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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Teenagers and Older children
Do all therapists take your $ and leave you hanging?
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 4:08 am
Good morning!
I'm really angry,
I payed money to this therapist to help my son and I payed for the session, and now as guidance for a decision for next year this therapist won't answer me Mad
I feel like it's a business this whole thing
Why can't there be a follow-up up for the parent??
Why do I feel like I am left hanging and need to go ask advice from someone else now regarding this issue?? Punch
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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 4:21 am
I'm trying to understand. Is your son 11 or 17 (makes huge difference). Was this 1 session or muptiple?
My children's therapists don't tell me specifics about what they discuss in therapy as it is thier private safe space. But one child's therapist whom he sees weekly we asked to give us an overall update on what he was working on with him. In addition what we could do at home to compliment the therapy.
My child who is a young teen, the therapist just let's me know the session happened, went well or not and again an overall what is being worked on periodically.
What information were you looking for from the therapist?
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 4:25 am
I need advice regarding a decision we need to make next year for this kid, he is an older teen
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amother
Chicory


 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 4:29 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I need advice regarding a decision we need to make next year for this kid, he is an older teen

And you're asking for direction from a therapist who saw him for one session?
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amother
Cobalt


 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 4:30 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I need advice regarding a decision we need to make next year for this kid, he is an older teen


Can you ask your child if you can make an appointment with him and the therapist to have an open conversation?
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 4:31 am
You need to tell the therapist you want to book a parenting session.
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ora_43




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 4:33 am
If it was a single session, it's not so reasonable to expect the therapist to throw in a free professional consultation.

It also could be that the therapist doesn't feel qualified to give that kind of advice at this point. Especially if it was just one session. That would mean s/he's known your kid for, what, one hour?

I would tell the therapist what you're looking for in terms of guidance, and ask: 1. is that kind of guidance something they could help with at this stage? 2. if so, can you schedule a paid session to speak to them about it?

And in the future, make sure this kind of thing is very clear from the beginning. IE when scheduling, tell them "I am looking for someone to help me make a decision about (whatever). The idea is that you would meet with my son for an hour, and then you would give me advice in a 30-minute phone call. Is that something you can do? How much would that cost?"

Don't get me wrong, I do sympathize. Therapy is so so expensive and it's very frustrating to feel like you need to pay twice (for the therapy itself, and then to hear the results).
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 4:34 am
I already had parenting sessions,
And yes it's direction I need
How much more $ do I need to pay for that?
I don't understand what kind of a business this is, I payed so much money already, why can this person just point me what to do?
Better for me to see advice from random family and friends??
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 4:39 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
I already had parenting sessions,
And yes it's direction I need
How much more $ do I need to pay for that?
I don't understand what kind of a business this is, I payed so much money already, why can this person just point me what to do?
Better for me to see advice from random family and friends??

Like any other professional, this person‘s time is their livelihood. You pay a lawyer per session (in seven or 15 minute billable increments) for example; would you expect a free follow-up with a lawyer? A doctor bills your insurance for their time. Every paid professional needs to be compensated for their time. A five-minute chat every now and then is one thing, but it sounds like want a session which you have to pay for. I suggested calling at a parenting session because that is what therapist usually call it when they meet with parents. When you book, tell the therapist what it is that you need at the time of booking.


Last edited by watergirl on Tue, Jul 13 2021, 4:44 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 4:39 am
Oh well, my husband being a head of a community can sit for hours with ppl and never get payed a dime and here I simply needed a little advice and I can't get it
What a great business for ppl to go into Mad
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amother
Moccasin


 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 4:43 am
My own therapists never gave “advice” though they did help me by hearing me talk and reflecting back different things that I said and pointing out things about what I said. But no out right advice really.
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 4:45 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Oh well, my husband being a head of a community can sit for hours with ppl and never get payed a dime and here I simply needed a little advice and I can't get it
What a great business for ppl to go into Mad

He signed up for that role and knew what he would be compensated and how. I’m sure there is some sort of compensation, if not in the form of regular payment.
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 4:46 am
Oh well I suppose this is a unique situation,
The mentchlich thing would be for this therapist to send me a quick reply than , I am sorry I can't advise you in this situation, or for that answer another $200
But to ignore me is just not nice Rolling Eyes
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watergirl




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 4:49 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Oh well I suppose this is a unique situation,
The mentchlich thing would be for this therapist to send me a quick reply than , I am sorry I can't advise you in this situation, or for that answer another $200
But to ignore me is just not nice Rolling Eyes

Does this therapist allow texting? Have they ever responded to a text before?
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 4:51 am
Sometimes, and then this therapist will stop in the middle and leave me hanging
I would rather just know, it's more money? Or this therapist just can't answer
The hanging part is what is getting to me
After hundreds of dollars there should be some sort of a reply no?
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amother
Moccasin


 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 4:52 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
Oh well I suppose this is a unique situation,
The mentchlich thing would be for this therapist to send me a quick reply than , I am sorry I can't advise you in this situation, or for that answer another $200
But to ignore me is just not nice Rolling Eyes

Oh I misunderstood you.
Yes, I agree.
Unless for some reason they did not see your text/ call? Can you reach out again?
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 4:56 am
I reached out again.
Probably will get ignored
So frustrating to have to start again with someone else Mad
Almost like I just want to give up
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amother
Opal


 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 4:56 am
Can you ask outright? Say I really need this guidance can you tell me what I need to do to discuss this with you?
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 5:00 am
That's a good idea
I will try that
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amother
Moccasin


 

Post Tue, Jul 13 2021, 5:01 am
So you asked
“Do all therapists do this?”
The answer is no!
It isn’t fair to lump all therapists together like that because of the actions of one!
Each therapist has their own way of doing things and their own boundaries and own personality!

Most would reply - perhaps not right away and perhaps to explain their reason as to why they can’t help you.

(Signed- a client who’s had two very different therapists with very different approaches)
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