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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
Would u ask ur 7 yr old daughter?



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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 6:22 am
We're planning a vacation for a few days where my daughter will miss a major trip of Sahara sam's and she loves waterparks. I wanted to ask her if she's ok with missing it and my husband said not to. I just feel that she will be so upset and it will dampen her excitement for our trip once she finds out... In the end, my husband booked without asking her and I'm not feeling good about it....
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 6:23 am
Just realized it's under the wrong subcategory
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amother
Lightcyan


 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 6:47 am
Where will she be while you’re there?
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amother
OP


 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 7:01 am
With us- family vacation
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singleagain




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 7:07 am
Does she know the water park is coming up? Won't she realize she's gonna miss it when you start packing the day(s) before and talk about the trip?

Is this trip at least equally exciting? Is there any part that you can really talk up that she'll be excited for that might make up for the missed water park?


(Also you can report your post and ask a mod to move it to a different subforum)
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ra_mom




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 7:08 am
Tell her we're so excited to be taking you on vacation to x exciting place. There's a, b &c to do there! We'll be staying at y fancy place. The vacation will be during the day camp's water park trip.
Then be there for her and validate her when she's upset. I know it's so hard for you. I'm sorry, I love you. (Don't say but you'll have so much fun on vacation. Just validate.)
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amother
Wine


 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 7:11 am
Well… the good thing is that in Lakewood she will probably go next year too… the camps here usually do this trip every year.

You will have to explain to her that this was the only time to go on a family trip. You couldn’t leave without her and you know she will be disappointed about missing Sahara sams but you will try to do some fun things to make her happy. She really is young to enjoy the trip with camp. Kids are resilient and if you explain that you understand she’s disappointed, she will probably get over it pretty fast.
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amother
Babyblue


 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 7:57 am
Can she stay behind at a friend if she wants to? How long is your vacation? Will there be a pool or something there?
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amother
Lightcyan


 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 7:59 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
With us- family vacation


I don’t understand at all.

Your going on vacation to Sahara Sam but not taking her. Are you taking her siblings?
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amother
Babyblue


 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 8:02 am
amother [ Lightcyan ] wrote:
I don’t understand at all.

Your going on vacation to Sahara Sam but not taking her. Are you taking her siblings?


The Sahara sams is with camp, she will miss that if they go away as a family.
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amother
Powderblue


 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 8:41 am
We did this last year. We went on a major family trip to Colorado Rockies. All the kids missed camp, colorwar, trips. They were all fine. It really can’t compare.
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amother
Lightcyan


 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 8:48 am
amother [ Babyblue ] wrote:
The Sahara sams is with camp, she will miss that if they go away as a family.


Ah! OP you didn’t specify that. You just said trip. I literally thought you were going to Sahara sams on a trip and leaving her behind

I don’t think you need to tell her.
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Amarante




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 9:37 am
I don't think you can "ask" a 7 year old whether she will be okay with missing it because in my experience 7 year old minds don't work that logically Very Happy and you are not giving her an alternative anyway - e.g. not saying would you rather stay with Bubbe or come on this trip?

Won't she find out from friends who talk about the trip when she returns?

Is it possible to schedule a trip to a waterpark with your kids at the end of the summer. That way she would have something to look forward to even if she wasn't doing it as a camp experience.
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amother
Jetblack


 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 11:44 am
Are you giving her an option of not joining your trip? What is the point in telling her?
We went to visit my in-laws when school/camp was in session and when we returned my son was sad to hear the exciting things he missed. He had a great time visiting my in laws, but missed out on Yeshiva camp. He got over it 2-3 days later. (He’s eight)
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amother
Cadetblue


 

Post Wed, Jul 21 2021, 1:20 pm
At that age I would not leave the decision up to the child. I would let them know kindly and gently, and leave a lot of room for their disappointment. I would not try to minimize their feelings by talking about how amazing the family trip will be. I would keep saying, Kindly and gently, this is what our family’s doing, we’re so happy you’re coming with us. Or whatever other script works for you, along with heaps of validation for her disappointment. If she doesn’t know in advance about the day camp trip, I wouldn’t necessaril6 tell her, but I would expect her to find out after, and do the same. Lots of room for disappointment, lots of validation. It will pass on its own. She will get over it.
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