Should I return it?

amother

Thu, Jul 01 2021, 8:47 pm

We recently had a family over at our house (not relatives but friends of relatives). The mother did laundry in my laundry room which was no problem.

This morning as I'm sorting through my clean laundry I find a pair of black underwear (with a lightened stain [detail edited -mod], I almost put them on but then realized they are not mine.

What should I do with the underwear?

Anon because some people know who my guests were.

amother

Jasmine

Thu, Jul 01 2021, 8:48 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

We recently had a family over at our house (not relatives but friends of relatives). The mother did laundry in my laundry room which was no problem.

This morning as I'm sorting through my clean laundry I find a pair of black underwear (with a lightened stain on the crotch, looks like bleached from discharge, which happens to me too), I almost put them on but then realized they are not mine.

What should I do with the underwear?

Anon because some people know who my guests were.

Throw it out

simba

Thu, Jul 01 2021, 8:48 pm

Throw them out.

Rachel Shira

Thu, Jul 01 2021, 8:48 pm

Throw them away.

amother

Pink

Thu, Jul 01 2021, 8:52 pm

Throw them away.
Dont embarrass her

amother

Coffee

Thu, Jul 01 2021, 8:54 pm

Is it Bein Hazmanim yet? Asked Malky.

Last edited by amother on Tue, Dec 21 2021, 2:49 am; edited 1 time in total

SYA

Thu, Jul 01 2021, 8:56 pm

Throw it out. You’ll embarrass her if you ask her

zaq

Thu, Jul 01 2021, 9:12 pm

If you were the guest who left an item like this behind, would you want your hostess, whom you don't even know very well, to return it to you?

amother

Jasmine

Thu, Jul 01 2021, 9:13 pm

SafeAtLast wrote:

Is it Bein Hazmanim yet? Asked Malky.

Omg

No, said Mommy, we still have to....

taketwo

Thu, Jul 01 2021, 9:19 pm

Throw it out, without a doubt

amother

Snowflake

Thu, Jul 01 2021, 9:23 pm

Throw it out.

There was no need to describe the item in such graphic detail.
[agreed, I edited it -mod]

amother

Thu, Jul 01 2021, 9:43 pm

Ok so I'm actually a frequent poster here. Chill out.

I put the description in the post because in case the stain would be a reason she would be embarrassed. Also added that I sometimes have these stains which is why I assumed it was mine. The underwear was freshly washed.

I didn't tell my husband it was underwear but I asked him about returning stuff to them (he knows them better than me) and he said he found 2 other small things of theirs, maybe we should put it together and mail it.

I wouldn't want my underwear returned because I would be embarrassed of the type of discoloration. I'm also not struggling to pay for underwear. I remember telling a morah to throw out my preschool daughter's dirty underwear and she confirmed with me twice saying that people do want them back. I've read here about people asking the rav for their Shaileh underwear back. I don't know.

So shoot me for asking.

amother

Peony

Thu, Jul 01 2021, 9:56 pm

It would be too embarrassing for her if you returned it

amother

Freesia

Thu, Jul 01 2021, 9:59 pm

zaq wrote:

If you were the guest who left an item like this behind, would you want your hostess, whom you don't even know very well, to return it to you?

My mother in law once asked me if a thong panty she found in her dryer belongs to me or to my sister in law embarrassed

(It wasn’t mine)
That was embarrassing!

amother

Honeysuckle

Thu, Jul 01 2021, 10:00 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I came back to post that I think the question is ok and the snarky answers unnecessary.

I come from a culture where we don't just throw things out. And definitely not what doesn't belong to us, so I always hesitate. And I hear the question, and the only safe place to ask is on this forum...

I even don't think all people would be embarrassed to receive a clean pair of underwear with some other things that were returned. I wouldn't look too much at the underwear and would assume neither did the host or guest when receiving it back.

I dont mind having tomatoes thrown. Its ok to ask and 'throw it out' is an ok answer.

amother

Pearl

Thu, Jul 01 2021, 10:02 pm

amother [ Freesia ] wrote:

My mother in law once asked me if a thong panty she found in her dryer belongs to me or to my sister in law embarrassed

(It wasn’t mine)
That was embarrassing!

This happened to me too. It was mine and it was embarrassing embarrassed

amother

Watermelon

Thu, Jul 01 2021, 10:15 pm

I'd want it back. Underwear is expensive.