity and tolerance that the mom taught her daughter. …hugs.

amother

Topaz

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 10:40 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

SOL means.... [blank] out of luck. The 'out of luck' is the important part. Laugh

amother

Holly

Wed, Jun 23 2021, 12:30 pm

My neighbor's kids never come play at my house. My kids basically don't play with the neighbors like most normal kids too. Now that it was mentioned here I'm thinking that maybe it is my smartphone. I don't hide it. My neighbor had my son over once and it sounded like she was surprised at what a normal kid he is. I think they have totally the wrong idea about us.

amother

Honeydew

Fri, Jun 25 2021, 12:54 pm

wif wrote:

Except those riled up people are saying truly hurtful things right here in this thread in the name of not hurting people...

Okay. I give up. I wish you all bracha and hatzlacha and other words that end in "acha" and a lot of nachas from your children. May we be zoche to mashiach really soon.

Wif out.

Wif, you gotta choose your battles. I wasn't brave or confident enough to try, I'm impressed you did Smile

Standing up for Torah and what is right, is always the right thing to do. Kol Hakavod!

amother

Broom

Fri, Jun 25 2021, 2:38 pm

The Torah doesn't say not to have a smartphone. It does say a lot that would indicate that shaming and rejecting one's neighbor is not a good thing to do. And to compare that deep, scarring rejection to a couple of mean comments on the Internet... I have no words.