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Forum -> Inquiries & Offers -> Lakewood, Toms River & Jackson related Inquiries
What’s the point of high school (girls)
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amother
Khaki


 

Post Tue, Jul 27 2021, 12:13 am
amother [ OP ] wrote:
My DD is still not in a high School, don’t tell me it’s a numbers game that's why she is not in anywhere. If that is the case why did “Leah Fried” get in when non of her parents are from Lakewood and have nothing to do with the school, when this is the school I and my sister, not to mention my cousins and their kids went there. Why don’t they want my Daughter? Why can’t they give me a reason why they don’t want my DD?

Now I understand why high schools would have their big fundraiser before acceptance season. So people would send nice checks in hope of getting their DD in school. Afterwords the school would just get letters saying that we have no Hakours H’atov you did not take our kid.


I am starting to wonder why I am fighting to pay a few 1,000’s a year plus all the miscellaneous expenses that come along with having a girl in High School. I am sure I learned something in high school, now if I can remember what it was that would be nice. I don’t keep up with anyone from high school so it is not like I got friends for life.
So what is the point of high school?


I did not read the whole thread so not sure if this was mentioned. Is applying to an oot school an option?
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jul 27 2021, 12:15 am
Sorry, it was 2:00 in the morning after I just took some asthma meds that make me very aggravated at the world. I should have written it different. I am commoner now.

While Lakewood might have the worst problem this is not only a Lakewood problem of kids not getting into school, any community that grew a lot over the last number of years has this problem. I can name a few with out even thinking. The people who say that the MO world does not have this problem I am happy to hear that, years ago my DH was working in Torah Meshorah right after MAZE closed down, the gap that it caused in the MO world boomeranged for years. While my DH did not do school placement he did work in that department and I got to hear how there was no place for a lot of kids. I am happy to hear that that was fixed up.

I think my year that I went to high school was the first year that girls were not excepted into high school, and the problem has not gotten any better. I am always reading how girls schools are big money makers if that is the case why is their not a surplus? Elementary schools are easier to open then High Schools. Despite the shortage of high schools many people are hesitate to send to a new school, one reason is many new schools don’t make it and if you have younger girls you are stuck.

I tried to apply to schools that I think my family would fit in. For example I don’t cover my hair with a Sheital, there is a school were they have a rule that you must come in to the building wearing a sheital so it did not make scene to apply there. In my research on schools there was one school that I did not find anyone who sent there that was happy-I was surprised-so why should I apply to that school.

My DD was very chilled out about not having a school to go to until I told her that if she is not excepted any were she will just work in her grandmother’s daycare. Now she is davening to get into a school, I think more then me.Usually at the last minute some thing happens that most girls get into a school, what I don’t understand is why the Vaad can’t do this by July first, why stretch it out the whole summer.

Years ago I lived on Staten Island and I don’t know if it is still done every time someone build a house they had to make shore there was a school seat if not they had to pay to a fund that will eventually build a school. Years ago my sister and I were talking about how there is no such thing like that in Lakewood and how it would help some of the problems. It is probably not very practical.
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barbara1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 27 2021, 12:19 am
amother [ Daphne ] wrote:
What on earth do you think such young girls should be doing with their time?


Online school. Online school is allot cheaper will accept everyone.its time we do something to address this sick mentality of rejecting our children. We have organizations for everything and yet we it comes to our precious children a large part of our community is rejected by the lakewood school system.
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naturalmom5




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 27 2021, 12:40 am
amother [ Floralwhite ] wrote:
Coming from the MO world I can never understand the Lakewood phenomenon of people not getting into schools. My DH works in admissions in a boys high school and at the end of admissions season all of the community schools get together and discuss all of the boys who didn't get into a School. They then all have to take some of the boys who didn't get in until every local boy has a school as the Rabbanim in the community have said that we cant just leave local kids without a school. Why can't Lakewood do something similar?



What you are saying is true
But you failed to mention that Lakewood schools are 5-7 k a year

MO high schools are 20 to 30
I have many friends who were forced to send to Public School or Home school because they coukdnt afford it
My own went to YNJ because he was classified and the state paid most of the tuition
But then had to go to Public HS
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Bleemee




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 27 2021, 12:41 am
Can you explain the Staten Island fund again?
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amother
Vanilla


 

Post Tue, Jul 27 2021, 12:52 am
I know some Lakewood girls who’ve had a wonderful experience at Bet Yaakov of the Jersey Shore.

It’s a small school where every girl matters, and Lakewood girls can fit in nicely there.

It’s also not that far from Lakewood, and there are carpools to make it easier.

ETA: I believe they are happy to accept girls from Lakewood
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Crookshanks




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 27 2021, 1:23 am
amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:
PS = public school

Aha
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Crookshanks




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 27 2021, 1:32 am
small bean wrote:
Yes. Anything outside of Lakewood.

If a girl needs to travel 2-3 hours each day to get to school, that's out of town 😏
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jul 27 2021, 1:48 am
Bleemee wrote:
Can you explain the Staten Island fund again?


It was run by the government to insure that there is enough public school seats available. In order to build a new house the builder had to make shore there was a seat in public school available for that house or pay into a fund, so that the government would have money to build more schools.

It would not work in Lakewood for many reasons, for one thing if there was a fund to build more schools who would get the school?
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amother
Lavender


 

Post Tue, Jul 27 2021, 2:04 am
Unfortunately, this goes both ways.

We live OOT and my daughter’s first choice was our local MO school. Dd has ADHD and we pay for additional tutoring in and out of school.
Her first choice rejected her because ‘they couldn’t meet her needs’. Mind you, no behavior problems or oppositional behavior at all. The MO school is just more focused on becoming a ‘prep school’ and bragging about how many graduates go on to Ivy League schools. Dh asked one of the board members what kids with learning issues are supposed to do, he flat out told dh to put her in public school because ‘that’s what they are there for.’
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amother
OP


 

Post Tue, Jul 27 2021, 2:05 am
amother [ Khaki ] wrote:
I did not read the whole thread so not sure if this was mentioned. Is applying to an oot school an option?


At this point I am not thinking about sending oot, I would want to send to online class first then send my DD away. I don’t live in middle of no-were were that is the only option
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DrMom




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 27 2021, 2:13 am
All this seems like a result of bad planning. I understood that all Jewish education in Lakewood is overseen by some sort of central Vaad. Can't they track the growth rate of the Jewish community there and predict how many classrooms will be needed 4 or 8 years down the road, and encourage the establishment of new schools accordingly? Seems like it would eliminate a lot of hardship and anguish for the community's students and parents.
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amother
Poppy


 

Post Tue, Jul 27 2021, 6:52 am
What do you cover your hair with OP?
Or do u not cover?
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amother
Wine


 

Post Tue, Jul 27 2021, 7:01 am
DrMom wrote:
All this seems like a result of bad planning. I understood that all Jewish education in Lakewood is overseen by some sort of central Vaad. Can't they track the growth rate of the Jewish community there and predict how many classrooms will be needed 4 or 8 years down the road, and encourage the establishment of new schools accordingly? Seems like it would eliminate a lot of hardship and anguish for the community's students and parents.


Who is responsible for this planning?
A community that is stretched to the limit financially.
A community that the ppl moving to don’t care for. Lkwd was a yeshiva community. The influx of ppl mock the yeshiva and it’s culture.
Priced out of buying homes. Having traffic so impossible you. You cannot drive any where. (I’m serious. You cannot fathom the traffic problem).
Lakewood has become over crowded.
Tremendously expensive.
Ppl move from richer towns. They sell homes worth millions. Buy ‘cheaper’ home in lkwd not minding pushing up the price. Many keep their jobs in Their original town and commute making much higher salaries then ppl make in lkwd.
Bec 1000s of ppl have moved here over the pas years.
No one could’ve predicted this. Especially the numbers that moved over covid.
We’ve been saying the school system is maxxed and ppl keep coming and not caring and not building infrastructure.

Just complaining. (About everything - schools, mikvah, traffic, restaurants, shopping, traffic…)

And all we keep hearing is why didn’t we plan.
Who should’ve done this planning?
Who should’ve paid for this?
Ppl who paid for the original schools they funded and can no longer get into bec ppl moved to town?

Ppl tell me proudly all the time they live in Toms River or Jackson. Not lakewood G-d forbid. But then complain they can’t get into lkwd schools.
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amother
Azure


 

Post Tue, Jul 27 2021, 7:36 am
amother [ Poppy ] wrote:
What do you cover your hair with OP?
Or do u not cover?


I think this is on the wrong thread!
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amother
DarkCyan


 

Post Tue, Jul 27 2021, 7:40 am
amother [ Wine ] wrote:
Who is responsible for this planning?
A community that is stretched to the limit financially.
A community that the ppl moving to don’t care for. Lkwd was a yeshiva community. The influx of ppl mock the yeshiva and it’s culture.
Priced out of buying homes. Having traffic so impossible you. You cannot drive any where. (I’m serious. You cannot fathom the traffic problem).
Lakewood has become over crowded.
Tremendously expensive.
Ppl move from richer towns. They sell homes worth millions. Buy ‘cheaper’ home in lkwd not minding pushing up the price. Many keep their jobs in Their original town and commute making much higher salaries then ppl make in lkwd.
Bec 1000s of ppl have moved here over the pas years.
No one could’ve predicted this. Especially the numbers that moved over covid.
We’ve been saying the school system is maxxed and ppl keep coming and not caring and not building infrastructure.

Just complaining. (About everything - schools, mikvah, traffic, restaurants, shopping, traffic…)

And all we keep hearing is why didn’t we plan.
Who should’ve done this planning?
Who should’ve paid for this?
Ppl who paid for the original schools they funded and can no longer get into bec ppl moved to town?

Ppl tell me proudly all the time they live in Toms River or Jackson. Not lakewood G-d forbid. But then complain they can’t get into lkwd schools.

Not fully true. Even when it was a smaller community, those in power knew exactly what was going on and did not care to allow ridiculous building because they profited from it. It may have snowballed out of control at some point, but it was wrong to begin with and they did not care.
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barbara1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 27 2021, 7:51 am
amother [ Wine ] wrote:
Who is responsible for this planning?
A community that is stretched to the limit financially.
A community that the ppl moving to don’t care for. Lkwd was a yeshiva community. The influx of ppl mock the yeshiva and it’s culture.
Priced out of buying homes. Having traffic so impossible you. You cannot drive any where. (I’m serious. You cannot fathom the traffic problem).
Lakewood has become over crowded.
Tremendously expensive.
Ppl move from richer towns. They sell homes worth millions. Buy ‘cheaper’ home in lkwd not minding pushing up the price. Many keep their jobs in Their original town and commute making much higher salaries then ppl make in lkwd.
Bec 1000s of ppl have moved here over the pas years.
No one could’ve predicted this. Especially the numbers that moved over covid.
We’ve been saying the school system is maxxed and ppl keep coming and not caring and not building infrastructure.

Just complaining. (About everything - schools, mikvah, traffic, restaurants, shopping, traffic…)

And all we keep hearing is why didn’t we plan.
Who should’ve done this planning?
Who should’ve paid for this?
Ppl who paid for the original schools they funded and can no longer get into bec ppl moved to town?

Ppl tell me proudly all the time they live in Toms River or Jackson. Not lakewood G-d forbid. But then complain they can’t get into lkwd schools.


We are all responsible. Why when it comes to organizations helping our children that have rl cancer we all feel a responsibility towards each other and yet when it comes to our dearest children that are elienated and pushed off the derech we have this lame excuse and blame it on the tremendous growth.We have to start opening schools and work with every girl that wants a jewish education.
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allthingsblue




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 27 2021, 8:10 am
amother [ Poppy ] wrote:
What do you cover your hair with OP?
Or do u not cover?


I’m guessing a mitpachat.
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Elfrida




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 27 2021, 8:21 am
amother [ Azure ] wrote:
I think this is on the wrong thread!


The question is relevant because in an earlier post the OP mentioned one school she sid not apply to because this school had a rule that mothers should only come to the school wearing a sheital. Since she does not cover with a sheital, there was no point applying to this school.

Presumably she covers with a mitpachat of some kind.
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barbara1




 
 
    
 

Post Tue, Jul 27 2021, 8:32 am
amother [ Wine ] wrote:
Who is responsible for this planning?
A community that is stretched to the limit financially.
A community that the ppl moving to don’t care for. Lkwd was a yeshiva community. The influx of ppl mock the yeshiva and it’s culture.
Priced out of buying homes. Having traffic so impossible you. You cannot drive any where. (I’m serious. You cannot fathom the traffic problem).
Lakewood has become over crowded.
Tremendously expensive.
Ppl move from richer towns. They sell homes worth millions. Buy ‘cheaper’ home in lkwd not minding pushing up the price. Many keep their jobs in Their original town and commute making much higher salaries then ppl make in lkwd.
Bec 1000s of ppl have moved here over the pas years.
No one could’ve predicted this. Especially the numbers that moved over covid.
We’ve been saying the school system is maxxed and ppl keep coming and not caring and not building infrastructure.

Just complaining. (About everything - schools, mikvah, traffic, restaurants, shopping, traffic…)

And all we keep hearing is why didn’t we plan.
Who should’ve done this planning?
Who should’ve paid for this?
Ppl who paid for the original schools they funded and can no longer get into bec ppl moved to town?

Ppl tell me proudly all the time they live in Toms River or Jackson. Not lakewood G-d forbid. But then complain they can’t get into lkwd schools.


I am here in lakewood for 21 years and the school situation was always bad but it has just gotten worse and I dodnt think there is a simple answer for this messy complicated situation .
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