|
|
|
|
|
Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> School age children
amother
OP
|
Thu, Jul 01 2021, 1:23 pm
out the window?
Am I asking too much to expect that my children still respect our standards to some degree?
| |
|
Back to top |
0
0
|
amother
Bergamot
|
Thu, Jul 01 2021, 1:26 pm
Can you give examples?
I live in a mixed OOT community. My kids know they can’t eat cholov stam in someone else’s home, and to ask before watching anything. They are good at following those rules. They also know I wouldn’t want them getting too dirty in the mud.
What kinds of rules are you talking about?
| |
|
Back to top |
0
5
|
ShishKabob
|
Thu, Jul 01 2021, 1:26 pm
No, it's not too much to ask. However, it depends on what it is and it depends how much of a nisayon you are putting your child into when they go to that home.
| |
|
Back to top |
0
4
|
amother
Babypink
|
Thu, Jul 01 2021, 1:28 pm
My kids know what they can and can’t do I don’t think it’s too much to ask.
| |
|
Back to top |
0
1
|
thunderstorm
|
Thu, Jul 01 2021, 1:28 pm
I don’t think it’s asking too much. Please provide an example of one standard not being respected.
| |
|
Back to top |
0
2
|
amother
Poinsettia
|
Thu, Jul 01 2021, 1:38 pm
I don't generally allow my kids to watch TV during the week, just about an hour on the weekend (on the computer). We don't own a TV.
Time and time again, they go to a friend's after school and watch TV while they eat, or instead of playing Playmobil etc. I believe that it's asking too much of my kids to not watch TV when they are a guest and their friends are watching.
However, because of this I don't always let them go to certain houses. I don't see a point in going to spend time with a friend, and then just watching TV.
| |
|
Back to top |
0
6
|
Rutabaga
|
Thu, Jul 01 2021, 1:54 pm
What kind of rules?
I give my children 2 rules for playdates - be polite and have fun. I think that pretty much covers everything.
| |
|
Back to top |
0
4
|
OOTforlife
|
Thu, Jul 01 2021, 2:06 pm
ShishKabob wrote: | No, it's not too much to ask. However, it depends on what it is and it depends how much of a nisayon you are putting your child into when they go to that home. |
Yup, this. The child's age and maturity level factor in too.
| |
|
Back to top |
0
2
|
amother
Brown
|
Thu, Jul 01 2021, 2:10 pm
amother [ Poinsettia ] wrote: | I don't generally allow my kids to watch TV during the week, just about an hour on the weekend (on the computer). We don't own a TV.
Time and time again, they go to a friend's after school and watch TV while they eat, or instead of playing Playmobil etc. I believe that it's asking too much of my kids to not watch TV when they are a guest and their friends are watching.
However, because of this I don't always let them go to certain houses. I don't see a point in going to spend time with a friend, and then just watching TV. |
Thats why I dont let them go to certain kids houses.
If All they do is watch and play video games instead of playing outside or with games- toys..
And I send them to a heimish- chassidish school..
| |
|
Back to top |
0
0
|
Chayalle
|
Thu, Jul 01 2021, 2:13 pm
I think alot depends on the child and the situation.
Years ago, I took a parenting course with Mrs. Leah Trenk of Lakewood, and she shared this story with the group. A woman who had attended her classes in Lakewood moved OOT, and her daughter was at the age of Bas Mitzvah. Her daughter was struggling with the fact that many of the Bas Mitzva events she was invited to were not Chalav Yisrael, which was the family's standard. She called Mrs. Trenk to discuss this.
Mrs. Trenk advised the woman to ask a sheila. She did, and she reported back what happened. Her Rav advised her that it was THEIR choice to move OOT, not her daughter's, and they should tell her that since it's hard for her, it's okay for her to eat, since it's Kosher after all.
The girl went to a party, and came home, and her mother asked her how it was. She said, eh, okay, it's not like the food was so great, and after all, we keep Chalav Yisrael!
Once the pressure was removed from her and she got to make her own choices...she did.
This is not a psak, just a story. If your child is struggling, ask your own LOR.
| |
|
Back to top |
0
8
|
shabbatiscoming
|
Thu, Jul 01 2021, 4:57 pm
OP, what types of things do you mean?
The vast majority of homes my child goes to are in line with our way of life so there are no specific rules we make when she goes to friends.
| |
|
Back to top |
0
3
|
ayintova
|
Thu, Jul 01 2021, 8:14 pm
We had Shabbos guests over and their children were making a bit of a mess of the toys. My children told them to clean up before taking out more toys because those are the rules at our house. The child replied, “I’m the guest! I can do what I want!”. I remember my children’s stunned reaction. LOL
| |
|
Back to top |
0
3
|
amother
Zinnia
|
Thu, Jul 01 2021, 8:20 pm
ayintova wrote: | The child replied, “I’m the guest! I can do what I want!”. I remember my children’s stunned reaction. LOL |
We teach our kids to let guests go first when it comes to anything that requires taking turns. When oldest DD was 3 and we were eating at another family, I heard DD tell their kid, "I'm the guest, so I get to go first." Oops!
Since then we have been more careful to be clear that certain rules are only for when we have guests, and other rules are only for when we are guests ourselves.
| |
|
Back to top |
0
0
|
Related Topics |
Replies |
Last Post |
|
|
Would you buy this house?
|
37 |
Sat, Apr 20 2024, 11:38 pm |
|
|
Does anyone come to your house to clean car flatbush
|
1 |
Fri, Apr 19 2024, 9:52 am |
|
|
Which pants for a child with a stomach? Size 12
|
5 |
Thu, Apr 18 2024, 3:17 pm |
|
|
Monsey, a house with a pool -- worth it?
|
39 |
Wed, Apr 17 2024, 9:12 pm |
|
|
Frum layouts/house plans - 3000-3600 square footage?
|
18 |
Tue, Apr 16 2024, 11:45 pm |
|
|
Imamother may earn commission when you use our links to make a purchase.
© 2024 Imamother.com - All rights reserved
| |
|
|
|
|
|