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Crookshanks




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 11:42 am
keym wrote:
Or he can be like my 4 year old who absolutely 100% refuses to wear shorts, despite the stack of shorts in his closet, because big brother in Mesivta only wears long pants and he needs to be just like Big Brother. He also refuses to wear anything other than white collared shirts on Shabbos. I put my foot down on white button down shirts during the week because of laundry.
But long pants? Not worth the battle.
But people seeing us in Walmart might assume it's a shitta or a frumkeit or something. It's not. It's no different than a daughter wearing a tutu or a toddler wearing his rainboots on a sunny day like today.

He sounds adorable and so precocious! I love how his brother is his role model ☺️
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amother
Tuberose


 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 11:42 am
amother [ Bluebell ] wrote:

The funniest part was that on Monday morning, they all came to school with bathrobes over their clothing. They explained to the principal that in Williamsburg, it's totally acceptable to wear pajamas in public.


Why is this funny
It sounds like they are mocking their hosts
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amother
Calendula


 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 11:42 am
I'm the one who posted earlier that I grew up out of town, and was the odd one out- with my mom wearing pants, and not covering her hair. I was the odd one out. I was very different. I wasn't treated treated differently by my school, but kids pick up on these things. Yes, I still had friends, but some parents weren't super happy to send their kids over, with the way my mother dressed and the huge TV in my family room.
Kids have trends they try to follow everywhere! Wearing the same company sneakers, same style briefcase, etc. Many kids just feel normal by wearing or doing what everybody else does.
I grew up out of town, and it happens there too.
My point is, I think it's normal for schools, shuls, communities, to attract people with a similar hashkafa.
The children I grew up with were not really diverse at all, and it was very far from Lakewood;-)
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amother
Bisque


 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 11:59 am
Crookshanks wrote:
I learned this from my super sheltered, doesn't want any negative influences mother. She always schmoozes with the cashiers in every store we go to, and is careful to greet them by their names. Being sheltered, and having kavod habriyos are two separate things.


ITA

My Uber-yeshivish mom will get on a plane and become bffs with her African American seatmate. And the cashier in the grocery. And the receptionist at the Dr., etc.

You can be super yeshivish and super accepting and tolerant as well.
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amother
Chocolate


 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 12:06 pm
amother [ Calendula ] wrote:
I'm the one who posted earlier that I grew up out of town, and was the odd one out- with my mom wearing pants, and not covering her hair. I was the odd one out. I was very different. I wasn't treated treated differently by my school, but kids pick up on these things. Yes, I still had friends, but some parents weren't super happy to send their kids over, with the way my mother dressed and the huge TV in my family room.
Kids have trends they try to follow everywhere! Wearing the same company sneakers, same style briefcase, etc. Many kids just feel normal by wearing or doing what everybody else does.
I grew up out of town, and it happens there too.
My point is, I think it's normal for schools, shuls, communities, to attract people with a similar hashkafa.
The children I grew up with were not really diverse at all, and it was very far from Lakewood;-)

This I understand though-my parents didn't let me go to my friend when they were watching tv, so I spent a lot of time there on Shabbos. It's not a rejection of you, it's a rejection of the TV.
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amother
Calendula


 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 12:15 pm
I get it. I'm just saying, it's not always diverse in every community outside of Lakewood.
You can feel "different " and "weird " even in out of town communities.
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amother
Tanzanite


 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 12:42 pm
keym wrote:
Or he can be like my 4 year old who absolutely 100% refuses to wear shorts, despite the stack of shorts in his closet, because big brother in Mesivta only wears long pants and he needs to be just like Big Brother. He also refuses to wear anything other than white collared shirts on Shabbos. I put my foot down on white button down shirts during the week because of laundry.
But long pants? Not worth the battle.
But people seeing us in Walmart might assume it's a shitta or a frumkeit or something. It's not. It's no different than a daughter wearing a tutu or a toddler wearing his rainboots on a sunny day like today.


Your 4 year old and my 4 year old would get along quite well 🤣
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amother
Crystal


 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 12:49 pm
amother [ Bluebell ] wrote:
Here's what they learned from the experience. Although the MO girls knew about chassidishe communities, the reverse was not true. Their counterparts simply didn't know that a community like theirs existed. They assumed that the girls were not frum and knew nothing about halacha. ("Now we're going to wash our hands before we eat challah. That's the fancy bread we have on shabbos.") And when the MO girls wanted to talk about the parsha, their hosts looked at them like they were speaking Greek.


A Chassidish acquaintance once asked my MO relative if she keeps Taharas Hamishpacha. And if so, how can she wear nail polish (duh, she takes it off?).

But thinking about this, I think that Chassidim are just more visible than MO people, and that might explain why your MO students knew more about Chassidim than Chassidim knew about MO.
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chanchy123




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 1:12 pm
Just an anecdote. When I was in high school in Israel, there was a fairly new initiative to create meeting points between secular and DL students, after a few years my principal said that there is no reason here students should meet up with secular Jews but not with hareidim so she initiated a Shabbat where we stayed near mea shearing davened at Karlin, attended a tish, and someone from the community took us on a tour of mea shearim and some of my friends wandered over to the rebetzin’s house made friends with her and were even invited to family Simchas.
My principal really has wanted us to meet with Bays Yakov students our age, like we met with the secular kids, but none agreed to have them exposed to girls like us.
Now more than 20 years later, this is a standard for every self respecting DL high school. They are hosted by families now, but still chareidi teens are not allowed to meet with DL teens.
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sequoia




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 1:16 pm
Girls with girls?
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chanchy123




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 1:29 pm
sequoia wrote:
Girls with girls?

Yes of course girls with girls and boys with boys.
Generally DL schools are gender segregated, when we met were secular schools their boys went to the equivalent yeshiva high schools and their girls meet with our high school.
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amother
Tanzanite


 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 1:33 pm
I find this thread to be quite judgemental ironically.
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saw50st8




 
 
    
 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 2:49 pm
I find people's definitions of diversity kind of funny.

Lakewood (and Monsey and Teaneck and the 5T) are diverse in a VERY narrow band. I think the closest I've seen to a true diverse community is Baltimore.

I actually see a lot of kids who have grown up in various Jewish bubbles in my company, transition to the workplace as interns or full time employees and a lot of them struggle with culture. In most cases it isn't a long term problem, but it is something to overcome.

Growing up, I was exposed to an actual diverse group of people because my mother worked in politics, but it is very different when you yourself are integrating into another culture like college or a workplace. It's not necessarily bad to grow up in a bubble; it comes with benefits and drawbacks.
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amother
Clear


 

Post Thu, Jun 24 2021, 3:12 pm
mha3484 wrote:
There are a lot more Chassidim. I live across the street from one of the kollelim. The MO community has mostly all moved to Skokie but my kids go shopping with me and see people buying carts of kosher food who may not look like them which is a good thing. I make a point to tell my kids that I have friends of all types and we can get along and be friendly to everyone even if we practice differently.


In terms of simply seeing (at Kol Tuv, at Jewel), you're right Chicago has diversity, but quite frankly I see the same variety in Gourmet Glatt in Lakewood (especially more recently due to the beautiful habit of Jewish yet unaffiliated families coming in every few weeks and loading up their carts with kosher chicken and meat).
But in order to really be diverse, there needs to be communities of each type and not just a few, in order to really understand them.
Otherwise you just lump together Ger and Satmar and Belz.
Similar to how a chutznik can lump Netanyahu and Lapid together- both politicians who are not Dati.
Chuck Schumer and George Bush?
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