Teenage son wants to hang out with girls

amother

Opal

Thu, Jul 15 2021, 5:33 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I'm all for reasonable rules. If I trust him and he tells me who when how he hangs out with, I feel unreasonable to implement 'no room' rule. His friends, all boys up until this point, love being at his private space. It will be a punishment to take it away now. But before I used to know all the boys and their parents, now not so much. I know which school the girls go to, that's it.... You think I should ask him for names, introduce myself to parents?

Definitely don't introduce yourself to their parents! The boy is 16, didn't you say? Way too old for that!
Yes, it would be nice to get their names and a hello from them. Though it might be difficult if he lives in a studio type apartment/granny flat attached to the house, and they come in from outside.

amother

Opal

Thu, Jul 15 2021, 5:37 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thank you for taking the time to share!
I believe I am able to make a shift in my mentality that this is a phase and acceptable, but before, in all seriousness, I need to find him a new school. I think very highly of his school principal and not sure can participate in going behind his back and breaking school rules...

You need to think first of your son, not of the school principal.
If your son is adamant that he wants to switch schools, that's one thing. But if it's your idea, just because you are uncomfortable facing the principal - that's skewed, and a huge mistake.

Lots of pupils break school rules. Probably more break them than don't. Your son is a big boy. If he decides to break this rule, knowing it is a rule, he should know there are consequences and he might get called to the principal, and if worse comes to worst, he might even get kicked out. That's a risk he needs to be aware of. But I would never preempt this and take him out unless it was his decision.

If your son is happy where he is, leave him be. It's not easy finding a kid a school.

FranticFrummie

Thu, Jul 15 2021, 7:22 am

amother [ Opal ] wrote:

THIS.

And who's to say that the new school won't be full of bad influences? He may just be talking to girls (and nothing more), but a sudden change of school and some new "friends" could be a disaster. Better he stick with the schoolmates he knows, than with the unknown.

Let the principal deal with the school rules. If your son gets caught out, he'll be the one who has to experience the consequences. Until then, I would stay out of it. If nothing is going on except talking and hanging out, I wouldn't choose this hill to die on. IYH this will be the biggest problem you ever have.