Tu B'Av gift when Tu b'Av falls on Shabbat

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

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amother

Tue, Jul 20 2021, 5:38 am

If a man and a woman have been dating for two months, and the woman would like to get the man a tu beav gift, but they live in different cities (so she wont see him in person on Shabbat), and she was thinking of ordering a cake or flowers and having it delivered, should she:

1. Have it delivered on Friday
2. Have it delivered on Sunday
3. Not give a gift because it's too complicated
4. Not give a gift because shes the woman

Other?

Btw MO, in Israel, older singles (if it matters)

English3

Tue, Jul 20 2021, 6:23 am

I vote 4! Men give gifts😊we say thank you.

etky

Tue, Jul 20 2021, 6:30 am

If you're going to do it then do it on Friday so he can enjoy the cake and flowers over Shabbat.
Whether you should do it or not is a highly subjective question. It depends on things like where your relationship is right now and what the dynamics between you are, and on his personality etc.

Maybe if you're not sure about whether it is the right thing for you to do, then suggest an experience that the two of you can do together next week like a nice romantic meal, stroll on the beach etc.

BTW I don't think that your being the woman is the issue. It's just as accepted for women to buy a gift for Tu Be'Av as a man. That said, maybe not this early in the relationship but then again you're the best judge of that.

salt

Tue, Jul 20 2021, 6:30 am

Not gonna give an opinion as to whether the man or woman should be sending the gift.
But I think a gift for shabbat, should be delivered on Friday rather than Sunday.

zaq

Tue, Jul 20 2021, 8:11 am

Also bowing out of the should-a-woman-give-a-gift-to-a-man-she's-dating debate. But receiving a gift "for Tu B'Av" after that date has no taam, so have it delivered on Friday and it can be enjoyed on Shabbat.

A'course I never heard of giving a gift for Tu B'Av. Is this "a neieh zach" as my dad would have said?

amother

Tue, Jul 20 2021, 9:33 am

zaq wrote:

Yeah, it's a "new thing" , comes from the secular tradition of Valentine's day gifts. I'd never celebrate Valentine's day, but since Tu BeAv is legitimately Jewish, I think giving gifts then is harmless.

etky

Tue, Jul 20 2021, 9:51 am

zaq wrote:

Do you really think that retailers/ internet discounters would miss such an opportunity, especially in the dead of summer when there are no chagim?
It's become as commercial as any Hallmark holiday in the States, unfortunately.
Except that here we now have Valentines Day AND Tu B'Av Can't Believe It

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