Baby Girl Kiddush - Weekday

Elfrida

Tue, Jul 13 2021, 5:04 am

If it is on Shabbos or Yom Tov you can make a kiddush.

If it is Motzei Shabbos you can make a Melave Malka.

On Monday or Thursday or Rosh Chodesh (after leining) it is common to make a l'chaim.

At any other time you can make a Simchat Bat.

You can make a celebration any time you want. There is no inyan of making a kiddush on a day when one does not say kiddush. There is a different level of kedusha attached to these days, and some feel there is an advantage to linking the celebration to one of these days, but it is not essential. This is about the only situation in frum Judaism that there are no halachas. It is a relatively modern minhag, and you are pretty much free to do as you like.

amother

Firethorn

Tue, Jul 13 2021, 5:09 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Well here goes.
I’m a few months pregnant BH and just found out I’m having a girl.

I have one girl and a boy already and I actually loved the vacht nacht and bris with my boy because I got to be a part of the Simcha and be a baalas Simcha.
With my girl my husband just did a kiddush in shul and I was home alone and that was the end of the Simcha.

There are so many reasons I want to celebrate this birth iyh we’ve been through a lot and I feel like celebrating and being a part of the Simcha after all - I am the one giving birth.

I’m also due in the winter so shabbat is short and having a huge big kiddush in our house will not work with timing and what not. So I thought we could do a party / kiddush during the week. I have friends who hve done it but not in the tri state area and I want to know how weird/crazy will people think I am?

It won’t be fancy or crazy ott just a nice Sunday brunch/weekday evening where our friends and family (both men & women) will be invited to share our Simcha and celebrate with us. In lieu of a vacht nacht/bris.

What are your thoughts and how would you make such a Simcha? Looking for all ideas and opinions (just try keep them friendly, I’m a hormonal pregnant lady after all Wink

)

My daughter was born in February but we had a kiddush on Shavuos so I could attend.

Loved it and she was slightly older and easier by that time.

#BestBubby

Tue, Jul 13 2021, 11:52 am

I think the term weekday "kiddush" is incorrect as one makes kiddush only on Shobbos.

But people make a "l'chaim" for a yahrtzeit during the week - with liquor and cake/cookies.

So maybe call it a weekday l'chaim in honor of new baby.

Even better if you can do it when giving the name on a weekday Torah reading.

amother

Winterberry

Tue, Jul 13 2021, 1:03 pm

I might not have seen this done in my circles, but that doesn't mean it isn't a thing to do it midweek. I like the idea that's been suggested before about doing a melave malka on the short winter shabbos. But you would still have all the family coming over shabbos if you did that, so not sure it's changed much.
Or you could do a whole shabbos experience where you have family meals over the whole shabbos, extend the kiddush time for longer. I've done kiddushim several times in the winter months and it's been fine. The family/friends that would stay longer, stayed longer-we had rolls, cholent, kugel all available so people could have a proper meal.
In my experience I felt more part of the kiddush than I did the bris. I did the kiddushim for all my girls roughly 3+ weeks after birth when I was feeling a bit more myself, we did it in our house and I sat on the couch where friends/family came and it was really nice. The bris is a week after birth, it's hard to sit down, stitches are hurting, still getting the feeding right. The mother stays at home whilst the men go to shul with the baby. I would take the kiddush over the bris.

etky

Tue, Jul 13 2021, 1:48 pm

I never heard of the concept of a kiddush of any sort on a yom chol so I voted no.
But I have certainly attended mid-week parties for the birth of baby girls and also made one myself for my oldest DD.
In our circles they're referred to as a simchat bat or a zeved habat.

amother

Yellow

Tue, Jul 13 2021, 3:17 pm

We made a kiddush for my oldest daughter when we named her, on the Thursday after she was born. Catered a breakfast in a hall. I was told it was beautiful. I was still in the hospital.
For those who say they never heard of it, it is customary to give cake and schnapps during the week when a baby is born. Since us ladies are not there, you may not realize that.

amother

Bellflower

Tue, Jul 13 2021, 3:41 pm

amother [ Yellow ] wrote:

My dad Did a tikkun in shul the day after (Monday) I had my girl.

We made kiddish on shul that shabbos. She was named and we had the kiddish

amother

Tue, Jul 13 2021, 5:39 pm

So I know that really it’s not called a “kiddush” it’s the concept I’m trying to describe of having the “party” on a weekday.

As of now our plan is to make a small lchaim in shul whenever we name her and then a week or two later make a Sunday brunch for close family and friends.

I was worried we’d be looked at as completely nuts if we did it but from the range of answers here it seems that people have heard/understand it.

bernadette

Tue, Jul 13 2021, 6:01 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

That sounds fine. And a Sunday brunch is always nice.

amother

Lemonchiffon

Tue, Jul 13 2021, 7:52 pm

A relative of mine made a Sunday afternoon simchas bas recently. I really enjoyed and would for sure think about doing something similar in the future.
If you want to make it a seudas mitzva, you can do it in conjunction with a siyum.

wiki

Tue, Jul 13 2021, 9:53 pm

I know lots of people who have celebrated baby girls with weekday informal events--bris-type food, some divrei Torah, either at home or in a social hall--shortly after the baby was born. It's great if you want to get all the relatives there and you don't want to host them for Shabbos.

I've never heard of anyone calling this event a "kiddush."

I've heard Simchat Bat (/Simchas Bas), Zeved Habat, "Yay-we-had-a-Baby-girl-party" (literally!), Open House, etc.

wiki

Tue, Jul 13 2021, 9:56 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Your community of background would make all the difference. Modern Orthodox people have been having Simchat Bat celebrations for 35 years at least; yeshivish and chassidish I doubt it.

amother

Currant

Wed, Jul 14 2021, 1:32 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

)

Why can’t you make your Shabbos kiddush at home?

amother

Wed, Jul 14 2021, 5:58 pm

amother [ Currant ] wrote:

Why can’t you make your Shabbos kiddush at home?

I wish but our home isn’t big enough. As well, many of those we would want to attend our Simcha would have to move into our area for Shabbat and I can’t imagine hosting so many people and finding place for everyone to sleep.